Coffee20 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 like I can't keep any conversation - when I am talking to someone there is almost always something that creates flash backs and then I turned all negative, like I can't talk about anything my bad experience turned into negative rules - like when my abusive fa and my two exes hurt me, every man must be the same, when someone told me something very negative, the next one will do the same, all people are in the end bad etc.... I can be happy without my anti depressants but I can't almost sleep, I wake up at least 6 times per night from the harsh nightmares and I am all sweated I am very suspicious towards everyone I got ill two times and I am ill again now after I get out from my anti depressants, like my body is fighting something that doesn't really exist Things around me are mostly positive and people are not bad at all, but something deep inside me believes that it will end soon, I will do some mistake and it will be bad again. Without those pills I realized I really feel (physically) the pain and what damage is done now, with those pills I was mostly numb, like I forgot the past, now I slowly remember and it hurts, sometimes some really bad thing comes up to my mind like it was yesterday - the thing I thought I forgot Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Are you in therapy? Have they said you have ptsd? I'm so sorry for your pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coffee20 Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 Are you in therapy? Have they said you have ptsd? I'm so sorry for your pain. I am not, but I was talking to my psychiatrist, she wrote me pills for ptsd but I stopped taking them....I still try to be over it without them Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 (edited) I stopped all meds too, and at first, yes...I had insomnia for 29 days. NO sleep at all. It's your body readjusting. I felt numb on the meds and I decided I'd rather feel all the intense emotions rather than none at all. It's a personal choice. But you don't have to go cold turkey either. Maybe some natural remedies? I take passionflower tincture and it helps big time with the anxiety and helps me sleep at least 4-5 hours straight. I still suffer nightmares from abuse that happened to me over 25 years ago. But with time, I don't react as badly to the nightmares, I just accept that it will always be a part of me. It's a long process. Be strong. Edited to add: I was in therapy 9 years. It might be worth your time and money to look into it. Talk and time is the only way to heal, in my own opinion. The meds were just a bandaid for me. Edited October 16, 2012 by River Rain Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this, Coffee........ Your symptoms do sound like PTSD, or even C-PTSD................. I'd like to recommend checking out Pete Walker's website. He's a therapist, who went through C-PTSD himself, and understands it from the inside--his articles are simply amazing---maybe that will help you in your recovery and healing. I'd especially recommend the one on silencing the Inner Critic---the voice that repeats the endless loop of negativity that can keep us stuck. If I can find them again, I'll link them, but it's possible a google search will suffice. edited to add link: http://www.pete-walker.com/pdf/ShrinkingTheCritic.pdf Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Coffee, I'm so sorry you are still struggling. I know you went through a rough time, but I didn't know this type of stuff was happening to you. You are a good and worthwhile person. You will get through this. Self-help books can be wonderful...they really can be. Journaling can be very helpful too. Take care of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts