I have a crush on my friend but she has a bf.

[knight_begins]

Get this - I always liked this girl Sarah who has a bf. I really like spending time with her and it appears like she feels the same way as friends. The fact that she has a bf it made it easier for me to not think about her all the time. Theres another girl Im interested in but its not going so well and for the past couple of weeks my feelings for Sarah have returned. I think about her more now and want to be around her more.

 

I dont know if she still has a boyfriend because I knew she had one like 3 months ago and I heard recently she got in an argument with him. thats why she seemed a little upset a few weeks ago. We enjoy each others friendships and she doesnt have a clue that i like her. She always asks about my progress with the other girl Ive been trying to date and says she wants to kick that girls ass because shes not showing much interest in me. At lunch along with our friends, I tell them some girls I find attractive. Sarah always says something negative about them or calls them ugly.

 

I want to drop hints that I like her. I still dont know if shes with her bf or anything. Maybe theres a way I can ask her? I want to show her that Im moving on from that other girl. She suggested I should move on and she does seem to care about my well being. I like that about her. Shes like "you need to sleep more... stop drinking too many sodas... you need to go out and have more fun" and things like that.

 

However I noticed we spend more time together than the rest of the group at work. We usually sit right next to each other or infront of each other. We talk together more and I do small things for her now like she asked me to bring her a glass of water. We joke around alot as well. I remember when we first met, our other friend was talking about gay men and how many of them are pretty. Sarah agreed. Being the big jokester that I am I told her I'm pretty too. She disagreed. She admitted Im not ugly but that I wasnt pretty. Think she was using pretty as them being attractive in a feminine way. I joke around saying she has called me ugly in the past but shes denies it ever happening. She has jokingly called me other things like being depressed and stuff.

 

Truthfully I don't know the purpose of writing this. There is nothing that I can do but I can't stop thinking about her. I have been considering quitting my job in the upcoming weeks but the reason i havent done so is primarily because of her. If I quit my job I will no longer see her. It does not help that we are very different. Shes more outgoing while I am not. How can I get over her? Should I hint that I like her?

Edited October 20, 2012 by knight_begins

[kae]

she likes you. i dont know what you should do. I was in a situation with a guy like this and i did quit my job but after that he went cold. now i think im the girl he talks about with someone else at work

 

people are fickle. they forget.

 

but does she likes you..

[kae]

*but she does like you*

[knight_begins]

I don't think she is. I haven't noticed any flirting. Then again I am terrible at noticing things.

[knight_begins]

At the usual lunch at work with friends, she mentioned something very interesting. She showed me something on her phone and I said "that's it? you're a weirdo." She replied saying "ok I admit to being a little weird." And I said "ha, not a little, very weird!"

 

Then for some reason she said out of no where "I bet if I was quiet, weird and didnt say anything at all you would like me more." I liked a girl that was extremely shy in the past and I mentioned it to her. I told her "Who said I only like quiet girls?"

 

I don't know but it was pretty cool. One thing is certain - we are very good friends and I like this. I really wish we were more than that and Im not going to lie - it will be harder to move on because of that. None of this is going to interfere with our friendship because again she has a bf.

[knight_begins]

Yeah I'm the worst at reading females. She playfully slaps the arms of people when joking around and such. So it's not just me she does that and thats okay. I already know she doesn't like him at all. I wouldn't say shes flirting with them. But I have noticed she definitely likes sitting next to me all the time. She saw our mutual friend's sweater on the chair next to me (our other mutual put it there) and Sarah asked who was sitting there because she wanted to sit next to me.

 

Any who, I still like her very much. Another thing I noticed is the way she wants to portray herself. She knows I'm a lonewolf and that I don't go out much. She now claims to not do much either which I find odd because she is always giving me advice to have fun and hang out with people. But now she's apparently becoming similar although she did say she goes out sometimes.

 

I'm overthinking I know but she is pretty awesome and I truly enjoy spending every moment with her. She still doesn't talk about her boyfriend at all. I haven't asked though. I don't want her to think I like her at least not yet. I don't want to make things awkward.

[whichwayisup]

Don't say a word to her about how you feel while she has a boyfriend. it's pointless and a sure way of ruining your friendship with her, let alone you'll be putting her in an uncomfortable position as she has a boyfriend!

 

Go on with your life. If they break up, and some time has gone by, THEN talk to her..Until then, don't say a word.

[Nik1]

Go on with your life. If they break up, and some time has gone by, THEN talk to her..Until then, don't say a word.

**** that, get on that **** like white on rice. My gf ****ed my best friend within a week of our break up and I'm doing just fine.

 

Well, I need to go sight-in this new scope for my rifle and check the prices on a bus to Vegas now.

[NateC]

Don't say a word to her about how you feel while she has a boyfriend. it's pointless and a sure way of ruining your friendship with her, let alone you'll be putting her in an uncomfortable position as she has a boyfriend!

 

Go on with your life. If they break up, and some time has gone by, THEN talk to her..Until then, don't say a word.

 

This, absolutely. I've learned this with a friend of mine who I crushed on for a while but got over it since she had a bf already. They broke up for like a week then got back together ...and that was because of me since she talked to me about it (as in, called me crying) and it got her through it while her bf finally got his head straight and realized the mistake.

 

So...lesson from that: be her friend and someone she can go to. Don't overdue it and become her lapdog or something, but just be her friend. It could work out if they break up; but you won't know if you damage the friendship by attempting to barge in on the current relationship.

[rn0408]

**** that, get on that **** like white on rice. My gf ****ed my best friend within a week of our break up and I'm doing just fine.

 

Well, I need to go sight-in this new scope for my rifle and check the prices on a bus to Vegas now.

 

Sounds like your best friend and her are trash.

[rn0408]

Knight_Begins, I'm dealing with a issue as well with a girl in my class (and a psycho chasing me telling people she wants me to marry her and have a kid with her). She has a real bad boyfriend, one who embarassed her infront of the class..She did the usual "how old do you think I am." question and playfully hit me. When I walk into the classroom her face lights up when she sees me. I have to deal with that (she is real nice, and I'm not looking...I would never date a pushover..dealt with one before and I would rather have somebody who's secure, strong, conservative, and independent..and no ink on their body!).

 

I would rather be friends with her. It's obvious she's dating a loser, and may be a pushover because she can't stand up for yourself. Shes trying to find a scapegoat for a new date because her attraction level is really low on him..and is trying to convince herself there are more people out there for her and she can do better (she is probably taking advice from friends).

[knight_begins]

If I wanted to know if she likes me, what can I do to get a general idea? I really want to know just for the sake of knowing.

 

By the by, she has now given me a nickame. She met up and she randomly called me "Jeffreypooh." Jeff is obviously my name. Could this mean anything? That sounds like a name you would give to someone who is very special and someone you truly care about. She has given another mutual a nickname but its just that, a nickname. For instance, she calls our friend Vanessa as 'V'. That nickname doesn't mean much but mine does.

 

There really isn't anythign I can do but should I try to win her over and impress her? Maybe when she ends up breaking up with her boyfriend I'll be able to date her. I'm not going to convince her to break up with her boyfriend but I'm just saying when she becomes single. I'm not going to go out of my way or anything. If I can meet another girl that I become interested in, cool. But no matter what, I'll still have a huge thing for Sarah.

 

It's funny because Sarah has said to our mutuals her thing is my ethnicity. She didn't specifically mention me of course, she simply said the ethnicity. Plus she has told me she doesn't like anyone of the same ethnicity as hers because they are too predictable. Guess what? I am extremely unpredictable. The way I dress is unique, my personality is goofy, I'm a huge nerd, I'm weird, and I'm kinda smart (although I don't have street smarts at all). She knows all of this. She always laughs when I do or say something unpredictable. Especially when an obvious sexual related joke is said and I don't get it until they point it out.

 

Funny thing is, we don't even have each other's numbers. I don't want to ask her because she might think I like her. I don't want her to think that I like her all of a sudden because things didn't work out between me and some other girl I got rejected by recently (to be honest I lost interest in that girl but Sarah always gave me advice to keep trying and always wanted to know my progress with that girl. When I told her I lost interest in that girl she told me I shouldn't try but I still did because thats the only way I can move on from Sarah while she is in a relationship). But I would love to get her number and text her outside of work.

[whichwayisup]

If I wanted to know if she likes me, what can I do to get a general idea? I really want to know just for the sake of knowing.

 

That's just ego talking.

 

Bottom line is, she is with someone so it really is pointless to be friend her the way you want to. it's just a set up in the end that will cause you pain.

[knight_begins]

I gave it some time and I feel a little better now and have fully accepted her as a friend. Don't get me wrong I still have a crush on her but I'm not letting that get in the way of anything.

 

Anyways, how can I get her number and hang out with her as friends outside of work? Honestly I'm not very good with this in general. I almost never ask people for their numbers or to hang out. I want to be really careful here because I still like her and I don't want to make things awkward between us especially because I wouldn't want to lose her as a friend.

 

She's mentioned that she wants to go see a movie amongst the group and since I mostly spend my times studying, I wouldn't mind going with her to see it. Our mutual friend said the whole group should go but the group never does at all.

[knight_begins]

Today she was acting extremely random during lunch at work. She was telling me how she was just thinking about me, how she was so happy to see me, how she thought I didn't show up to work and things like that. It really felt great and because I don't get that sort of attention all the time. It felt as if she hadn't seen me in ages.

 

Funny thing is, we see each other everyday at work and hang out at lunch so I don't know why she was acting all happy like that today. She did this infront of our friends too. What does that mean? Is it normal for female friends to act that way with their male friends?

 

Just for the record, she doens't talk about her boyfriend or anything. She has only mentioned him a few times. For example, she says things like "my boyfriend watches that show too." But it rarely happens.

 

I still try to do things so I won't come off as the guy who likes her and I try not to come off as too nice in case I get like friendzoned. But lately she's been complimenting me a lot. I said how job is a commitment which is why I normally show up for work at least 15 mins early and don't like missing work. She said "I like that."

 

I did a nice thing to another coworker and she said that was so sweet. On a different day I said I was going to give my dad some money on his trip and she said that was really nice. But yeah we joke with each other all the time too like she'll say things about the way I dress and stuff but its all in good fun.

 

Then this happened. It made me feel very happy. I'm not used to getting that kind of attention. It really feels great knowing how much someone cares about me. It was random but I loved it.