Kisa Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 A man~ married or not... will lie to get what he wants. Plain and simple! I learned the hard way. If someone loves you they will be strong enough to make decisions to be your one and only. Also, if someone isn't happy in a relationship I think they would or should leave before they seek out another partner. Woman need to value themselves more. Don't engage in the risky behavior that hurts others. Also, to pick a man that won't choose to be single with the hope to find love; instead of fishing for girl #2 before he lets girl #1 go~ is a coward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Any update? This is compelling stuff..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 Good morning everyone, hope your day is going well. I wanna let you guys know how right you all were. I told him no more sex, he bailed. No phone call, text. Nothing...not even a post card. I called him this morning, i know he's not at work, no answer. I text him 3 times, no reply. I can't believe he's acting this way. Don't i deserve a proper dismissal? Nothing..he doesn't care for me, he never did. He k knew how i felt for him, and I'd be the easiest target. It was only alt sex. I still don't really regret it though. At least i can finally put my dream to rest. I was with him, and now i don't have to keep wondering what wouldhave/could have happened. I'm ok...not really. But i will be. And not to be quoting Josh, but "i love him , he's just not the person i thought he was" . I think I'll always love him, but not the "him" he is now. The "him" that was my best friend. The one i grew up with....he ruined it. I'm not gonna blame myself. It'll be hard, probably the hardest thing I'll ever do, but I'm gonna get over this. It may take a while, and that's what scares me. I hate feeling this way, even for one day. I'm not gonna cry though. I have no more strength to cry. I'm so drained. I have the whole weekend to myself. After that, I'm going to try to pretend the last two Weeks of my life never happened. Anyone know where i can get one of those Men in Black memory eraser thingys? Lol I'm such a moron..i should have never let it get to this. And i knew, i knew, i knew it was wrong. That's why i came here to LS. but i dud the opposite of everything i was told, everything i already knew... . Okay I'm done.... I've vented enough Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 So sorry you got hurt Jen. You will be okay and better. You deserve and will get so much better. We are always here to listen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alexandria35 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 What a jerk he is! He threw away 17 years of friendship for a couple of romps in the hay with you. On the other hand it's probably a good thing for this friendship to end because you were always pining and wishing for more which took it out of the healthy friendship realm anyways. The question is, what are you going to do when Josh calls you up in a few days, months, or years and wants to bed you down again? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 It is my fault. I told him two Weeks ago, get a divorce then call me. and he told me "then i guess I'll see you around, take care". That was my answer right there. But i thought that if we'd have sex, he'd change his mind. I'm thinking now of all the dumb things that were said and done. He used me. That's the hardest part for me. Why me though? Did our friendship mean nothing to him? I've cherished our friendship for 17 years, did he really wanna just toss it? I can't believe that. 17 years could not have been a lie. No way. If he just wanted sex, why not pick up some cheap slut? Why me? Am ia cheap slut to him? Is that how he sees me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 What a jerk he is! He threw away 17 years of friendship for a couple of romps in the hay with you. On the other hand it's probably a good thing for this friendship to end because you were always pining and wishing for more which took it out of the healthy friendship realm anyways. The question is, what are you going to do when Josh calls you up in a few days, months, or years and wants to bed you down again? That's an other thing that really hurts. He'll really be out of my life forever. Well both never get past this. There's no recovering from this. I'll have to shut him out completely. And that will kill me Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 You need to do what's best for you now. Decide what your boundary is and stick to it. My boundary is always based on what helps keep me: happy, healthy and safe. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 And keep in mind - when sex needs to be used as a bargaining tool or as a weapon - that's not loving behavior - sex should not feel like that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I'll have to shut him out completely. And that will kill me It will not kill you. You need to stop telling yourself things like that. Take care of yourself, okay? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Plan on hearing from him again, plan on further lies on his part to tell the wife that he wants a divorce. ^^^^ THIS ^^^^^ Jen, you ARE going to hear from him again. He is going to tell you how much he wants a divorce and how you are the only one who understands him. Remember that last phrase. I guarantee he will use it on you. Just as I am sure he used it on his wife to get her to marry him. He isn't done with you - we know that - but how you deal with him the next time he contacts you is critical. You can be strong and not let him back into your bed. Tell him to contact you WHEN/IF he gets a divorce and to court you properly. Then you will know for sure if he is worth considering... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 I just text him again. I said "don't ever call me again, you are a liar". He text back "I'm sorry". Hey, at least he text me back... I said i wasn't going to cry Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 It is my fault. I told him two Weeks ago, get a divorce then call me. and he told me "then i guess I'll see you around, take care". That was my answer right there. But i thought that if we'd have sex, he'd change his mind. I'm thinking now of all the dumb things that were said and done. He used me. That's the hardest part for me. Why me though? Did our friendship mean nothing to him? I've cherished our friendship for 17 years, did he really wanna just toss it? I can't believe that. 17 years could not have been a lie. No way. If he just wanted sex, why not pick up some cheap slut? Why me? Am ia cheap slut to him? Is that how he sees me? I told you right then and there, that told you all you needed to know. However, he told you he, "loved you, and he was leaving". You took a chance. I didn't think he was lying. But,...he obviously was. He's a scumbag like I originally thought. You will hear from him again. It may be a month or so though. I wouldn't take the call though. Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I just text him again. I said "don't ever call me again, you are a liar". He text back "I'm sorry". Hey, at least he text me back... I said i wasn't going to cry That's it?? That's all you got? And this man was a friend for 17 years?? I'm sorry, I don't understand how someone can be so indecent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Sorry Jen As a BW I must admit I was concerned for his wife too but I am so sorry for your hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Jen, please listen to me. You know what time it is? Answer: It's time to tell his wife. Right now. Rat him out! I'm as serious as a heart attack. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenPrincess Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 So that's the first you've heard from him since last night when he said his wife would be home soon to tell her? Wow. What a jerk. I'm sure it still stings as hard but at least you only wasted 2 weeks on this roller coaster and not 2 years. Don't feel bad about crying...sometimes you just need to let it all out so you can start recovering (emotionally and physically...I'm sure you are exhausted) Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 Jen, please listen to me. You know what time it is? Answer: It's time to tell his wife. Right now. Rat him out! I'm as serious as a heart attack. I was thinking the same. Why does he get to go back to normal life, while I'm here sick about all this? I think i should call her 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mount Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Wow....so much twist here....Jennifer, be strong and take care yourself though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 Whenever someone tells me to take care its like a knife thru my heart... I really wish people would NOT say that to me Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Whenever someone tells me to take care its like a knife thru my heart... I really wish people would NOT say that to me Then why did you give him sex after he told you that then? We told you not to. Link to post Share on other sites
Decorative Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I was thinking the same. Why does he get to go back to normal life, while I'm here sick about all this? I think i should call her I agree. And save and send any texts you have from him. Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Do not suppress your pain. It will hurt, but at the same time knowing how much it did hurt will keep you from going back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 Then why did you give him sex after he told you that then? We told you not to. I thought he could change... I wanted to believe that so badly Link to post Share on other sites
Mount Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Anyway, did Josh say something about his current thoughts besides his txt back "I am sorry"? Link to post Share on other sites
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