Can't get a girl, working too long, very bitter...

[chilleds]

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Hello - My first post ;-)!

 

Well, here goes my story:

 

I'm 19, I left school at 16 - I am work about 70 hrs a week, earn almost nothing (i'm self-employed trying to get somewhere in life!) - I have lost contact with almost everyone I know apart from family - I don't like socialising with them because they are oppinionated, condesending people (To put it politely)! I have never had a girlfriend and am really starting to miss not having someone close that I can talk to and love - my only love at the moment it my lovely dog. I don't trust anyone I know because they all talk, even when I ask for them to keep something private - they still talk about it!!

 

I have a strange personality, I can talk to customers, male or female with no problems, however, when it comes to being at the gym or something, talking to girls is more difficult.

 

Also, I've been brought up well, I love my family very much - I just can't trust them - My old friends, which i've pretty much lost contact with only call me when they need something, it's really anoying - if you look at it from the other view, I never call them cos I'm always working - What do I do??

 

I need to get out more, and see some people!

 

I can't stand the business I'm in, I've just kept up what I'm doing cos I'm good at it - otherwise I would of been out of this along time ago - it's very very stressful - especially as I'm not being paying myself much and i'm doing everything myself.

 

I'm also very bitter at some family and some friends from how they treated me in the past, another reason I don't like socialising with them - I'm not sure whether to forget the past or not?

 

Idealy, I'd like to move business to another country and forget about every single person I know, and start off on a freash page - however, business ain't making enough money yet (it's a portable business).

 

I don't believe I'm writing this - I've never told anyone what I think of life - that reminds me, also, I'm a very private person - I only talk openly to people I trust (or this forum). Also - I don't like being asked questions, like I'll get home from work, and they'll say 'how was work?' 'what did you do?' and a million other questions - when I get home, I want my business to be out of conversation - i've told my parents that before, so I get asked fewer questions, but they just don't get it - and sometimes I get angry, very irritated when I get asked questions - as I see it, my life is my life, and everyone else should stay out of it. I think it's cos I'm very bitter, very very bitter with some family + friends.

 

Anyway - what do I do ?

 

Thx,

chilleds

 

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[xeon124]

Let go of the past man. It sounds like you have some issues you should resolve before clinging onto a girl anyway.

 

Also, if you want to meet a girl, you need to socialize. Albiet on-line or off-line. Have you ever triend a place like eharmony.com? Maybe even picking up an activity where there are a lot of females and it is almost nessacary to talk to them.

 

I hope these suggestions help.

 

Good luck with everything.

[foxxyy1313]

Ok, well first off, working 70 hours a week is probably the biggest concern I have. I feel that it is the root of most of your issues that you brought up. When you said that you are annoyed with your parents asking you a bunch of questions... mostly about work, what do you expect? If your eat, breath, and sleep your job, then they really don't have much more to ask about, right? I'm sure that after working so many long hours, you don't go running to go out and do stuff, you probably go home and relax. After awhile, there really isn't much to talk about your life after work if it mainly consists of hanging out at home. I know that I am just assuming that this is what your day consists of, but just go with me here.

 

As for finding a girlfriend.. well, take it from me, most girls need and want LOTS of attention. If they we don't get it we begin to feel like you aren't interested or left out. Working that much won't leave you much time to give a woman what she most desires... TIME with you. If you don't have the time to give, then you can't expect to have a woman want to be a part time girlfriend.

 

And since you said that you don't like your job, then why the heck are you working your self to death for it then? Are you trying to dig yourself an early grave? There is no reason for you to be working so hard.. especially if your not making money at it. I would suggest going to college and trying to work something out in your favor. There is no reason to bend over backwards just to make money or just to be able to say that you own your own business. Life isn't about who has the most money. I've learned the hard way that it isn't worth it. Yes, it's nice to know that you have money saved up, or you have money coming in.. etc, but there are so many more important things that outweigh needing to have money.

 

Hope this helps!

[blue17]

working 70 hours a week is way too much dude! I think the most someone can work and still sustain a regular life would be like 50-60...and even that's pushing it. You should look into taking some high school courses at home...they have those now. (Im assuming you didn't finish high school since you left at 16). Take some high school courses by correspondence, cut down some hours on your job...and you'll have more interest and things to do. Once you have your high school degree....you have many more options for jobs. You'll be making more money, just based on the fact that you have that certificate. You will be able to make whatever money you are making now, but with less hours. You could work maybe 40 hours a week, and maybe take a couple college night school classes during the week. 40 hours of work + 5-10 hours of class still leaves you with a lot of time to hang out and relax from work. You also meet people through night school. It's a chance to make new friends, and get together with some ppl, and maybe find a gf. Good luck.