ThatJustHappened Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I hate this, its excruciating. What if he calls and actually had something important to say? I won't answer, but at least I'll be able to hear his messages. I'm not ready to block him. I know its just his phone number, but i wouldn't feel right about blocking him out of my life. A life that he isn't in, seems so lonely. Oh my God, I'm not strong enough to do this. No, clearly you're not. That's why you need to block him, ready or not. You didn't take anyone's advice the first time around and look what happened. So listen to us now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 No, clearly you're not. That's why you need to block him, ready or not. You didn't take anyone's advice the first time around and look what happened. So listen to us now. ^^^^ THIS ^^^^ Jen, you have lamented before that you didn't listen to us. Why won't you now? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mount Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Like all others, including me, the Affair between Jen and Josh will certainly continue....that is typical, no surprise. Right now it is just in the stage of typickk pull-push playful scene. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Like all others, including me, the Affair between Jen and Josh will certainly continue....that is typical, no surprise. Right now it is just in the stage of typickk pull-push playful scene. Sadly, I totally agree with you Mount. It is far from over, it's just a matter of time before things start up again. He's gone stealth mode and once things are calmer, it'll happen again. Jen you say you're not strong enough and you can't block him. You are afraid of hurting him, so this is why the A will continue on some level and eventually you'll let him back into your bed. He's a skilled liar and manipulator, you chose to believe his words and sadly again, you'll choose to believe his words again because you're afraid of not having him in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett5 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 You are all offering great advice, which is wise, caring, and learned from your own experiences. But, don't forget how difficult it is to take advice when your emotions are involved. Jennifer more than likely knows what she 'should' be doing, but you can't always just implement certain things overnight...it takes time to heal and gradually build up strength. Some people can move on more quickly than others - everyone's different. I think Jen is doing fantastically well - she has confronted him for not sticking to his word and is not taking his calls. She knows what he is/appears to be up to, she is wise to that. I agree with the others, there is a danger you could cave when you hear his messages etc, but you just need to stay focused...you're doing well so don't get too down on yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Jen: Who else knows you are bedding a MM? Maybe by telling someone who will love No Matter What will help support you & keep on the path of NC. Like your Mom or Dad?.?. I think it would help you stay in the Reality of the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 Jen: Who else knows you are bedding a MM? Maybe by telling someone who will love No Matter What will help support you & keep on the path of NC. Like your Mom or Dad?.?. I think it would help you stay in the Reality of the situation. No one else knows. Mom and dad would be less than thrilled to know I'm sleeping with a married man, let's just leave it at that. I've thought about telling my younger sister, but i haven't done so yet. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 No one else knows. Mom and dad would be less than thrilled to know I'm sleeping with a married man, let's just leave it at that. I've thought about telling my younger sister, but i haven't done so yet. Sleeping with, as in present tense? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 You mean slept with. Sleeping with implies it's on going or hasn't ended. In your mind, has the A ended for real or are you leaving the door open to see what happens? Aka continue on with having sex with him if he shows up at your house. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 You mean slept with. Sleeping with implies it's on going or hasn't ended. In your mind, has the A ended for real or are you leaving the door open to see what happens? Aka continue on with having sex with him if he shows up at your house. No, its over. But who knows, maybe he will wind up telling her. But i already told him, i won't do anything else unless they're separated at the very least. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 You've already waited 17 years. How much longer are you going to wait for him to choose you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 You've already waited 17 years. How much longer are you going to wait for him to choose you? I'm not "waiting" really. I'm not interested in anyone else, anyway. So where's the harm in hoping? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I'm not "waiting" really. I'm not interested in anyone else, anyway. So where's the harm in hoping? How much pain and anguish are you going through because of this? That is the harm. How much pain do you think his wife is going to experience when she finds out? There is harm in that as well. And what about the next woman he does this to - giving it hope multiplies the harm in letting guys like this have that much power over us. Big harm there. Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 (edited) I'm not "waiting" really. I'm not interested in anyone else, anyway. So where's the harm in hoping? Hope can be debilitating. Hope will keep you stuck in fantasy, not accepting and living your real life. Hope can be amazing in other areas of life, but for love, hope is slow dripping poison. However, your reaction is normal. It's up to you where you go and which path you take about this. Edited November 5, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 How much pain and anguish are you going through because of this? That is the harm. How much pain do you think his wife is going to experience when she finds out? There is harm in that as well. And what about the next woman he does this to - giving it hope multiplies the harm in letting guys like this have that much power over us. Big harm there. It's true - he wanted someone to have sex with raises his wife. And now he will be looking for someone else who is vulnerable enough to believe his lies... And by not telling his W - she won't know his motives. He will cheat again - and she won't know unless you reveal his lack of character to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 (edited) It's true - he wanted someone to have sex with raises his wife. And now he will be looking for someone else who is vulnerable enough to believe his lies... And by not telling his W - she won't know his motives. He will cheat again - and she won't know unless you reveal his lack of character to her. Do you really think the best thing would be to tel her Josh would hate me for doing that + Edited November 4, 2012 by jennifernyc84 Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Do you really think the best thing would be to tel her Josh would hate me for doing that + Yes, I do think it's the best thing. If he loves you and wants to be with you, he'll get over it. If he doesn't love you, want you, has lied to you all this time, he got what he deserved. His wife will be informed as to what he has done, which is her right. Link to post Share on other sites
Mount Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Since you are saying that, which means you care for him sincerely but Josh is totally the opposite. So next thing in your mind, not surprisingly, that if Jennifer does not have sex with Josh, Josh would not hang out with Jennifer anymore. And your action will follow your thoughts, continue to be Josh's OW in the long run. Do you really think the best thing would be to tel her Josh would hate me for doing that + Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 (edited) Don't be gullible. Stand up for yourself. Edited November 5, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Do you really think the best thing would be to tel her Hmmmm... let's see what the board has said: But you can help someone else. Tell her the truth of her own life, and potentially protect her from bringing a baby into the world with this man. the kindest thing you can do is tell her what her husband has done. Then, if she decides she wants to trust him again and stay with him, at least she knows what she's dealing with. She just needs to realize that more sex only keeps him married, and cut her loses. Call his wife! She needs to know! Yep, I would tell his wife, too. I think you should tell his wife. Yes, Jen - tell his wife. Why do you care what he thinks about you now? You should know how he thinks about you by the way he has already treated you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 But i don't have a number on her, and i doubt Josh will be willing to give to me... Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 But i don't have a number on her, and i doubt Josh will be willing to give to me... You went to their wedding and must know mutual friends. Shouldn't be hard to get from someone... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 He's been your best friend for 17 years and you don't have his home number? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 He's been your best friend for 17 years and you don't have his home number? Some of us don't have land-lines anymore.... I haven't had one in a decade and rely on a cell number for everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 He's been your best friend for 17 years and you don't have his home number? They aren't home. Remember? The Strom. Link to post Share on other sites
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