5 years and I am stupid

[BeautyInTheWorld]

it would be an awesome night!!

 

Dunno, we just give our hearts and don't realise who we are giving them to.

 

I think men are stupidly clueless, the majority of the time.

I remember having a fight with my ex and saying I'd never truly give him 100% of my heart because like everyone else, he'll run away with it. He spent the night convincing to give him everything. So I did. He ran off with it.

Dick.

I hope he gets mauled by a dog.

I already know he got punched in a fight and bitten the other weekend.

AND I'M GLAD

I just wish he was bitten by a zombie.

[geegirl]

I know i am obsessing about whether the girl is a lie, but it is because if i knew for sure that it was a lie, i could give him up for good in about 10 seconds flat, and feel none of this pain. I would just feel complete revulsion for him. :sick:

 

It's what you think you will feel in that you can give him up in 10 flat if he's with someone else. But what you will feel is intense pain and mind crazed thoughts knowing he is with someone else. Yes, you will be disgusted but when that anger settles and it will, fast, you will constantly be thinking about what he's doing with her, how he's kissing her, how he's making love to her, how he must be having dinner with her, etc. And most of all, you will beat yourself up questioning your worth/lacking. It's quite easy to believe that it you will feel no pain but it will be quite the opposite.

[mishy]

It's what you think you will feel in that you can give him up in 10 flat if he's with someone else. But what you will feel is intense pain and mind crazed thoughts knowing he is with someone else. Yes, you will be disgusted but when that anger settles and it will, fast, you will constantly be thinking about what he's doing with her, how he's kissing her, how he's making love to her, how he must be having dinner with her, etc. And most of all, you will beat yourself up questioning your worth/lacking. It's quite easy to believe that it you will feel no pain but it will be quite the opposite.

 

No GG, what i am saying is that if i knew she was a lie, i could give him up for good in about 10 seconds flat, and feel none of this pain. Because if she is a lie, i would just feel complete revulsion for him, because he has lied and may be a sociopath :sick: It would be the ultimate ultimate turn off to know its a lie.

 

I have been imagining all that stuff he might be doing with her, and it could be unnecessary pain, as she might not even be real. You know what i mean? Like he could be putting me though this because of someone that doesnt even exist.

 

 

**

Edited October 24, 2012 by mishy

[geegirl]

No GG, what i am saying is that if i knew she was a lie, i could give him up for good in about 10 seconds flat, and feel none of this pain. Because if she is a lie, i would just feel complete revulsion for him, because he has lied and may be a sociopath :sick: It would be the ultimate ultimate turn off to know its a lie.

 

I have been imagining all that stuff he might be doing with her, and it could be unnecessary pain, as she might not even be real. You know what i mean? Like he could be putting me though this because of someone that doesnt even exist.

 

 

**

 

Ah, that's what happens when I am too lazy to look for my glasses.

 

Well, he lied once before about another woman and you took him back. Why weren't you repulsed then? Why now? Aside from that, what about all his other traits? I'm just wondering why you keep hanging on to this one issue rather than looking at him as a whole.

 

He may be lying because when he felt you getting close, he used the excuse to keep you at a distance. In a way, he couldn't say it outright but used the excuse to set you straight. Now it sets distance between the two of you. In time you will calm down. He will then make contact and resume. He's repeating a pattern that was enabled by you.

 

Who knows but I wouldn't call him a sociopath unless he's been clinically diagnosed.

 

It's very much easier to deal with the rejection when you slap a label on someone because it lessens the blow. A label helps you somewhat justify and grasp why you need to step away rather than know you need to step away because you're done with it. But at the end of the day, rather than slap that label, try to just take his actions as unhealthy and a path that you will not go down again.

[mishy]

Ah, that's what happens when I am too lazy to look for my glasses.

 

Well, he lied once before about another woman and you took him back. Why weren't you repulsed then? Why now? Aside from that, what about all his other traits? I'm just wondering why you keep hanging on to this one issue rather than looking at him as a whole.

 

He may be lying because when he felt you getting close, he used the excuse to keep you at a distance. In a way, he couldn't say it outright but used the excuse to set you straight. Now it sets distance between the two of you. In time you will calm down. He will then make contact and resume. He's repeating a pattern that was enabled by you.

 

Who knows but I wouldn't call him a sociopath unless he's been clinically diagnosed.

 

It's very much easier to deal with the rejection when you slap a label on someone because it lessens the blow. A label helps you somewhat justify and grasp why you need to step away rather than know you need to step away because you're done with it. But at the end of the day, rather than slap that label, try to just take his actions as unhealthy and a path that you will not go down again.

 

haha lol glasses

 

the first time he lied it was pretty big and i didnt speak to him for about 4 months. I had very black and white strong evidence that he lied, and i was so stunned by how detailed the lie was. I have no idea why i went back, i think i was so stunned by the whole thing i felt like well maybe i was wrong? how could someone be this good a liar? Don't know, we both pretended it never happened. Now i know though it WAS a lie, i just chose to ignore it.

 

At the time of that lie, we had only known each other about 5 months and i was starting to ask him away for the weekend, and things like that. He told me he had met her in the space of a week, and that he felt he could develop something with her, (she was a girl he was supposedly working with at this fictitious job), and was considering moving there permanently if the company gave him the job, as she would be a "bonus". And that he hadn't expected to meet someone. ALL A LIE

 

Shortly before the lie i had asked him to go away, or do something on the weekend. .I remember the day i spoke to him and how stressed and breathless he was saying he was "off to melbourne now" and i sensed something then.

 

This time, the weekend before he told me about this girl, i had also asked him away for the weekend, to the beach. he said he was working, but didnt speak to me for a few days after that Also around that time i was going to go away with him for the night on one of his overnight trips on the bus..... and then a week later told me about the girl. When i rang and asked him well how long have you known her and how did you meet, he was very sketchy, but they were similar answers. All i got was "met her a couple of weeks ago" and "met by chance". "might get serious"

 

 

 

Anyway all i know is a dont want to speak to him or text him. I feel like i don't know who he is.

Edited October 24, 2012 by mishy

[geegirl]

Everytime you wanted to get close he sealed it with a block -- another woman. That stops you in your tracks. In his mind it was his only way to derail you from trying to get close to him. Even with black and white proof, you went back. He most likely will pull the same pattern again. He'll give you a few months to calm down and forget what happened. Then he'll come back thinking you will once again take him back. Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

I hope that even when he's knocking on your door, you ignore him.

Edited October 24, 2012 by geegirl

[mishy]

Everytime you wanted to get close he sealed it with a block -- another woman. That stops you in your tracks. In his mind it was his only way to derail you from trying to get close to him. Even with black and white proof, you went back. He most likely will pull the same pattern again. He'll give you a few months to calm down and forget what happened. Then he'll come back thinking you will once again take him back. Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

I hope that even when he's knocking on your door, you ignore him.

 

Yes i agree, its a block.

 

When he lied before he was saying things like, "i'll call you next week and let you know if i'll be taking the job and moving here" And my friends were saying to me, well if he has met someone why the h is he ringing you?? It was really strange. The lie was so elaborate!! I think now the extra week was him wanting more space...

 

When i rang him and confronted him about the lie, he didnt say a word and hung up the phone immediately. he knew he was busted.

 

I won't be confronting him about this one, no way. I don't have any evidence, just instinct.

 

I dont know why i took him back! I think i was so blown away by my ability and luck to uncover this lie that i ended up doubting it, for some reason? or i thought ok, one lie, it could have been a misunderstanding.. he never ever metioned it , its never been spoken about. If i had unjustly accused him of lying, he would have brought it up. But no.

 

The two *girl* stories are so similar.

 

I can see who is at my door, and i wont be answering!!

Edited October 24, 2012 by mishy

[geegirl]

I dont know why i took him back! I think i was so blown away by my ability and luck to uncover this lie that i ended up doubting it, for some reason? or i thought ok, one lie, it could have been a misunderstanding.. he never ever metioned it , its never been spoken about. If i had unjustly accused him of lying, he would have brought it up. But no.

 

You took him back because you didn't want to believe it. You took him back because you were too afraid to let go. We've all been there. The red flags pop up and even with proof, we shut our eyes pretending we never saw.

 

At least you see now and you are strong in your stance. If you identify the pattern, then break it. Do the opposite of what you have been always doing.

[mishy]

You took him back because you didn't want to believe it. You took him back because you were too afraid to let go. We've all been there. The red flags pop up and even with proof, we shut our eyes pretending we never saw.

 

At least you see now and you are strong in your stance. If you identify the pattern, then break it. Do the opposite of what you have been always doing.

 

yes, thats what i did, i just shut my eyes.

 

GG Do you think i should just assume this girl is a lie as well? I don't have evidence, but is it very likely? or am i just in denial about him being with someone?

[geegirl]

yes, thats what i did, i just shut my eyes.

 

GG Do you think i should just assume this girl is a lie as well? I don't have evidence, but is it very likely? or am i just in denial about him being with someone?

 

Does it matter if it's a lie? Does it change the fact that he's rotten all around? Does it matter if he's with another woman now when he was probably with other women when he was with you? What does the lie or the truth change for you?

 

Assume the girl is a lie and it doesn't change what you need to do. Assume the girl is the truth and it doesn't change what you need to do.

 

It could be a lie or it could be the truth. The facts are what remain. He mistreated you for years. That's all you need to know.

 

Don't just focus on "the girl" now. The thing is, there is no way he was being faithful to you for 5 years under the conditions of your dealings with him.

[mishy]

Does it matter if it's a lie? Does it change the fact that he's rotten all around? Does it matter if he's with another woman now when he was probably with other women when he was with you? What does the lie or the truth change for you?

 

Assume the girl is a lie and it doesn't change what you need to do. Assume the girl is the truth and it doesn't change what you need to do.

 

It could be a lie or it could be the truth. The facts are what remain. He mistreated you for years. That's all you need to know.

 

Don't just focus on "the girl" now. The thing is, there is no way he was being faithful to you for 5 years under the conditions of your dealings with him.

 

 

You are right, the end result is all the same, and what i should do is all the same. Do not contact and do not respond if he contacts.

 

Just the fact that i cannot know anything he says is true just adds to all the other things he has done. He is such a cruel person!

 

Part of the reason i am also fixated on whether or not it is a lie, is because on an entirely separate level i am interested personality disorders and the psychological aspect of what makes a person lie.

Edited October 24, 2012 by mishy

[taya]

yes he lied about being away in a nother city working and that he had met a girl at he new job. I don't know why he did that, other than he got some kind of thrill out of it. When we were talking on the phone over the 4 weeks he was *away* there was no feelong that he wanted time away from me or there was an issue, so i dont know why he did it.

 

Naah he hasn't tried to contact me.

 

 

 

wow but this guy is know good wow hes garbage. and everone is right when they say it dosent matter if the girl is real or not the thing is even before this girl came along hes been mistreating you so it dosent matter.

[mishy]

wow but this guy is know good wow hes garbage. and everone is right when they say it dosent matter if the girl is real or not the thing is even before this girl came along hes been mistreating you so it dosent matter.

 

No, it doesnt matter i guess, its just my own curiousity

 

I really want to tell him off. Ofcourse i won't but i feel like it.

[taya]

No, it doesnt matter i guess, its just my own curiousity

 

I really want to tell him off. Ofcourse i won't but i feel like it.

 

hahahaha am like you but hes not even worth even to get mad at

Edited October 24, 2012 by taya

[mishy]

no he's not! you are right

 

to be honest if i saw him i wouldnt know what to say.

[taya]

no he's not! you are right

 

to be honest if i saw him i wouldnt know what to say.

 

lol i wouldent even say a word to him i would act like i dont even know him like i dont even see him like he dont even matter . think about it thats how he treated you right ? so you do the smae

[mishy]

lol i wouldent even say a word to him i would act like i dont even know him like i dont even see him like he dont even matter . think about it thats how he treated you right ? so you do the smae

 

I am still just sad though, and cry about once a day for a few minutes. I barely even remember the first few days of this, i was such a mess.

[Own Worst Enemy]

f*ckwitted face!

 

spill it.

 

then we can add to it...

[mishy]

Everytime you wanted to get close he sealed it with a block -- another woman. That stops you in your tracks. In his mind it was his only way to derail you from trying to get close to him. Even with black and white proof, you went back. He most likely will pull the same pattern again. He'll give you a few months to calm down and forget what happened. Then he'll come back thinking you will once again take him back. Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

I hope that even when he's knocking on your door, you ignore him.

 

You know instead of making up fictitious women, why wouldnt he just say "hey im not interested in anything" Actually he has said that before, those very words, when i have "got too close" ... then come back two months later.

[mishy]

f*ckwitted face!

 

spill it.

 

then we can add to it...

 

i like this.

 

 

 

You %@#$# lying !^%$# i waited for you and all you can do is lie i dont even know who you are, you demented lunatic, i am not yours to come and go as you please go #$%@^ yourself

Edited October 24, 2012 by mishy

[Own Worst Enemy]

but i think you have more anger to release yet. this guy has treated you like a doormat that he has thrown out in the trash and then picked up again when he gets a particular amount of **** on his shoes for FIVE YEARS. he deserves every asterisk your keyboard has!

[mishy]

but i think you have more anger to release yet. this guy has treated you like a doormat that he has thrown out in the trash and then picked up again when he gets a particular amount of **** on his shoes for FIVE YEARS. he deserves every asterisk your keyboard has!

 

****there are not enough asterisks in this world.****

 

It helps to type here and see you awesome people here cheering me on to stay NO CONTACT. It was a bit hard today because i was feeling a lot better physically and mentally, and so i wanted to start texting him questions. I thought i would be able to handle it.

 

I AM SO GLAD I DIDN'T TEXT!!!!!!!!!

[taya]

I am still just sad though, and cry about once a day for a few minutes. I barely even remember the first few days of this, i was such a mess.

 

 

i know how you feel girl i went thru this the everday crying feeling like **** and just the haveing a bad day beacuse of a man . but one of the thing that have help me is when i would feel down or just crying my eyes out i would ask my self this <IS HE CRYING OVER ME >? and i knew the answer to that question i teach my self if hes not doing it FOE ME why should i for him hes doing is thing and liveing his life am going to do the same for me too ...start going out and meet some new guys mama time to stop crying. hes not crying or losing sleep over you so dont do the same for him. let the past be the past now look to the future.

[taya]

****there are not enough asterisks in this world.****

 

It helps to type here and see you awesome people here cheering me on to stay NO CONTACT. It was a bit hard today because i was feeling a lot better physically and mentally, and so i wanted to start texting him questions. I thought i would be able to handle it.

 

I AM SO GLAD I DIDN'T TEXT!!!!!!!!!

 

yeah dont he should be the one to text you to at least see if you ok .it just tells you he dont care but i do think he will text you beacuse as i say before he will regret what he did...stay strong i know its hard but dont text him. your reward at the end will be great keeping your dignity and respect

[mishy]

i know how you feel girl i went thru this the everday crying feeling like **** and just the haveing a bad day beacuse of a man . but one of the thing that have help me is when i would feel down or just crying my eyes out i would ask my self this <IS HE CRYING OVER ME >? and i knew the answer to that question i teach my self if hes not doing it FOE ME why should i for him hes doing is thing and liveing his life am going to do the same for me too ...start going out and meet some new guys mama time to stop crying. hes not crying or losing sleep over you so dont do the same for him. let the past be the past now look to the future.

 

yes you are right. I dont even want to know what he is doing! wont be crying thats for sure