blugirl Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 Why did he read your private messages?! I would never do that to my partner and I know he wouldn't read mine, not because there's nothing to hide, but it's still an invasion of privacy. Cause he's a bit insecure about himself and a bit jealous of me but I like it that he's jealous cause my ex wasn't jealous about me at all, was totally taking me for granted, which was pissing me off. So I enjoy the fact that someone is jealous about me now ))) Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Chrissy Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 What's your opinion on this : )) ? Do you share these information's with each other if not why not Where would you drive line on sharing ? Mine would be : If someone got nothing to hide why fear it. Yes I do F B and Email he has Mine as well. Banking Info its my NO NO he knows that and respects it although he teases me he has no problem giving me his but I politely refused it ... I personally have myboyfriend's passwords for email(s), Xbox live accounts, different forum accounts, youtube accounts. I don't have his Facebook account because 1 I would be to tempted to read his messages just because I'm bored. I know he would give me his Fb password if I asked, but I don't really care that much since he tells me when a girls hits on him or something along those lines. My Boyfriend on the other hand has all my passwords. He has my FB but I don't think he realizes it. I think it's ok for a couple to share passwords as long as there are boundaries set i.e don't read messages, don't do it without asking ect. But never share passwords if all you want to do is find something to get mad at. Looking for trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted October 20, 2012 Author Share Posted October 20, 2012 I guess no one does look for anything to get mad at people simply find stuff their s/o had hidden on purpose or not shared with them then get mad ... Link to post Share on other sites
blugirl Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Well, I know I wouldn't like his passwords for FB or email because it's a given that whatever I'd read, I'd always misunderstand in a wrong way because I'd lack context and wouldn't know whether my SO was just joking or really meaning what he was saying to other person in a personal message/email so it would be looking for pointless trouble, since I'm a bit jealous type. Been there, done that :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 :laugh: I know what you mean blue girl are you Scorpio as well ? Link to post Share on other sites
pettie Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Unless it was for/because practical reasons (as some of the posters above stated), I wouldn't request his / wouldn't give mine. It's been like this in every relationship I've been. I think that, even as a couple, we are still two separate individuals and have our own personal space. This doesn't mean we have something to hide. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 Some of us speak like they have never had or experienced doubt in other its most interesting thing ... Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 (edited) If my partner read my private messages without asking me first and without good reason I'd feel he was being sneaky, it would also mean he doesn't trust me 100%. No-one wants to be spied on. I understand what you're saying but we shouldn't need to feel our partner is jealous for us to feel they care. Cause he's a bit insecure about himself and a bit jealous of me but I like it that he's jealous cause my ex wasn't jealous about me at all, was totally taking me for granted, which was pissing me off. So I enjoy the fact that someone is jealous about me now ))) Edited October 22, 2012 by HeavenOrHell Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 (edited) Insecurity isn't just a Scorpio thing I've had my fair share of feeling insecure especially as my partner isn't very demonstrative when we're apart, especially in the early days when he was still emotionally close to his ex and she was staying at his every weekend and sharing his bed still, not for sex, just out of habit and because she suffered nightmares, she is very child like, they were both very naive about where to draw the boundaries once they split up and he was with me, I knew he wouldn't cheat on me, but I wasn't happy with how close they still were, all three of us are unconventional but sleeping in the same bed was too much! I told him I wasn't happy and it improved and in the end she moved away, they talk online/phone, don't know how often, I don't ask, not really my business, no reason he or I should stop contact with our ex's if we still love them as friends. I did have have access to his gmail and fb as I was using his computer but there's no way I would've looked at his private messages, I wouldn't betray his trust like that, I felt no need to read anything, and I already know he has female friends he's been quite close to for years, I also know it's me he wants to be with and not them. Private messages are personal. In that case you are very blessed : ))) but alas some of us are just hopeless suspicions doubtful worry warts Scorpios like me ... Edited October 22, 2012 by HeavenOrHell Link to post Share on other sites
pettie Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Some of us speak like they have never had or experienced doubt in other its most interesting thing ... It's totally unnatural not to experience doubts at least once while you are in a relationship. As it has been said above, if my SO was spying my everymove, demanding to have my passwords (ie-reading my emails and PMs), it would mean that he didn't trust me and as a result, *I* wouldn't trust him. It is a potencial source of unwanted discussions. Why would we even bother to conduct a very long distance relationship (or any relationship, for that matter), if we are constantly "looking for proof he/she is cheating"? Is everybody assumed guilty until proved the contrary? Unless he/she gives you a real, concrete reason to lose trust, then why do it? It's not healthy. This doesn't mean I am being naïve. I know and had seen cases first-hand, in where a person in what it was a supposedly happy relationship, discovered the other was cheating when reading the other emails or PMs. But still, unless it was an extreme situation, I wouldn't go and read them (ie-taking the divorce to the courts, with children involved or something like that). Nonetheless, I totally see your point. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but, from my perspective, to be able to check the other private messages, is to add unnecessary stress to an otherwise healthy and normal relationship. There are always flags, there is always some previous history and something not working in the relationship, that later might lead to cheating. I don't think I've been cheated on in the past, and if I have, I'm happy I didn't find out. Break ups were never in grounds of lost trust. Link to post Share on other sites
blugirl Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 :laugh: I know what you mean blue girl are you Scorpio as well ? No, Saggitarius If my partner read my private messages without asking me first and without good reason I'd feel he was being sneaky, it would also mean he doesn't trust me 100%. No-one wants to be spied on. I understand what you're saying but we shouldn't need to feel our partner is jealous for us to feel they care. I have have to agree that nobody wants to be spied on and it could mean he doesn't trust me 100% (although he said twice he does). I will think about what you've said, thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 It's totally unnatural not to experience doubts at least once while you are in a relationship. As it has been said above, if my SO was spying my everymove, demanding to have my passwords (ie-reading my emails and PMs), it would mean that he didn't trust me and as a result, *I* wouldn't trust him. It is a potencial source of unwanted discussions. Why would we even bother to conduct a very long distance relationship (or any relationship, for that matter), if we are constantly "looking for proof he/she is cheating"? Is everybody assumed guilty until proved the contrary? Unless he/she gives you a real, concrete reason to lose trust, then why do it? It's not healthy. This doesn't mean I am being naïve. I know and had seen cases first-hand, in where a person in what it was a supposedly happy relationship, discovered the other was cheating when reading the other emails or PMs. But still, unless it was an extreme situation, I wouldn't go and read them (ie-taking the divorce to the courts, with children involved or something like that). Nonetheless, I totally see your point. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but, from my perspective, to be able to check the other private messages, is to add unnecessary stress to an otherwise healthy and normal relationship. There are always flags, there is always some previous history and something not working in the relationship, that later might lead to cheating. I don't think I've been cheated on in the past, and if I have, I'm happy I didn't find out. Break ups were never in grounds of lost trust. I love your post : ))) Link to post Share on other sites
NewPerspective93 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 No, it creates a disconnection of trust. If one has something to hide, they're not right for you IF they don't discuss said latent thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 That is true that they are not for you but as many times here has been said sometimes people are just to good at lying and hiding and its impossible to figure that out until its to late ... Link to post Share on other sites
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