about to get married and just found out GF cheated on me - don't know what to do

[mørkt selvmord]

imo life just works to turn around and bite you in the ass every 10 seconds.. and a few posts back when i said to give up ur baby.. i didnt relaly stop to think about what i was saying.. bcuz i know id never give up my child for anything.. no matter what.. sometimes you have to do those things.. but its just.. really wierd i guess.. thats the only reason why abortion is good.. to save them from entering a world wrought by fighting.. wars.. rapists.. kidnappers.. pediphiles (sp?).. molesters... etc.

 

(dont take any of this the wrong way at all.. not really related.. just my opinion... though no one ever cares to listen to what i have to say.. so big hugs to those who do.. o.O.. dearly noy queerly...... o.O )

 

anyways.. i guess to most teenage girls.. life sucks.. but its only bcuz they dont get the car daddy promised them.. or the outfit they saw at the store that was $500.00.. they never stop to think about people who have less than them.. and those who dont have good lives..

 

 

when ur daughter gets older.. make sure to be open with her.. and try to get her to open up to you.. bcuz have no one hurts too much.. let her hang out with who she wants to (regardless of the sex.. m or f) bcuz having no friends.. well.. really sucks.. i mean.. being alone has its upsides.. but when ur crying.. is there anyone to hold you? anyone to tell you that ull get through it? anyone to help you in general? no.. bcuz no matter what.. your always alone..

[Grinning Maniac]

Originally posted by lifeisloveispain

First and foremost, Maniac, watch yourself.

 

OoOoOoOoOoooo!!! *shakes*

 

Originally posted by lifeisloveispain

I consider what you said a personal attack on me, and I don't much appreciate it.

 

I apologize. I just see you heading for what will probably be bad times, and you're going right along with it.

 

Originally posted by lifeisloveispain

First and foremost, Maniac, watch yourself. You never know who you're going to royally piss off spreading around your pesudo-moral BS in regards to situation you know nothing about. I consider what you said a personal attack on me, and I don't much appreciate it. First of all, I'm not stupid. Second, I'm not marrying her because she's pregnant. Third, I just happened to be one of those lucky cases of failed conctraception, buddy. It does happen, and I never planned on her getting pregnant. Maybe it never occured to you that I don't want to have MY (yes, my) child aborted, or given up for adoption. That ever cross your mind when you were having your knee-jerk reaction?

 

Knee jerk reaction? I'm just responding to what you posted. You never said that you WANTED to keep the kid, "buddy". In fact, from your original post, it sounded just the opposite.

 

"I'm only 20 years old, and now I'm stuck with a woman who's cheated on me and lied, because of her being pregnant."

"And now I'm trapped."

"...I never wanted kids"

 

Just because you said you love the yet to be born kid doesn't mean you want to keep it around. Love and logic are two different things. But I digress. You want to keep the kid? Fine. I think it's a pretty dumb move at your age, but it's your life and your money.

 

Originally posted by lifeisloveispain

No, I will not even consider having MY child put up for adoption - get real. I never said I didn't want or love that child at this point. Like I'm going to trust anyone other than myself to raise my baby. Just cause her mom cheated does not make the baby in some way tainted. It's my baby, and I am keeping it. To be honest, I already told the GF that if this whole thing did end with me leaving, she had to sign over her rights to the child to me, since she is completely incapable of supporting it. To summarize (and repeat myself), I AM NOT GIVING MY BABY AWAY!

 

Oh no, I never said the baby is "tainted" because her mom cheated on you. It's not the kid's fault at all. I said it's a dumb move to have the kid because you're both quite young, you especially. You're 20, mate. Not even out of college yet(if you attend college) and you will soon be a FATHER. You have already said that your girlfriend is financially incapable of supporting it, so that leaves you holding the bag. Good times. I thought your 20's were supposed to be fun. Whoops. My mistake. Mid-life crisis is going to be a bitch for you, huh?

 

Originally posted by lifeisloveispain

Yes, I do still have my doubts, but I am beginning to believe that this was just one Stupid Hurtful Mistake, as someone put it earlier. I think some of this stuff may be overthinking, and searching for further wrongs where none exist. I certainly know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she's been faithful for the past year or more. Even if it was only once, it will take me a long time to get over it, but I think I can forgive it in time.

 

Uh huh. A stupid mistake that she made with your "best friend" directly after you two had an argument. I don't think you are overthinking this, I think you are underthinking it. As I said before, couples tend to have arguements. Goes with the territory for the most part. I bet your butthole's going to pucker just a wee bit the next time you two argue, huh? She's already proven that she's willing to screw you over royally when she's mad at you, and lie about it at that. I don't know your SO personally, but that's not really ever a good sign. Especially if she has a history of doing such things. But hey...maybe I'm just being illogical.

 

I like to think people can change, but well...You never know, huh? I'm curious, do you really think it's ok that you're marrying someone who boinked your best friend because she was mad at you, and was selfish enough to lie to you about it until she had you in a situation where she knew you pretty much COULDN'T leave her? That sounds really nice of her. That is what I can't believe you're letting go. That sounds horribly manipulative. You knock her up and THEN she decides to clue you in on "Oh by the way, honey, I played 'hide the salami' with your best friend a few years ago when you pissed me off. Well, I'm off to buy some milk. Cya." ? Right... If I need to "grow up" to accept bullsh*t like that, I'll be staying immature, thanks.

 

Originally posted by lifeisloveispain

Apple, your insight astounds me. You are truly an asset to this whole forum (maybe you make up for the detriment of maniac's unthinking responses).

 

That was cute. Sorry if you take my bluntness as me not thinking when I speak. Your error. I see it as tough love.

 

Originally posted by lifeisloveispain

Since this happened, I've built a great life for myself. I have a wonderful job, a beatiful baby daughter on the way, and ***a woman who leaves me***. Hard to believe that last one, but I'm actually pretty sure of it after seeing her reactions to all this over the last few days. Her apologies are heartfelt, her grief is thick enough you could cut it with a knife, and what she says (now that I'm not so angry and hearing lies everywhere) has that certain ring of the truth.

 

*Wow, talk about a Freudian slip.

 

That's great that you have a good job and will at least not be slumming to take care of this kid(hopefully). Still doesn't make becoming a father at 20 a Grade-A decision, but like I said, it's your life and your money. I'm curious though. Since you've taken such offence to my advice, it's clear that you've already chosen what you want to do. So that begs the question...why exactly are you here? Why are you bothering to ask for advice if you're already set on your course of action in the first place? Seems like a waste of time to me. I mean...people come here a lot for advice and end up ignoring it unbeknownst to us, but you just come out and say it haha.

 

Originally posted by lifeisloveispain

To the rest of you who think I should wash my hands of this, put the child up for adoption, and start over, I say only one thing. Grow up a little. Anyone who would suggest getting rid of your own flesh and blood like she's an inconvenience needs to have a serious reality check. Whatever her mother did, you need to remember that the baby has done nothing wrong, and also that you can't make choices that are going to affect an unborn child just because of their parent's mistakes. It's unfair, and cruel.

 

Contrary to popular opinion, having a kid is NOT flushing your life down the toilet, it's taking your life one step closer to heavenly. No matter what the circumstances around that are (well, excluding the obvious like rape, incest, etc).

 

Oh, I would disagree here. At 20 years of age, a child will impact your financial, social, and business life negatively. I would call that an inconvenience. Sadly it's one that you tried to avoid and failed. I may just be nuts, but aren't you supposed to spend your 20's having fun, building your career/finances, and basically just living life? I don't think you'll have as much time for that if you're playing "daddy". Therefore, you probably won't be as successful and happy as you might have been had you not been thrust into fatherhood. So, yeah...at our age, kids are an inconvenience, not a blessing. Sorry to pee all over that idea from the Lifetime channel.

 

Oh well, you've made your decision. So, honestly, good luck. Hopefully you don't become a statistic.

[mørkt selvmord]

I hate to be rude... but I just think that the ''logic'' in your post has gone a bit too far and is now just blaintly insulting him. What i really don't understand is that he's trying to fix what he's done and so forth, and you blokes are discouraging him. All you have to do is at least give him some courage. It isn't ''tough love''. It's insulting the man for making HIS OWN decisions on HIS OWN life. He came for help.. we gave it.. and yet you still sit here insulting the poor guy. That's not tough love, that's sharing your opinion in a crude way.

[aPpLe JuIcE]

Maniac it would be simple to pick apart your post and turn things around the same way you did. I shall not be the one to do that though...just wanted you to be aware.

 

lifeisloveispain, I'm honestly glad that you're keeping the baby. I wouldn't have condemned you for putting it up for adoption, but I'm very glad you're stepping up to the plate like a man. Having a child is one of the most precious things on this earth. To look into that baby's sparkling eyes and know that it's a part of you in a way that nothing else can be...it's overwhelming.

 

You have a beautiful name picked out, Alexandra Eve. I wish you a lifetime of happiness and unlike Maniac, I hope you become a statistic...a good one. One of the rare one's that marry once and for life and grow old with their spouse and watch their grandkids playing on the front lawn.

[HoldOn]

but puttint ur kid up for adoption is one of the worst things anyone can ever do.. abortion it wont live to remember..

 

Sounds like you are hurting. But I am sure there are thousands of adopted kids out there who are glad that they are alive rather than dead.

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by lifeisloveispain

Ok, I've got a couple comments here.

-lifeisloveispain

 

Going back to something you said has made my decision easier.

 

"I wish she had never told me..."

 

I am NOT going to tell my girl that I cheated on her. I will never do it again, trust me. The guilt is punishment enough.

 

If I told her, I think the trust would be destroyed irrevocably. Even though I know that if she did not break up with me, things would get better, it would never be the same.

 

So I live with the guilt of what I have done and limit the damage to myself. I live with the pain until it eventually is no more than a mere nuisance.

[Grinning Maniac]

But what help is there to give? If he's already decided what he's going to do, that's all good. But why then ask for advice?

 

I'm not insulting him either. I'm just sharing my opinion. It's not my fault if it's the unpopular one. Since when do we all have to be overly supportive and give the easy answers here on LS? If I think it's not a smart idea to have a kid at 20, I will say so. If I think his wife seems a bit manipulative/selfish, I will say so. Would you rather me just lie completely, light up an e-cigar, and congratulate him on his "good fortune"?

 

I admit, I may be callous in the way I come across with things, but in my experience, people are usually stubborn and don't listen to what anyone says, then come back whining when it all goes wrong. You can probably find evidence of that all over LS. I find it's better to not bother pulling any punches when someone's most likely going to ignore you anyway. That way, while the person may be pissed off at what you've said, it has at least touched brain matter instead of going in one ear and out the other. If they still don't listen, cool. Not my problem. But at least I've had fun.

 

PS: Apple, so you really think it's wise to have a child at 20, instead of later in life when you're probably more emotionally, financially, and socially ready to have one? Also, morkt, what's so wrong with adoption?

[mørkt selvmord]

wow.. we have a genious here... o.O

 

actually.. not many are.. just the ones who dont know.. the others blame them for it.. if you try to run.. they take you and lock you in a room.. sort of like solitary confinement.. only you dont get any food for a day.. though thats a blessing.. care food.. ick

 

it is great to see someone who will make a great father.. it is a beautiful name.. who picked it?

[HoldOn]

actually.. not many are.. just the ones who dont know.. the others blame them for it.. if you try to run.. they take you and lock you in a room.. sort of like solitary confinement.. only you dont get any food for a day.. though thats a blessing.. care food.. ick

 

I don't understand what you are talking about. Are you talking about foster homes? Sounds like you are talking about Charles Dicken's orphanages.

[mørkt selvmord]

most times when they adopt you... they only want you to work for them.. or they want you to be their slave.. only about 2 out of 10 get put in good homes.. not even that.. and its not like charles dickens.. at all.. the older boys always rape the older girls.. no matter where u turn theres always trouble.. its NOT safe.. its the exact oposite

[HoldOn]

ooookay.

 

I (falsely) believed that couples wanted a baby to call their own because of infertility. Do you have any evidence or supporting stories for this?

[lifeisloveispain]

Ok, some thoughts.

 

To ConfusedinOC: Good choice. In fact, that's almost exactly what wrote when I replied to your post. No good can come of telling in these kind of situations (the one-time mistakes). I'm glad you were able to gain help or comfort from this.

 

 

To Mørkt: I picked the name. And thank you to all who have complimented me on it.

 

To Apple: You remain my goddess! Your kind words seriously made me a feel lot better with my decision. You've confirmed how I feel that life with the baby will be, and your warm wishes for a happy life do not fall on deaf ears. My thanks.

 

And finally, to Maniac: I hadn't made my decision until I wrote that post. It's as big a surprise to me as anything else. And it was because of the discussion on this forum that I think I was able to arrive at it.

 

My mother was 19 when she had her first child, my father 23. This was a long time ago. They were happy, and had two more children when they were in their twenties. In contrast, when the had me (I was an accident) they were both in their forties. Which means, when I wanted to play catch with my dad, his arthritis was acting up. When I wanted to walk around a city, his legs hurt. You get the idea. They could do a lot more with the kids they had when they were young, and I wish I'd been one of the first batch, to more enjoy my time with my parents. By the time I came around, they had thought they were done with children.

 

Interestingly enough, my brother (who's in his mid thirties) and his wife are having their first baby three months after we have ours. As he put it, "when my kid's 18, I'l already by in my fifties. You'll only be in your forties. Think about how much more you'll be able to do with your child." I agree with him. I know it's not the standard to have kids when you're young anymore, but not that long ago, it was. And I'd rather get it out of the way early.

 

Just because I never wanted kids before doesn't mean I don't want to care for my child now. That's just part of being a man, as far as I'm concerned. But, nobody wants you to lie, or to give the easy answers maniac. I appreciate, though don't agree with, your point of view. And to my way of thinking, washing my hands of her is the easy answer - staying seems much harder to me right now.

 

Finally, yes, that was a funny freudian slip. Never even realized I made it. Good eye, and I even got a laugh out of that one. And remember, financially, socially, economically put aside - physiologically, you're supposed to start making babies at 15 or so if you're a boy, 13 or so if you're a girl. That's the way mother nature programmed it. I'm not saying I agree with it, just it puts 20 a little more in perspective.

 

Again, thanks to everyone (even you, Maniac) for their continuing support and discussion. It's not to have a place to vent my thoughts a little bit while I'm still dealing with this. Never thought this post would get so many replies, or into such heated discussion...

 

-lifeisloveispain

[aPpLe JuIcE]

PS: Apple, so you really think it's wise to have a child at 20, instead of later in life when you're probably more emotionally, financially, and socially ready to have one? Also, morkt, what's so wrong with adoption?

 

Maniac I think the age that a person or couple choose to have children is on an entirely individual basis. People mature at different rates depending on social circumstances. Personally I would rather have my children while I'm young and can better enjoy them. Others may rather spend their 20's partying and focusing on careers. It's a personal choice.

 

Also, I'd like to say that I think that adoption is a much better alternative than abortion. Like someone said, I'm sure there are lots of adopted children out there who are thankful they were given a chance to live.

 

To Apple: You remain my goddess! Your kind words seriously made me a feel lot better with my decision. You've confirmed how I feel that life with the baby will be, and your warm wishes for a happy life do not fall on deaf ears. My thanks.

 

I'm flattered.

[Artifact]

I am impressed with how you have seemed to mature just through this post. I hope you are so strong in "real" life.

[mørkt selvmord]

no problem.. ive always wanted to name my child Alexandria for a girl.. or Alexander for a boy

 

^.^

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by lifeisloveispain

Ok, some thoughts.

 

To ConfusedinOC: Good choice. In fact, that's almost exactly what wrote when I replied to your post. No good can come of telling in these kind of situations (the one-time mistakes). I'm glad you were able to gain help or comfort from this.

 

 

I'm grieving, trying to deal with the guilt and just making a pact with myself that I will never be so weak again.

 

Hell, if I had just stopped drinking a long time ago, none of this would have happened. Not that I blame alcohol. I blame myself for not realizing sooner what it does to me.

 

I feel that this experience in some ways can be good for me. It's a hard learned lesson, but one that I needed.

 

As for you. I really admire your dedication to raising a child. You're very mature for 20.

 

As for your G/F, you really need to dig deep and see if she has cheated other that that one time. If she hasn't, then maybe she really did make a ONE TIME mistake and learned her lesson. If she loves you, truly loves you, then what she did believe it or not only solidified her love.

 

But if she cheated on you more than once, then I would say she has not turned over a new leaf.

 

I encourage you, if you really love her, to get her to come clean. And if she is adamant that she has never cheated on you since and never will, then perhaps after some grieving yourself, you can get over it and continue your relationship.

 

After all, true love is unique and rare....

[lifeisloveispain]

Hey again everyone!

 

So, Apple, right on. I'm in complete agreement about the having kids while you're still young and can enjoy it. Given my choice, I would have waited a couple more years, but I'm glad it happened now rather than ten years in the future. I'm glad I'm not the only one who seems to have this crazy idea.

 

ConfusedInOC, I've been watching your topic and your replies here. Look, in case nobody has said it, by the tone of and the remorse I see in your posts, you're a good guy. You screwed up once - we're all entitled to mess up once or twice (and if that's all the times you screw up in your life, man, you are doing way better than me). So, let yourself off the hook a little bit. I mean, yes, you should feel bad and all, but try not to let it get you down quite so much. There are a lot of people who just wouldn't care about it like you do. Oh, and good for you for not trying to blame the alcohol - I hate when people use that kinda stuff as an excuse. You're okay, man - believe it or not, it sounds like this girl is pretty lucky to have you.

 

I think I have really gotten the truth out of her. If she could make it through my nasty interrogations the first couple of days and my snide remarks (sorry, but I'm a bastard when I'm hurt and angry), chances are she was telling the truth. I don't think it ever happened again, or that it ever will. It was a long time ago, and I actually think she learned her lesson not long after it happened. For two years, she's just been living with the regret, and the hope that I'd never find out about her mistake. And I guess everyone deserves a second chance... well, almost everyone.

 

And to Artifact: Thanks. Although I'm not sure you're compliment is warranted. I don't know if I've matured throughout this, as much as I've gotten a little less pissed over time. Leads to clearer thinking, and more coherent typing. Time is the great healer, and even though a couple days is not a long time, it is enough to take a little of the edge off of a fresh hurt. But either way, thanks.

 

-lifeisloveispain

[johnnyl321]

forget about her. never forget about your child. if you want true love, it will be from your child. everyone else is too ****ing tied up in theirselves to want to make a difference to anyone else, no matter what all we do for them.

have no bad feelings about leaving her destitute, make sure the baby is taken care of. tell her to go back to her family.

[amerikajin]

lifeisloveispain,

 

You are mature beyond your years, young man. I'm impressed with your ability to make these kinds of tough decisions and to go through with them.

 

About the original question, I wouldn't marry this woman. It will perhaps make your situation a little more complicated, but I think it would only get more complicated down the road if you stayed with her and allowed it to happen again. As I said in another thread, marriage requires the best possible footing going into it, and from the looks of things, your partner doesn't have much integrity. Whatever her circumstances may be, you have to be a strong father for your son/daughter, and you can't be strong if you're taking cr#p from her.

[ziggue]

I agree with everyone else. Do not marry this girl just because of the baby. Just think if she wasn't pregnant what would you do?

 

I know this girl who had just had her boyfriends baby in Febuary. She just found out that he's been cheating on her for the past couple of months. That didn't stop her from dumping him. Don't know how that ones gonna work out but. Only just heard about it. Haven't spoken to her in a while.

 

I also know this guy who is 26 and has 2 boys. One 5 and one 6. He must've had them when he was around your age. That's 2 in 2 years even. Guess he didn't learn his lesson the first time. . Even though he has been seperated with his Ex (They never married) for 4 years and he still managed to raise pretty healty, happy good kids. Their mum is still pretty much in their lives too. She has them every second weekend and comes over and gets them ready for school in the mornings. Now that doesn't seem to bad for someone in your situation.

 

That's proof that you can still be a really good father even if break up with your girlfriend. . Good Luck with whatever you decide.

 

Make sure you are always a part of your baby's life. No matter what happens.

[bye2past]

Man, I had a real, physical (chemical?) reaction after reading your story. I think that's one of my worst nightmares -- finding out much later that she cheated, and trying to use the "but it was so long ago" argument. I believe there's just no excuse for cheating. It's wrong, unfair, and devastating. NO ONE deserves that kind of pain, no matter HOW angry you may be towards him/her at the moment.

 

It's really a shame that she's pregnant with your child from a breaking-up standpoint. You can't just walk away clean anymore -- there will always be some constant reminder. Regardless, I forget who posted this, but they gave great advice -- walk away from her, but not the child. That child is your kin! Do your best to be the best father you can be to that child, and forget about her. It's like that old adage - cheaters never win, winners never cheat.

 

Good luck with everything, and I'm really sorry you've had to experience that.

[amerikajin]

I look it at this "it was so long ago" issue the way the IRS looks at unpaid taxes. Each day you fail to produce full disclosure is a seperate offense. Each day you fail to disclose the truth is a new lie. It's not like she committed the offense two years ago and that was that; she committed one offense two years ago and kept committing new ones to compound the old one.

 

In other words, she's got no integrity. Now. In the present.

[amer]

YOu need to move on. My wife cheated on my while we were engaged and I never found out untl many years later after we had two kids and a whole life together. How did I find out? She cheated again and I confronted her.

 

There was at least one other unadmitted to affair during those 16 years.

 

I can't begin to describe the agony of the revelation that my wife was this way.

 

I married her at 21, way too early.

 

Don't ruin your life. Get a dna test, a paternity test and find out o if the kid is yours. leave her.

 

Her relatives know her best and they have disowned her.

 

For someone totally dependent upon you she sure has a way of expressing gratitude.

 

Hang in there.

[lifeisloveispain]

Ok, this is my third time retyping this cause every time I go to post, it's logged me out. Hope I didn't leave anything important out this time...

 

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted/updated. I went up North for a few weeks, and have been insanely busy since I got back (I work for myself, so there's been a lot to do).

 

First of all, amerikajin, thanks for your kind words. And I completely agree with your IRS analogy. In fact, I think I'm more upset about her continuous lie-by-omission than I am by the initial offense, if that's possible. Weird, but true.

 

Amer, there is no doubt that the child is mine. At the time of conception we were in the process of moving and she was never out of my sight. In fact, the dates seem to indicate that she got pregnant right after we moved, and I'm 100% sure that it's my child. 100%.

 

Oh, and she disowned her relatives, actually (just her mother's side, to be precise).

 

Bye2past, I agree that there's no excuse for cheating. But, she didn't give me an excuse. All she had to say was "I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking or why I did it, I can't believe that I was willing to sacrifice all this then," and "I'm so ashamed, how can I ever make it up to you?" Actually, she kinda gains a point in my book for not trying to make excuses. Not a big point, but a point nonetheless. I think that the timeframe thing was just a factor to her, that it was so long ago and she's lived her life for me since then. I can understand how she sees it that way. I don't, but I kind of see how she does.

 

Ziggue, I don't know what I would do. But I do know that only seeing my kid every other weekend isn't acceptable. I'm the most capable of taking care of it (except for the breastfeeding), and I intend to be around it all the time. Not just sometimes. I will be a good father, and I will be there for my kid - and not just on weekends.

 

Finally, Johnnyl321, I have a bit of a question. You say that I shouldn't feel bad about leaving her destitute? Well, the reason she's so poor right now is that she hasn't been able to work in awhile cause of the pregnancy (doc's orders). And really, if I left someone in that kind of situation (pregnant, poor, homeless, and alone), would I be any better than her? In fact, the day I am capable of that is the day I write myself off as being even close to a member of the human race. Yes, I will get love from my baby, but if I acted that way, would I really deserve it?

 

Ok, new thoughts.

 

Well, first of all, I've been thinking about how I'd feel if the situation was reversed. If I had messed around, would I expect forgiveness? No. But I'd hope for it. Sometimes people screw up, that's life and humanity in general. To err is only human, to forgive is divine, right? I kinda like the idea of having some spark of divinity within me. And if I forgive this, that makes me like freaking Gandhi, right???

 

Second, I talked with my Dad. He gave me two things to think about. First, he said that if he found out my Mom had cheated on him at one point, he wouldn't even tell her he knew. It wouldn't matter. They've built too much together. Second, he said that if he had cheated, he wouldn't tell. No good could come of it, only hurt. His words not mine. So maybe I can kinda understand why she didn't tell me.

 

Also, everyone's been advising me not to marry her just because of the baby. What people are missing is that I was engaged to her before all this came out. I was going to marry her because I love her. Just thought I'd slip that in.

 

So anyway, here's the part nobody will like...

 

While I was up North, I married this girl. I didn't marry her because of the baby. It was just right for me. The marriage was on August 15, about 35 people, by a river in the mountains. It was great. What can I say?

 

I think there are two reasons she didn't tell me about this. One, she was ashamed, and she's been trying to make it up to me in her own way ever since. Two, it would just hurt me. To be honest, I wish I'd never found out.

 

Yes, this has left me with some stuff to deal with. I'm sure insecurity and uncertainty will be kicking my butt for a while. Some times everything's cool, and then for no reason I think about it and sadness and anger follows. It sucks. But that's not that often - I'm usually too busy to think about it. And I'm sure in time it will stop being such a big deal. Time is the great healer.

 

I love her, that's why I married her. It was the right thing for me. She loves me, and she messed up. I think I can deal with that. I hope I can. Time will tell.

 

Maybe I should change my username to lifeisloveisfreakingGandhi.

 

-lifeisloveispain(isfreakingGandhi!)

[ziggue]

The guy I knew had his kids during the week all the time and the Ex just had them every second weekend. Which is a bit unusual. It's usually the other way around. With most couples.

 

Forgot to mention that there is this other guy I know (my boyfriend's friend) who married his girlfriend. They have been married for like over a year.

 

Don't know the relationship too well. Have only known them for a couple of months. They've been married for like over a year. Sometimes the guy craps on about his wife and calls her a bitch while out drinking but I guess that's normal. In a way. To bitch about your wife to your mates. Don't know.

 

They seem to be doing okay too me.

 

Hopefully things work out for you guys. Make sure she doesn't cheat on you again!