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I'M REALLY DESPERATE! MY BOYFRIEND IS REALLY SELFISH AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I HAVE TALK TO HIM 1,000 OF TIMES AND IS LIKE HE HEARS BUT DONT DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE IT. WE ARE IN A BREAK THAT WAS MY IDEA BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT THIS WAY HE WILL FEEL THAT HE COULD LOSE ME AND WAKE UP AND EXPRES HIS FEELINGS BUT HE IS VERY QUIET ABOUT THEM I KNOW HE LOVES ME BUT SOMETIMES HE PISSES ME OFF SO BAD THAT I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ... AND HE FELT AWFUL WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT I WANTED A BREAK AND FOR A LITTLE BIT SHOW ME THAT HE DO LOVES ME A LOT AND DON'T WANT TO SEE ME GONE BUT WHEN HE REALISES THAT IM GOING TO BE WITH HIM AGAIN HE GOES BACK TO BE THE SAME... I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ANY MORE AND THE PROBLEM IS THAT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH..I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. OTHER THING THAT BOTHERS ME IS THAT HE TELLS ME THE GREATES THING THAT WE WILL GO TO THIS PLACE AND DO THIS AND THAT AND LATER HE CHANGE THE PLANS AND GETS MAD AT ME BECAUSE I SAID SOMETHING THEN HE BLOCKS HIM SELF AND JUST GO MAD... I REALLY NEED HELP I NEED SOMEONE THAT TELLS ME WHAT I CAN DO. I REALLY LOVES HIM AND I WANT TO DEMOSTRATE HIM THAT IF HE REALLY LOVES ME HE WILL OPEN HIS FEELINGS FOR ME AND TREAT ME RIGHT... PLEASE SOMBODY TELL ME WHAT CAN I DO???

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TrueSmiles12

wow, you sound exactly like me about 2 months ago.. i had the same problems you are describing with my boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend). now of course i can't tell you what to do, but i do understand u need some sort of advice or guidance..

 

quote: "MY BOYFRIEND IS REALLY SELFISH AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT."

exactly.. u can't do anything about it.. i've learned that while you may love that person for who and what they are, there are some qualities that you just don't agree with and those are the things you can't change.. and it sucks.

 

i, too, took a break from him thinking that he would realize things more and maybe make some changes, but nothing changed. things for us were static for so long, but while i was waiting for him to take initiative and make those changes, nothing could bring him to do such. all i did was love him so much only to believe for so long that things would get better and when they didn't, i only got more disappointed and more hurt. it wasn't like he was purposely hurting me, but the lack of action and care he brought to the relationship hurt a lot. u can love him to your wits end, but u can only take so much frustration. u deserve to be happy and i knew that i deserved to be happy too. all i wanted was to be happy with him, together.

 

i wish i could tell you what to do, because at the time, i wish someone told me what to do before i got my heart broken. i wasn't happy with him and as much as i loved him, i just wasn't happy with our situation. and neither was he. we loved each other so much but there was just something standing in the way of our happiness together.

 

have u thought about breaking up with him? not playing games with him, but doing it for yourself??

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Out of curiosity TrueSmiles,

 

How did you know whether or not your boyfriend had changed? I am currently in a situation where my boyfriend broke up with me because I have some things to change. I realize what these things are and I know that I am more than willing and able to change them. The only problem is, he has asked that we not speak because it it too hard right now, so how am I supposed to show him that I have changed if we have not spoken to or seen each other in a month?

 

Thanks

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