JustSomeGuy1 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 (edited) Since this is my first post.. I guess I'll just try and explain my whole situation. I'm 17 Male, London, England. Since I was about 7, I've been bullied... Beaten up, people take the piss out of me, I'm not treated like anyone would want to be treated and it still goes on today. I spent my entire secondary school life worrying that people were going to run up behind me and beat me up. When I was in year 7 (First year of secondary) I was made to move classes because the bullying was so bad, my dad left and I don't see him very much at all and he doesn't care about me... When I was 14 my sister passed away and that hit my quite hard and it pushed my dad further away too... My mum gets ill fairly often so I have to take care of the house and my two litter brothers (They're both 14)... I can't take the pressure much anymore. I started my first year at college and things got A LOT better.. The bullying stopped and I finally felt accepted, I had friends but then it kind of deteriorated. I had friends but I was the lowest in the friend group, they all took the piss out of me and I was always made fun of.. If anyone was annoyed or whatever, they always take it out on me... subsequently I ended up flunking my first year and I dropped out. I have now started a new college where I don't fit in much again.. I don't talk to many people at all, and the days I don't go to school I go to work to earn money.. so I don't have much free time really... I just feel really depressed and I think I've got a social anxiety disorder because I always think people are laughing and starring at me when I'm walking down the street or through college and I hate it... I have no self confidence or self esteem to do anything.... I don't know where to turn anymore. Now, I know that all of you will probably tell me I need to get professional help or to talk to a doctor... just I can't. I really really want to become a Grenadier Guard in the British Army... So, If I go to a doctor or a therapist or something... It's gonna go down on my medical record and they won't let me join.. I can't jeopardise myself doing what I really want to do. So, if you could suggest anything else I'll be truly grateful. Edited October 16, 2012 by JustSomeGuy1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustSomeGuy1 Posted October 17, 2012 Author Share Posted October 17, 2012 ... Anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 ... Anyone? Start lifting weights and when you're bigger knock out the next person who takes the piss out of you. Both of these things will give you a lot more confidence, and people will be a lot less likely to pick on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustSomeGuy1 Posted October 17, 2012 Author Share Posted October 17, 2012 Start lifting weights and when you're bigger knock out the next person who takes the piss out of you. Both of these things will give you a lot more confidence, and people will be a lot less likely to pick on you. Not to be rude, but this is the most impractical advice you could give. Why would I want to lower myself to their level ? Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Not to be rude, but this is the most impractical advice you could give. Why would I want to lower myself to their level ? Sticking up for yourself isn't lowering yourself to their level, you aren't doing the same thing as what they're doing. But fine, just let them carry on bullying you then. Link to post Share on other sites
TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Since this is my first post.. I guess I'll just try and explain my whole situation. I'm 17 Male, London, England. Since I was about 7, I've been bullied... Beaten up, people take the piss out of me, I'm not treated like anyone would want to be treated and it still goes on today. I spent my entire secondary school life worrying that people were going to run up behind me and beat me up. When I was in year 7 (First year of secondary) I was made to move classes because the bullying was so bad, my dad left and I don't see him very much at all and he doesn't care about me... When I was 14 my sister passed away and that hit my quite hard and it pushed my dad further away too... My mum gets ill fairly often so I have to take care of the house and my two litter brothers (They're both 14)... I can't take the pressure much anymore. I started my first year at college and things got A LOT better.. The bullying stopped and I finally felt accepted, I had friends but then it kind of deteriorated. I had friends but I was the lowest in the friend group, they all took the piss out of me and I was always made fun of.. If anyone was annoyed or whatever, they always take it out on me... subsequently I ended up flunking my first year and I dropped out. I have now started a new college where I don't fit in much again.. I don't talk to many people at all, and the days I don't go to school I go to work to earn money.. so I don't have much free time really... I just feel really depressed and I think I've got a social anxiety disorder because I always think people are laughing and starring at me when I'm walking down the street or through college and I hate it... I have no self confidence or self esteem to do anything.... I don't know where to turn anymore. Now, I know that all of you will probably tell me I need to get professional help or to talk to a doctor... just I can't. I really really want to become a Grenadier Guard in the British Army... So, If I go to a doctor or a therapist or something... It's gonna go down on my medical record and they won't let me join.. I can't jeopardise myself doing what I really want to do. So, if you could suggest anything else I'll be truly grateful. I've been bullied most of my life too. It's hard, I know. You have added pressure and experiences I've never dealt with, such as your sister's passing, which I'm very sorry you had to go through, but I'll explain what I did and perhaps it might help. People pick on others who are, in some way, different. Could be any way, just needs to be significant enough to make a difference. For me, it was probably my "banter." I'm very introverted, I guess you are too, and I did not share the same world view as my classmates because of how I was raised, the things I'd experienced in my life to that point etc. But I tried to fit in, so I attempted to join in with their banter while they were joking around and I was awful at it. To the point I made myself a target for them. And it only got worse and worse as the semester went on. By Christmas I was on the verge of leaving. I loved what I was studying, but they took the piss out of my clothes, my weight, my mannerisms, the subjects I talked about, the things I liked, everything they could. They scrutinised everything and found fault with all of it and I felt like a very, very low version of a human being. I did, once or twice, have a few dark thoughts, too. After Christmas I found I couldn't leave. I was looking forward to my studies, and no matter how much I dreaded my class, I knew if I left I'd be missing out on something I really enjoyed. So I ignored them. I said nothing to them, never again attempted to join in with their discussions. I instead found a few like minded people, people who were ostracised as I was, and spent time with them when I wasn't working. It was better. The people bullying you do not understand "social anxiety disorder." They don't deal with it in their lives and its probably something akin to leprosy for them. They were raised in a different way, in a different background, and have probably always been of the opinion that people like yourself are strange, only because you don't share the same outlook. If I were you I wouldn't try and make friends with them because they'll never understand and they'll never be sympathetic. Choose to ignore them and get on with your work/studies. You might find, somewhere down the line, like-minded people who will understand and sympathise. And then you'll realise you didn't those arseholes anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Since this is my first post.. I guess I'll just try and explain my whole situation. I'm 17 Male, London, England. Since I was about 7, I've been bullied... Beaten up, people take the piss out of me, I'm not treated like anyone would want to be treated and it still goes on today. I spent my entire secondary school life worrying that people were going to run up behind me and beat me up. When I was in year 7 (First year of secondary) I was made to move classes because the bullying was so bad, my dad left and I don't see him very much at all and he doesn't care about me... When I was 14 my sister passed away and that hit my quite hard and it pushed my dad further away too... My mum gets ill fairly often so I have to take care of the house and my two litter brothers (They're both 14)... I can't take the pressure much anymore. I started my first year at college and things got A LOT better.. The bullying stopped and I finally felt accepted, I had friends but then it kind of deteriorated. I had friends but I was the lowest in the friend group, they all took the piss out of me and I was always made fun of.. If anyone was annoyed or whatever, they always take it out on me... subsequently I ended up flunking my first year and I dropped out. I have now started a new college where I don't fit in much again.. I don't talk to many people at all, and the days I don't go to school I go to work to earn money.. so I don't have much free time really... I just feel really depressed and I think I've got a social anxiety disorder because I always think people are laughing and starring at me when I'm walking down the street or through college and I hate it... I have no self confidence or self esteem to do anything.... I don't know where to turn anymore. Now, I know that all of you will probably tell me I need to get professional help or to talk to a doctor... just I can't. I really really want to become a Grenadier Guard in the British Army... So, If I go to a doctor or a therapist or something... It's gonna go down on my medical record and they won't let me join.. I can't jeopardise myself doing what I really want to do. So, if you could suggest anything else I'll be truly grateful. If you go through a psyche test and you are affected by this bullying then they will be able to determine that if you are suitable or not i dont know if the guard in the army you are talking about carries weaponry....but defense positions and security clearance follow strict psyche protocol.....i have a childhood that included abuse and isolation I managed to get through psyche testing without being deemed unsuitable for the navy......but then i am a bit of anomaly....i have a certain way of dealing with things.....I try to find the positives with everything that has happened to me and I have prayed since i was little for guidance and help to get through things.....God seems to listen to me....and i thank him for that everyday....even when things are crap for me.....I try not to hold grudges i just cant it makes me unhappy.....I feel that you should not join until you have dealt with these issues.....if you don't want to go to a doctor try meditation reflection find some positives with what has happened what made you more understanding empathic and compassionate to others maybe....what made you want to defend others and take on guard role...focus on these heightened senses of support and wanting to protect you have.... pray because you will need his help if you want to forgive and forget so you can be the best person you can be whether or not that is as a guard.....or protecting others being an advocate for the zero tolerance with bullying behaviour......be an example to the kids growing up behind your seventeen years show them hey i can do it , you can do it.....become a big brother to a child who has no big brother i am sure they do i tin britain...this is all therapy without a doctors certificate....i wish you the best.....and i pray and hope your dreams of becoming a guard come true...deb... Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustSomeGuy1 Posted October 20, 2012 Author Share Posted October 20, 2012 Thank you to the both of you. TheUnthoughtKnown: It's just that I don't really enjoy my studies that much anyway.. The only thing keeping me there is the fact I don't want to end up with no education and have no way of getting a job.. I don't like the course, the teachers or my class mates. It's tough to go in every day.. I have nothing in my life that I really enjoy doing right now.. todreaminblue: The Grenadier Guards are frontline soldiers in Afghan right now for the British army, they are also the guards you'll see outside Buckingham Palace in the red/grey tunics.. They handle weaponry every day no matter what they're do.. You have to do a full physce and medical history check - if they see I went to a doctor about it, they'd refuse... Also, the big brother thing you spoke about - as far as I'm aware we have nothing like that over here Link to post Share on other sites
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