TommyGirl Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 When someone that broke up with you, calls you and asks you questions like " Do you miss me, do you still think about me, are you over me, didn't I treat you like a queen in the relationship, what does that mean? I only answered the do you miss me question, and I was honest and said yes, and his answer was that he" misses me at times like when I use to act crazy and stuff." I told him to give me a reason for asking the rest of those questions and he couldn't give me one, so I said I don't answer questions like that if they don't have no real meaning behind it. He says I act like I don't need no man and that is the reason he thinks that I might be over him, but he thinks that I might not be over him because I won't answer personal questions about my dating life. Anyways, ex-fiancee, broke up with me about five months ago after moving to go to job, and he said that he needed time to make sure I was the "one" or if I wasn't. He's the only one been calling since then, always inquiring about my personal life, which I only give limited information. I never plead or asked him back and never asked him about his personal life. I do know that he was dating this girl awhile ago, and I don't know if they have broken up or are they still together. I don't know if she is just supercool about him calling me and wanting so badly to be friends because I know him and he is definitely not the cheating type and he would not ask those questions if he had a girlfriend, but I dunno. It's hard for me to believe that he is playing with my feelings because he is not that type of person, but I dunno what he is trying to do. I am always short and polite on the phone and he doesn't understand why I don't discuss my personal life with him, because he likes to compare himself with people. I told him a long time ago that I only want to talk to him every blue moon just for friendly conversation, he wants to be best friends though. Not happening. SO what do you guys think his intentions are, or what is going on his mind for asking those questions? Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I think you're handling this very well. You know you want to get over him, and you're taking steps to do so. So many posters on here languish for long periods of time over lost loves. Then again, it's very hard not to do that; oersonally, I know that I tend to languish. Yeah, its as Faux said one time, "Exes do strange things." Who knows why he's calling? He may miss what he had with you, because he can't find that level of intimacy with another person where he lives now. Or, he may just naturally be jealous. If he can't have you, he may not want any one to have you. Perhaps he feels something along that vein, but is not extreme about it. then again, because you won't answer his questions, he can't react. *shrugs* Anyway, keep being strong. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
kodiak Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 I know how that can be real tough to try to figure out your ex might be thinking and why they say or do the things that they do. My ex broke up with me a little over a month and a half ago. For the first month, i would constantly think about "Why this, Why that". I was going insane. However after stopping all contact with her, i came to one conclusion. She has her reasons for doing what she did. The only way i might ever know is either if we get back together or we become close friends down the road. Dont try to analyze it or figure it out. i knwo it is so hard. There could be hundred reasons why exes do that stuff or just one. Maybe yoru ex truly misses you but is not in the right time in his life to act on it. The bottom line is if he called you in one way or another he misses you. Keep strong Tommygirl and know that thinhgs get better. By not contacting him, he has reached out to you. Read my post under second chances. Give me some advice on my situation if you could too. Take Care Link to post Share on other sites
Philos-opher Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Haha, have u ever thought the guy made up the other girl, i mean, its not like guys dont do that. Maybe he wants to see if u still have feelings for him and if ull get jealous that he's with somebody else. Try this, pressure him to answer some of your own personal questions that you want to know. Let him know that if he answers them honestly, then he will find himself closer to that quote-unquote best-friend relationship between the two. Darn, now im thinking too much about this, but it seems like you should move on, because you really didnt mind that he moved away, and that he said he needed a break. If u cared about him, u would have followed him, and kept in touch with him more often, os i say now, just move on and find another guy, a better guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TommyGirl Posted July 29, 2004 Author Share Posted July 29, 2004 I did want to move with him , we were engaged to be married. He moved with his twin brother because both got the job at the same time. We were going to get married in December of this year, but he wanted to make sure he got up there and got settled before he brought me up there or whatever, and I was also having some family issues too. I was very upset over the break and he knows that, but I'm not a punk and I wasn't about to beg him back, because I feel that once someone makes up their mind, that's it. I expressed to him how I felt and that was the end of that when we first broke up...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author TommyGirl Posted July 30, 2004 Author Share Posted July 30, 2004 Does anyone else have any more advice about this situation?? Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 What do you want to hear, Tommy girl? What is it that you want us to tell you? Link to post Share on other sites
crazyyetsane Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 I think it sounds like misses you and is kind of testing the waters to see if you feel the same. Does he sound hurt when he talks to you, flirtatious, or just friendly? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TommyGirl Posted July 31, 2004 Author Share Posted July 31, 2004 Well...he sounds hurt I guess when he doesn't get the answer that he wants I guess, he appears to be friendly, but I think it's a cover-up. For example, I don't talk about stuff like dealing with the relationship, but I do be enthused to talk about general stuff, but he doesn't though. I just don't get that....he said he wanted to be friends, and that's what I give him. Link to post Share on other sites
kodiak Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Tommygirl As you read and replied to my post "ex called, need some advice" you see that exes sometimes act and do the weiredest things. As far as the friend stuff goes i know exactly what you mean. My ex was very upset at first when i said i wanted to not be friends. She acted as if it was the end of the world. I told her that i want to not loose all communication with me but it is hard so we would try our best to work on it. Well that was a month or so ago. she has only contacted me 1 time since then. I dont feel as if that is being friends, especially when you call them too see how they are doing and they ignore you. Basically you have no idea what is going on in your exes head. Dont try to figure it out because most likely it will be so far off from the actually truth. You know? I think the most jacked up stuff which was part of the reason my relationship ended. You cant figure it out!!! Anyways if i read your post right it seems like you contact him because he wants a friendship. Try not too for a couple days or weeks or so and see what happens. It wont make a difference in the long run if you to work things out or not. See if you notice a change in his actions or his excitement to hear from you and talk to you. Let me know,take care Link to post Share on other sites
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