Do I want to marry him because he is safe and comfortable?

[unsafe]

Ok I need some advice.

 

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, but the past year we have broken up twice for a few months. We are currently together. and have been for two months. He came back and said he made such a mistake that I am the one he wants to marry. He told me and my family that he wants to marry me soon. To ask within the year and have the wedding in two years from now. He just bought a house with a friend in Feb. so he has to wait till he can sell the house so we can live together. It was very hard for me at first when we got back together this last time.

 

I had gotten involved with this guy for a couple months and really liked him. He broke things off with me because he said he was scared of getting hurt because his ex got engaged after two month of their breakup. He said he liked me alot and I was very special. But we just stayed friends. As soon as he heard I was with someone else he started sending me lyrics to romantic songs and asking for a second chance. I even said oh you want what you can't have huh? And he said well I thought about that, and that isn't it.

 

Then I started getting all mixed up with my emotions because I really liked this other guy and we had so much fun together. I would let go and just have fun. And with my boyfriend I am more responsible. Plus the other guy has emotional problems he takes me on rollercoasters. When its good its so good nothing is better but when its bad its bad and I am fustrated and torn. But we aren't together I am with my boyfriend.

 

I hung out with the other guy last week. got drunk and well we flirted alot. the next day I was like I have to break up with my boyfriend because he wants to marry me and I have feelings for this other guy. So I told him I wasn't sure this was going to work and I need to figure it out alone. He was so hurt but understood after the break ups he had put me through. I told this other guy and then he acted like I was poision..he never called and never tried to contact me. He had asked me that night if he could take me to dinner. So I was confused. Then I realized I wasn't feeling good about the break up. So the next day the other guy contacted me to see how I was doing and I told him I had to cutt all ties with him because I liked him to much and it messes with my head when he acts like he wants me and then acts like he doesn't. He said he understood. And then he called me and was like I want you to know I am always here for you and if you want to do dinner soon call me up. Then he said so whats the deal with us? I said I can't talk to you anymore. He said ok I will talk to you soon. I have stayed of the interenet that is where we communicate the most. So no contact. I got back with my boyfriend because I realized I do love him. I just don't want to be with him because he is comfortable and safe? I will I know?

 

Any advice?

[firewife]

Wow, Girl thats a confusing story!

Ok,to sum up what I got from that, you and Guy A broke up, you started dating Guy B. Guy A finds out and wants you back, starts talking marriage, but you have a history of break ups. Guy B is more fun than A,but he plays games with you. And basicly you want to know who to choose,right???

 

I'm pretty straight forward,please dont take it personally! Bad boys are FUN to play with,no doubt there,and since you have no history w/him, he's even more mysterious. The thing about those guys is that they DON'T change. Trust me on this one, I tried for 10years with one,never happened. Best advise I've ever heard is to believe a man when he tells you who he is,the first time he tells/shows you.

 

Now the MarryingMan, he sounds like a good choice,at least willing to commit to you. but the thing is,it dosent sound like you're ready for that commitment. It sounds like you need to explore your options a little more. Maybe even keep talking to him,see where he's at with this,make sure HIS motives are right.

Just don't jump into anything yet, if he REALLY wants to Marry you, he'll wait untill you're ready.