Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 No, i know. I'm done with with him. I just hate that i said i hated him. I don't really hate him..i am really mad at him, though. Link to post Share on other sites
mercy Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 You've known this man for 17 years, right? You should be a pretty good judge of his character by now. Is he usually honest and truthful or have you caught him in lies before? Do you trust him? He's the same man now as he was before you started the EMR. No one is ever the same after an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 Yeah, I'm gonna go. I've already asked for tomorrow and Wednesday off of work, i need to get away from my life, even just for two days. Josh finally left a message. He said he needed to talk to me, that he knew i didn't mean what i said to him, that he's so sorry.he begged me to call him back. That was at like 5pm. i still haven't called him back. I don't really have anything to say to him anymore. He knows you don't hate him..he said it himself. Satisfied? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 He knows you don't hate him..he said it himself. Satisfied? Yeah, maybe a little. But, i mean, that cannot be the last thing i say to him. Leave me alone, i hate you.. I never imagined myself saying that to him Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 Did you ever imagine him using you for sex? Because that happened too... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 Did you ever imagine him using you for sex? Because that happened too... Good point. I can't believe its over, you know? Like, that couldn't have been it..i expected so much more. Don't get me wrong, sleeping with him was amazing..literally, mind blowing. But i expected something so different. I just feel alone..i hate feeling alone. I'm not a bad person. Why don't i ever find guys that are interested in me? Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 It's not over..it never was. Maybe you don't find guys who are interested in you because you've been obsessed with Josh for 17 years and you've been blowing them all off subconsciously. This is a blessing in disguise. Link to post Share on other sites
Saba Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 (edited) ....I'm not a bad person. Why don't i ever find guys that are interested in me? It sounds like you have not been that open to other people because you have been hoping that you would be with Josh. Now that you have seen what he is like as a partner maybe you can let go of the romantic notion you had of him. This whole experience may help you move past him and be open to meeting someone new. Edited November 6, 2012 by Saba spelling Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 It comes right back to my first post. Why do i feel like we belong together? Why do i keep thinking he's mine? Why, when i imagine my future, is it with him? Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 Because you are obsessed. You should really consider therapy. That's not an insult, it's just a suggestion. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 It comes right back to my first post. Why do i feel like we belong together? Why do i keep thinking he's mine? Why, when i imagine my future, is it with him? Why? Perhaps because you think you have found what you're looking for ... but just because you've found what you're looking for, it doesn't mean it's yours. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 Good point. I can't believe its over, you know? Like, that couldn't have been it..i expected so much more. Don't get me wrong, sleeping with him was amazing..literally, mind blowing. But i expected something so different. I just feel alone..i hate feeling alone. I'm not a bad person. Why don't i ever find guys that are interested in me? You can't find a guy interested in you - because YOU have been unavailable to other men - except Josh. When you become open to moving forward and have a positive outlook toward the "possibilities" - then you will then attract the right guy. Like energy attracts. You've been focused on Josh - thus ruling out anything with any other man. That's why it's important to stop focusing on him - he's not available. Get out there...smile and INTERACT with loads of men... It will come to you - but you have to invite it in. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 (edited) It comes right back to my first post. Why do i feel like we belong together? Why do i keep thinking he's mine? Why, when i imagine my future, is it with him? Because you have built this person up way higher than you should have. He's not all that, Jennifer. He's just got a pretty face, and an eager penis, but look at what he has done to you and his wife. Look at his character. Maybe the sex was mind-blowing because it was the first time with him and you've been longing for this man forever. I don't know. I do know that all that matters is if a man loves you back enough to make you his wife. Josh made somone else his wife, not you. I wonder what his excuse for all the lying will be. I wonder if it's what most of these kinds of liars say after they've gotten the sex, "I'm sorry, I realized that I do love my wife and I want to stay and work on the marriage." But, if he wants to continue to use you it will be more lies to continue to get the sex from you. Most of the women on here thinks he's not done with you yet. Will you believe him? I hope not. He had a chance to leave, he didn't. That really says it all in terms of who he really wants to be with. If he was going to leave, he would have done it. No excuses. He's a lying scumbag. Edited November 6, 2012 by Tara247 Link to post Share on other sites
Tara247 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 And I know you're going to take his calls when you get back home Jennifer just to see what he has to say. And sadly, I think that like the others, you will let this liar back into your bed. Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 Jen; Honestly, I REALLY think this married man is desparate to talk to you so he can "smooth over" the volitale anger you have in the hope that You won't " go off the deep end" and tell His Wife. Example; My husband ended the A w/crazy and played the victim to her that he couldn't leave the kids, I would take him for everything etc but OW would always be his BFF blah blah blah... She bought it and she didn't out him, at first. When she realized it was all bullsh%$ (eight months later), she emailed me & outed their affair. Husband admitted he tried to "end it" on a good note so she wouldn't tell me and I wouldn't get hurt blah blah blah... PLEASE don't believe a word he says about "sorry" or "just wait" or you know blah blah blah* 6 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 And I know you're going to take his calls when you get back home Jennifer just to see what he has to say. And sadly, I think that like the others, you will let this liar back into your bed. Her mother told her to stay away from those people and to not tell his wife. Jen agreed to do so. Therefore there is no reason to take his call. If you want to call someone Jen call his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 It comes right back to my first post. Why do i feel like we belong together? Why do i keep thinking he's mine? Why, when i imagine my future, is it with him? I know that you stated in an earlie post that you do not believe in therapy, but I urge you to reconsider. I truly believe that it would benefit you tremendously...specifically, look for someone who specializes in "cognitive behavioral therapy". Unlike other kinds of counseling, it does not take years to begin feeling/seeing/experiencing the results of CBT. To put it briefly, it teaches you how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think. I can personally attest to how valuable and life-changing it can be. Again, I urge you to check it out before rejecting the possibility. At least Google it. Read a few articles from various sources & I think you'll see what I'm talking about. Here's one to get you started: What is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 It comes right back to my first post. Why do i feel like we belong together? Why do i keep thinking he's mine? Why, when i imagine my future, is it with him? Because you are in love with him and have allowed yourself too close to a man who is married. Because of what you feel for him, you cannot be objective or see the reality - He isn't yours, he isn't leaving and he isn't your future. You're letting your fantasies take you away into la-la land. Jen, it's time to wake up and be strong, stop listening to your emotions which cloud your better judgement. Stop dreaming of him being yours one day. He isn't available and you need to understand this on all levels. Wishing, hoping and fantasizing does no good. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I know that you stated in an earlie post that you do not believe in therapy, but I urge you to reconsider. I truly believe that it would benefit you tremendously...specifically, look for someone who specializes in "cognitive behavioral therapy". Unlike other kinds of counseling, it does not take years to begin feeling/seeing/experiencing the results of CBT. To put it briefly, it teaches you how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think. I can personally attest to how valuable and life-changing it can be. Again, I urge you to check it out before rejecting the possibility. At least Google it. Read a few articles from various sources & I think you'll see what I'm talking about. Here's one to get you started: What is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy? I second this! CBT is not regular therapy, it's so much more than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 Hey guys, hope all of your guys day is going well so far. I just got into my parents, about an hour ago. And i have to say, i do feel a lot better already. The most important thing is not being alone. I do have friends in NYC, but its my fault for neglecting them. Coming home was definitely the right thing to do for me. My sister will be here in afew hours, my brother and sister in law only live 15 minutes away, so they'll be here later too. It feels nice.. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett5 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 Glad you're feeling better Jennifer, use this time to grieve your friendship with Josh....focus on yourself and keep your own best interests at heart. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 Good for you Jen. Nothing like family love. Check in with us when you get back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 7, 2012 Author Share Posted November 7, 2012 Hey guys, still here. I'm doing ok, i guess. Still a little down. He only called twice today. I didn't answer. It doesn't feel right not calling him back. it doesn't feel right to leave it like this. My mom told me something today, about Josh. His mom told my mom that she's been worried about him lately. He's been having problems with work, his marriage..and one more thing that got my attention..fertility issues...he never told me any of that. So they have been trying to have a baby. I don't know what to think about that. He really did take advantage of me. He used me..he lied, about everything. What does he want from me? Why does he keep calling. Thishas GOT to be set straight! He needs to be confronted about this. I have to tell him how i feel. I'm gonna stay calm though. I'm not going to freak out. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Confronting him will do nothing. It will only hurt you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifernyc84 Posted November 7, 2012 Author Share Posted November 7, 2012 Confronting him will do nothing. It will only hurt you. Yeah, but i should let him know that i know. I mean, that was really, really bad. Not just to me, but imagine his wifes perspective. she's trying to get pregnant, and his concern is effing me! I'm so mad...so, sooooo mad. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts