grkBoy Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Been having a small battle with my fiancee today. We were invited to a wedding that will take place tonight (Friday). I'm stuck between the conundrum of being the "bad friend" if I don't go, but my fiancee just started a new job and honestly doesn't have any PTO she can use for this day. So I had written on the RSVP that we would be late because of work. My own job is very busy right now and the best I could do is get off on time (5 PM), which is when the reception starts. The reception takes place 45 min away from my home in the suburbs, and it's raining, and it's rush hour traffic near the airport. My feeling was to show up late, not expect dinner, have a few drinks, leave a wedding gift, be sociable, etc. Realistically it'll take me an hour to get home from downtown, change, then probably another hour to get there. I don't expect to get to this until probably just after dinner. Now today my fiancee ended up having some patients cancel and she got out of work early, but is giving me flack because I can't leave early...claiming it's very rude to show up late, and even suggesting we don't go. I feel like we RSVPed and it would be rude to blow it off. Am I missing something here? Is it such a crime against humanity to show up late, even when you said in the RSVP you would be? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Now today my fiancee ended up having some patients cancel and she got out of work early, but is giving me flack because I can't leave early...claiming it's very rude to show up late, and even suggesting we don't go. I feel like we RSVPed and it would be rude to blow it off. Am I missing something here? Is it such a crime against humanity to show up late, even when you said in the RSVP you would be? IMO, it'd be better to show up late instead of not showing up at all, especially if you wrote that on the RSVP card. Since it's a Friday night, I'm sure you're not the only ones having logistical problems. I personally think it would be worse to not show up at all. You're probably included in the head count, even if you might be missing dinner. My wedding was last week, so you can take this as fresh personal experience - last minute cancellations from people who either didn't plan ahead or who just find it inconvenient to go hurt more than tardiness, especially after you've already paid for everything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Making the effort to attend, regardless of your necessary tardy is the way to go. The invite was extended because your friendship is valued. Showing up to acknowledge the marriage and participate in the celebration is what is important. Have fun, no need for long explanations about why you are late. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 Get there when you can. It's a risk folk take when they choose a weekday, don't sweat it, they'll be glad you attend at all. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 It would be worse to not show up than show up late. They are expecting you to be late for legitimate reasons and are probably happy you can make it at all. I know I was mad when people changed their minds last minute not to go after rsvping that they could attend. It costs the couple quite a bit of money per head when you rsvp. So unless you have an emergency, go to the wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
Author grkBoy Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 We went. My fiancee was reluctant and felt it was "rude"...but we arrived in the middle of dinner, so we got to eat. We had fun, and the bride was just overjoyed that we made it. I also mentioned to my fiancee that a chunk of the guests are people we're inviting to OUR WEDDING next year, so she kind of finally "figured it out" why I was willing to go through the trouble. I felt it would just be wrong to blow it off and then especially worse to invite these very people to your own wedding next year. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Nice update. Glad you arrived mid dinner and that your presence was appreciated. Your long term assessment is spot on. Link to post Share on other sites
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