Tara247 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Do what you feel is best then. Hopefully, she will find out some other way, hopefully before she contracts a STD. Remember, don't be surprised if you hear from him again. This time, please do not let him back into your bed. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 He hasn't ruined your life unless you let him. You're giving him far too much power. Nobody is saying that telling his wife will help you..we're saying that it will help her. Remember her? The person you and Josh hurt? The real victim in all of this? She deserves the truth and he's obviously not going to give it to her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ilovedhim Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 No, I'm out. I don't want any part of either of them. I can't be in the middle of this anymore. I can't take back what I've done, but i know for sure i don't want this anymore.. He's ruined my life. I'm going to try hard to forget this whole thing ever happened. Telling her will only make it worse for me. Bringing myself deeper into this....its not worth it. He's not worth it. He hasn't ruined your life lol.. you spent 2 days with him and look how hurt you are.. his wife has spent years with him. After your anger has subsided you will start feeling guilty. Telling her is part of the healing process. Call her tell her, be apologetic, answer questions.. then forget them. Link to post Share on other sites
Decorative Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 No, I'm out. I don't want any part of either of them. I can't be in the middle of this anymore. I can't take back what I've done, but i know for sure i don't want this anymore.. He's ruined my life. I'm going to try hard to forget this whole thing ever happened. Telling her will only make it worse for me. Bringing myself deeper into this....its not worth it. He's not worth it. But you can help someone else. Tell her the truth of her own life, and potentially protect her from bringing a baby into the world with this man. That is a way of making something better about this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) But you can help someone else. Tell her the truth of her own life, and potentially protect her from bringing a baby into the world with this man. That is a way of making something better about this. Oh, yeah. The baby. I had forgotten that his wife wants to have a baby. That poor innocent child will most likely be the product of divorce because Josh is so indecent that he will probably cheat again. Jen, since you know the wife wants to have a child with Josh, the kindest thing you can do is tell her what her husband has done. Then, if she decides she wants to trust him again and stay with him, at least she knows what she's dealing with. P.S. What a nasty ole scumbag Josh is. Edited November 3, 2012 by Tara247 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 I can't feel anything remorse for her right now. I know that sounds mean, but i don't mean it to be. I do feel bad for her, but the pain I'm feeling for myself is so strong, there's nit enough room for me to feel anything else. I'll think of her another time.... he's not a scumbag and that's what gets me. I don't know why he's acting this way. This is not my Josh...the Josh i know would not hurt two women he claimed to love... Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 This is not my Josh...the Josh i know would not hurt two women he claimed to love... First - he was never "your" Josh. Second - you created a Josh in your head of the man you wanted in your life. He never was that man and we knew that from the get-go and tried to tell you. Third - you have a way to start healing from this; by sharing with his wife what you now know to be true about this man. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
ilovedhim Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Well put, Carrie. Josh doesn't love two women, Josh loves Josh. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 First - he was never "your" Josh. Second - you created a Josh in your head of the man you wanted in your life. He never was that man and we knew that from the get-go and tried to tell you. Third - you have a way to start healing from this; by sharing with his wife what you now know to be true about this man. I was about to say the exact same thing. Jennifer, he's not yours and he never was. You put him up on a pedestal and created a fantasy version of him in your head, but the real life Josh is not that guy, and he probably never was. If he loved you, he wouldn't have done this to you. You've known this guy for 17 years and he was perfectly willing to throw those years away for one roll in the hay. Doesn't that tell you ANYTHING about his character, and about how he really feels about you? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I can't feel anything remorse for her right now. I know that sounds mean, but i don't mean it to be. I do feel bad for her, but the pain I'm feeling for myself is so strong, there's nit enough room for me to feel anything else. I'll think of her another time.... he's not a scumbag and that's what gets me. I don't know why he's acting this way. This is not my Josh...the Josh i know would not hurt two women he claimed to love... I'm sure his wife would be saying the same thing. "This isn't the Josh that I married and the man that I love." Bottom line is, the guy is selfish and thought with his dinky. And, he knows this too, which is why he's backed off of you and realized wtf he's done. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 If he loved you, he wouldn't have done this to you. You've known this guy for 17 years and he was perfectly willing to throw those years away for one roll in the hay. Doesn't that tell you ANYTHING about his character, and about how he really feels about you? Exactly. Jen, if he truly loved you the way you loved him, he would have married you years ago. Right now, this guy only loves himself and his body parts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 Just got off the phone with him. Said he's sorry, but he couldn't do it because she was very upset. She came back to the room, she crying about their house, about her mom (who is fine, btw), he said it was just too much to lay on her at once. I called him a liar, a coward.i said i hated him, and that i never wanted to speak to him again. I told him i wished I'd never met him. And i hung up before he could say anything else. He text me "please, listen to me" I text him back telling him to eff-off and leave me alone... He text back "ok, fine. I am sorry" I don't hate him...after all of this, i still don't hate him. I hate this whole situation, but not him. Lolol how idiotic is that ? Someone can totally mangle your heart, and still not be able to hate them... Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Just got off the phone with him. Said he's sorry, but he couldn't do it because she was very upset. She came back to the room, she crying about their house, about her mom (who is fine, btw), he said it was just too much to lay on her at once. I called him a liar, a coward.i said i hated him, and that i never wanted to speak to him again. I told him i wished I'd never met him. And i hung up before he could say anything else. He text me "please, listen to me" I text him back telling him to eff-off and leave me alone... He text back "ok, fine. I am sorry" I don't hate him...after all of this, i still don't hate him. I hate this whole situation, but not him. Lolol how idiotic is that ? Someone can totally mangle your heart, and still not be able to hate them... Nah, it's not idiotic. It's hard to go from loving someone with all your heart to hating them in the span of only a few weeks. But keep reminding yourself of what he did to you, and keep being strong. You will heal from this. Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I fully understand you about not wanting to stay in the drama by telling her. Do not worry about that if you feel that way. Just stay away from him and don't accept being the OW. I doubt he won't try and try again. Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I don't see why she should regret the sex. I wouldn't decide to be with someone long term without knowing how it works sexually. It was also a major crush for her, and sometimes it's better to put those at rest if they don't die naturally. She just needs to realize that more sex only keeps him married, and cut her loses. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 I don't see why she should regret the sex. I wouldn't decide to be with someone long term without knowing how it works sexually. It was also a major crush for her, and sometimes it's better to put those at rest if they don't die naturally. She just needs to realize that more sex only keeps him married, and cut her loses. I don't regret it. I'm happy it happened. At least i don't have to wonder what could've happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Jen, I agree with the others who have said that you need to prepare yourself for the next time he tries to feed you a line of B.S. (and until he has final divorce papers in his hands, it's all B.S.). To help you with that, I am reminding you of what you said in an earlier post--she cannot force him to stay in the marriage. Therefore, as long as he is still married, it is because HE has made that choice. Remember that. No matter what he tells you & whatever excuses he gives you, he could choose to leave if he really wanted to. He says that she is too upset...well, you seem to be pretty upset yourself--but he chose to stay with her. Dont allow yourself to be a consolation prize or let him play you for a fool. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Now he will wait long enough for you To forget what a jerk he really is ---> then try to start it again. I hope you move forward without looking back and stay strong! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Jen, I agree with the others who have said that you need to prepare yourself for the next time he tries to feed you a line of B.S. (and until he has final divorce papers in his hands, it's all B.S.). To help you with that, I am reminding you of what you said in an earlier post--she cannot force him to stay in the marriage. Therefore, as long as he is still married, it is because HE has made that choice. Remember that. No matter what he tells you & whatever excuses he gives you, he could choose to leave if he really wanted to. He says that she is too upset...well, you seem to be pretty upset yourself--but he chose to stay with her. Dont allow yourself to be a consolation prize or let him play you for a fool. YES! Such an excellent point, I felt like it needed to be reposted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I don't regret it. I'm happy it happened. At least i don't have to wonder what could've happened. Jennifer...you were used for sex and you don't regret it?! If he was going through a rough patch in his marriage and he needed emotional support from you, he could have interacted with you as a friend. Instead, he used you for sex and is staying with his marriage. Then after he got you in bed, he called you up at 2:00 am for phone sex to get his rocks off, just like the nasty little scumbag that he is. How could you not regret that?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Jen, I agree with the others who have said that you need to prepare yourself for the next time he tries to feed you a line of B.S. (and until he has final divorce papers in his hands, it's all B.S.). To help you with that, I am reminding you of what you said in an earlier post--she cannot force him to stay in the marriage. Therefore, as long as he is still married, it is because HE has made that choice. Remember that. No matter what he tells you & whatever excuses he gives you, he could choose to leave if he really wanted to. He says that she is too upset...well, you seem to be pretty upset yourself--but he chose to stay with her. Dont allow yourself to be a consolation prize or let him play you for a fool. Yep, two women were going to be hurt (Jen and his wife), and he knew that. He tells Jen he loves her, BUT he acted in the best interest of his wife. He protected her from getting hurt instead of you, Jen. What does that tell you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 I don't regret it, because now, i feel like i can finally get him out of my system. Maybe now, i can get over him fully. I was laying in bed, and i could smell him on my sheets. I haven't changed them yet from the night he slept here. My head hurts from thinking, my eyes hurt from crying.. Think I'll go for a walk. I need some air Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Yep, two women were going to be hurt (Jen and his wife), and he knew that. He tells Jen he loves her, BUT he acted in the best interest of his wife. He protected her from getting hurt instead of you, Jen. What does that tell you? What it tells me is he's a spineless coward. And he's not protecting his wife he's protecting the only person he cares about, himself! As soon as the dust settles he'll be back or looking for another woman. The problem in his marriage that made him cheat is still there. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Good luck Jen. Stay strong when he caves and calls you in the near future. Whatever you do, don't let him manipulate you back into bed or re start the affair, or keep a friendship going. You know that won't work, the friendship route as that ended completely as soon as he told you how he felt, when you two kissed and had sex. Can't go backwards, only forwards, so do keep busy and avoid him as much as possible! Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I don't regret it, because now, i feel like i can finally get him out of my system. Maybe now, i can get over him fully. I was laying in bed, and i could smell him on my sheets. I haven't changed them yet from the night he slept here. My head hurts from thinking, my eyes hurt from crying.. Think I'll go for a walk. I need some air Oh hun I feel your pain and I'm living it at this very moment. How long we're you two together? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts