Is there anything at all that I could do to lessen the guilt I feel?

[Guest]

Tomorrow is my anniversary. I've been with my boyfriend for five years and we have a beautiful daughter together. Three years ago today, I cheated on my boyfriend with a guy from work. We didn't sleep together but we kissed a couple of times and I let it last for six month. I lied to my boyfriend when he suspected something and convinced him that thier was nothing there.

 

I know what I did was horrible. My boyfriend is a wonderful, generous, great guy! I know I could have ruined the best thing that happened to me.

 

I had just had my daughter, I was working nights and my boyfriend during the day so we weren't spending any time together. Here comes a guy and he made me feel attractive and I was so stupid.

 

I know I can never ever tell him. It would hurt him so bad. We talk about someday getting married and it breaks my heart to think that I'll be starting a marriage with a lie.

 

Is there anything, anything at all that I could do to lessen the guilt I feel?

[The_Analyzer]

Don't start your marriage off with a lie then. You might want to come clean. Yes I'm sure it will hurt him, but you all need to get the cards out on the table and deal with whatever happens. You need to expect that he probably wont be thrilled with your news. We all have to suffer the consquences for our actions or the choices we make in life. It could be too, that he is very understanding and forgiving. Either way you need to tell him, and if you all do get married then you can start with a clean slate. Good luck.

[rhonda]

Let me see, you have been dating for five years have a daughter and he still hasn't proposed? It's not hard to see why you would be vulnerable to the temptation of another man's affection.

For those out there who would like to say I am trying to justify cheating that is not the case, cheating is always wrong, but I have also played the role of underappreciated girlfriend.

Girl I say you're human and as such it is inevitable that you will make mistakes. It sounds like you have a great relationship and that you are truly remorseful. Do not tell him. It was a mistake and it will never happen again because you realize how much you love him. Be happy

[Taken_Angel]

Yes try being HONEST with him...obviously if you feel bad about it, it's because it was bad!

If you didn't sleep with him but only kissed him it would probably be a little easier for him to swallow. You should be honest with your BF how would you feel if he was the one who had cheated and you never knew?

 

You shouldn't start a marriage this way no one should. Do what you know is right!

[HoldOn]

I don't think you should tell him. It would just make YOU feel better and HIM feel worse. Is this what you want?

 

Plus, you only kissed a little. And you are not married. Soooo.... try to forget about it. AND, don't do it again!

[lioness]

Yeah, 'fess up. That's the only way. He will be hurt, but think about living with that lie forever... and what if he found out 10 years from now, the lie would be compounded because you never told him before you were married.

[fredrolin]

I say stay quiet and just forget about it.

 

Leave it in the past.

 

I would rather live with alittle guilt then what your boyfriend's reaction could be. He may never trust you again and this could cause friction in your relationship.

 

Why open a can of worms?

[lioness]

Sure, if you CAN live with the guilt, then stay quiet.

 

But it doesn't sound like she is living very well with the guilt or she wouldn't be here asking, right?