Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 Oh hun I feel your pain and I'm living it at this very moment. How long we're you two together? Its complicated...I've known him my whole life. Always loved him, he was my best friend for 17 years. he got married two years ago. We've been sleeping together for two Weeks only though. Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Its complicated...I've known him my whole life. Always loved him, he was my best friend for 17 years. he got married two years ago. We've been sleeping together for two Weeks only though. I hope you realize that he never was your best friend. You just thought he was. This nasty little pervert would have continued to use you for sex had you not pushed him to tell his wife. Look at where he is now. He's with his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Its complicated...I've known him my whole life. Always loved him, he was my best friend for 17 years. he got married two years ago. We've been sleeping together for two Weeks only though. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't last Saturday (1 week ago today) the first time you had sex with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 (edited) And I wish you would stop calling him your "friend". Have you asked yourself what kind of "best friend" would hit you up at 2:00 a.m. for phone sex?? It surprises me that you allowed that. You must have self-esteem issues. Edited November 4, 2012 by Tara247 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 None of my friends hurt me - they make me feel better, in fact. When someone has betrayed me ( and Josh has to you) I cut them out immediately after expressing to them that I don't like what they've done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 Please correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't last Saturday (1 week ago today) the first time you had sex with him? Yes...but this whole mess started about two Weeks ago, when he told me how he felt about me Link to post Share on other sites
SecretFlower Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Its complicated...I've known him my whole life. Always loved him, he was my best friend for 17 years. he got married two years ago. We've been sleeping together for two Weeks only though. Didn't this all start a week ago? Unless...you've actually been sleeping with him longer than you said? I'm pretty sure I responded the same night you two first slept with each other, which would've been a week ago. Something doesn't seem right here. Link to post Share on other sites
SecretFlower Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Yes...but this whole mess started about two Weeks ago, when he told me how he felt about me So, he contacted you two weeks ago? But, you only slept together one week ago? Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 I just answered my Own question when I found this that you posted earlier today: It is my fault. I told him two Weeks ago, get a divorce then call me. and he told me "then i guess I'll see you around, take care". That was my answer right there. But i thought that if we'd have sex, he'd change his mind. I'm thinking now of all the dumb things that were said and done. He used me. That's the hardest part for me. Why me though? Did our friendship mean nothing to him? I've cherished our friendship for 17 years, did he really wanna just toss it? I can't believe that. 17 years could not have been a lie. No way. If he just wanted sex, why not pick up some cheap slut? Why me? Am ia cheap slut to him? Is that how he sees me? So why are you now saying that you have been sleeping together for two weeks? I'm not pointing this out to be mean...I truly think that it is something that you need to acknowledge. This is how fantasies are created...just a little embellishment here and there and you begin to believe things differently than how they actually were. Perhaps by giving this some serious consideration, you can understand why "real Josh" is not the same as the Josh you have created over the years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 So, he contacted you two weeks ago? But, you only slept together one week ago? Yes. On Saturday, then Thursday he spent the night here. Hr left Friday and said he'd tell her her Friday night, which he did not Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Yes...but this whole mess started about two Weeks ago, when he told me how he felt about me Can you see that "we've been sleeping together for two weeks" and this statement are two different things? Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Can you see that "we've been sleeping together for two weeks" and this statement are two different things? No. He told her he loved her and wanted to marry her two weeks ago. I consider that the start of the affair, not the first time they had sex. Sounds like Jen does too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 He keeps calling and texting me saying he's sorry. i told him to leave me alone and let me get over him..he said he doesn't want me to..to which i did not reply. He's not making it easy.... Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Has he told his wife? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 Has he told his wife? What do you think? Of course he hasn't. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Then he's not really sorry..he's just trying to get your back into bed with him. Block his number and his email address. It's the only way you will avoid him. He's going to be persistent. Link to post Share on other sites
twinsmom Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Do not let him back in, unless you want more of the same. He'll tell you he loves you and wants you, but there will always be some reason why he can't actually be with you...Just don't do it!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mount Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 (edited) No surprisingly, nOw the whole thing falls into the typical MM/OW pull-push game now, now it is your decision to be OW or not. If you shall go ahead to be OW, just own the part that you are willingly participating to be the OW role, not the victim anymore. He keeps calling and texting me saying he's sorry. i told him to leave me alone and let me get over him..he said he doesn't want me to..to which i did not reply. He's not making it easy.... Edited November 5, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Tell him if he doesn't stop contacting you and won't leave you alone, then you'll be calling his wife and telling her that he told you he loved you, wanted to have children with you and marry you. That ought to make him stop. If it doesn't, then do tell her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mount Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 :laugh::laugh: Classy. Tell him if he doesn't stop contacting you and won't leave you alone, then you'll be calling his wife and telling her that he told you he loved you, wanted to have children with you and marry you. That ought to make him stop. If it doesn't, then do tell her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 :laugh::laugh: Classy. that's funny, why? Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 Jennifer, if you continue to take his calls, even if you respond negatively, then you are encouraging him and participating in this. If you really do want him to leave you alone, you can make it happen. Block him everywhere. Do not allow him to contact you again. If you don't, you'll get sucked back in. You need to start taking responsibility for your part in this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mount Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 For almost all MMs/OWs' cases, when OWs asked that typical/classical requests for marrying her and having kids with OWs, which means asking MMs leaving wives, that is the typical time to see if MMs still want OWs being the side affair partners even though claiming loving her, or MMs will really leave their wives to marry the OWs and have children with OWs. So basically the part of your scenario is being progressed to that typical stage now. Next step, is that you continue to be the OW (but pls own your part, dont continue claiming to be the victim of Josh anymore), or you will harden the heart, leave Josh alone, basically NC with him. But honestly, I don't see the NC with Josh is happening or will happen. History always repeat itself, no surprise. that's funny, why? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted November 4, 2012 Share Posted November 4, 2012 OP, why are you giving him this power over you? If you don't want to talk with him, don't talk to him, if you don't want to be in an affair with him, then do what it takes to keep that from happening. That means no calls, texts or other contact. Yes, it may be hard, but you're an adult and responsible for your own actions...he can't make you do anything you aren't willing to do. It may feel like he has a hold over you, but he only does if you allow him to. He can't control what you do/don't do...only you can do that. Yes, you may have "loved" him for a long time, but honestly, look at who he is, who he really is. he is a man who is capable of being a total jerk to at least two women who he claims to "love"...is that really the guy you love, or do you simply love an idealized version of him that doesn't really exist? It almost sounds as if you're stuck in the "puppy love" stage with him... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 I can do this. I can reject him. I do respect myself. I thought I'd give him a chance. I knew it was wrong, i know it was just a ploy. He never really "loved" me. He just wanted to screw someone else, didn't want the extra work of scouting out another girl, when there was a perfectly willing one right under his nose... I'm not proud of what I've done. I don't feel I've won anything at all. As a matter of fact, I've lost..my dignity, self esteem, my mind! It hurts right now, badly..but i won't give in. It is a terrible feeling though, to know he was here, with me, in this bed, just the other night. Its hard to get over it so quickly, you know. I can't believe i fell for it. And now, I'll always have that title...the woman who F's other womens husbands... Link to post Share on other sites
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