feeling miserable

[Lynn]

Lately I've been online chatting and this guy that wants me to give out my personal information gets mad when I tell him I'm not comfortable giving it out.Then sometimes in the chat room he will start saying things to other people in the chat room that isnt true about me.That makes me feel so bad.I fear that he will ruin my friendships with the other people.He thinks that hes the only one that has feelings sometimes.He says he's frustrated with me. Then this person that I'm good friends with kind of goes along with him and is more understanding to his feelings then mine.That hurts me.I even admitted I wouldnt chat for awhile until things cooled down.She is only seeing his side of things.I still cant get over the way he snapped at me in the chat room.I think I better stay away for awhile.

 

Lynn

[Tony T]

Lynn:

 

You are beginning to see why cyberspace is NOT like normal space. When you have friends you can see, feel, touch, etc., they stand behind you and respect your privacy and respect the way you see fit to give out your personal information. They stand behind your decisions and support you in every way.

 

In cyberspace, people can be very phony. In this case, they start siding with a guy who possibly could be a mad rapist, a stalker, or just a nasty guy. He has already shown he is the latter and is not worthy of your personal information. A very nice guy may get frustrated if he is really fond of you and wants to get to know you better by calling or writing, but if you tell him you aren't ready to give that out, he will respect your desire for privacy...maybe be hurt just a little...but he will understand.

 

It's a whole new world out there and there are some unsafe people in it now. You can't be careful enough. You are absolutely correct in being very careful how you give out information about yourself.

 

I would suggest to you, if you haven't already, starting an Email account where you can't be traced, such as hotmail, lycos, etc. Just use your search engine to find various free Email account centers. If you want to give out something personal, give out one of these Email accounts for starters and get to know the person. Don't EVER cave in and let anybody press you for any information you don't think is wise to give out. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

 

If you want some suggestions on questions to ask a person online to get to know them a bit better and to get more comfortable with them, copy and paste the following link into your browser:

 

http://online.lovingyou.com/file.shtml?ART=ol-questions

 

You can navigate around this site to find a lot more information about online love. This URL is compliments of Deejette, who sent it to me.

 

Don't let complete strangers you meet online affect the way you feel. Conduct yourself online with the good, common sense you have. You have done everything right and I commend you. Stick to your guns.

 

Being pushed around or bullied by your online friends could get you committed to a mental institution. Tell them that and they stay away from that chat room. There are millions of them on the Internet with many nice people in them.

 

I hope you will spend some time away from the computer looking for love in your own town. The guy for you may even live just a few blocks away.

[Deejette]

Some of those chat rooms become very nasty, I have noticed. They are full of insults and anger and often the meanest people dominate the room. I have found this to be true, even in Philosophy chat rooms. I agree with Tony, real, flesh and blood people that you can see and get to know over time are your best bet for friends.

 

The whole on-line scene has turned into a sad refuge for some people who cannot get on in the real world, hide in their little rooms, and create drama for themselves through the wires. If you actually met some of them you would see them to be the puny little dweebs that they are.

Lynn: You are beginning to see why cyberspace is NOT like normal space. When you have friends you can see, feel, touch, etc., they stand behind you and respect your privacy and respect the way you see fit to give out your personal information. They stand behind your decisions and support you in every way. In cyberspace, people can be very phony. In this case, they start siding with a guy who possibly could be a mad rapist, a stalker, or just a nasty guy. He has already shown he is the latter and is not worthy of your personal information. A very nice guy may get frustrated if he is really fond of you and wants to get to know you better by calling or writing, but if you tell him you aren't ready to give that out, he will respect your desire for privacy...maybe be hurt just a little...but he will understand. It's a whole new world out there and there are some unsafe people in it now. You can't be careful enough. You are absolutely correct in being very careful how you give out information about yourself. I would suggest to you, if you haven't already, starting an Email account where you can't be traced, such as hotmail, lycos, etc. Just use your search engine to find various free Email account centers. If you want to give out something personal, give out one of these Email accounts for starters and get to know the person. Don't EVER cave in and let anybody press you for any information you don't think is wise to give out. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. If you want some suggestions on questions to ask a person online to get to know them a bit better and to get more comfortable with them, copy and paste the following link into your browser:

 

http://online.lovingyou.com/file.shtml?ART=ol-questions

 

You can navigate around this site to find a lot more information about online love. This URL is compliments of Deejette, who sent it to me. Don't let complete strangers you meet online affect the way you feel. Conduct yourself online with the good, common sense you have. You have done everything right and I commend you. Stick to your guns. Being pushed around or bullied by your online friends could get you committed to a mental institution. Tell them that and they stay away from that chat room. There are millions of them on the Internet with many nice people in them. I hope you will spend some time away from the computer looking for love in your own town. The guy for you may even live just a few blocks away.