Brit Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 For those who still have to have contact with their abusers, do any of you have experience with WHY that after all is over and done...they have inflicted pain unto you. By the time you have half way recovered, they stick the knife in again for no reason, just for the fact you are still breathing. I do not need to be told how worthless, less educated, stupid, how pathetic my life is and so on...why? We are not together, I may have to contact because of children once or twice a month and he rampages on, "why am I bothering him ALL the time." Making huge lies out of this....I never contact him unnecessarily and taking this verbal beat down is taking it's toll on my healing. Why can he not find someone else to unleash this on? He has zero empathy, and i believe watching me destruct is somewhat amusing to him. He only does this when i am apparently doing well. I am ashamed that I am allowing this (it feels I cannot control it putting me down in a really bad place internally again) to affect me so much. Right when I am in the in control, getting strong and have a careless attitude, the lightening comes striking down:((( Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Next time he tries to bring you down tell him to fck off, laugh then hang up. It feels great. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brit Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 I wish that was possible, but it unleashes an even uglier inner psychotic lech, and he will do things to makes my life more miserable to get even for what he will perceive as, 'getting me back,' which lasts for weeks. I will as I have done before, ignore, then wait for him to come back with I do not contact, and I am neglecting.....it is a never ending battle with the POS! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brit Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 I like to think I am a lady, and I have a conscious, but in regards to this POS, if there was no consequences of jail time (I would not sit in a cell for the ass), I woud take a cold hard steel Colt 45 and blow his kneecaps off, and let the POC limp in misery. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 It's still kind of bad between my exH and me so I ignore him for the most part. Why are you getting in touch with him twice a month? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brit Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 It's still kind of bad between my exH and me so I ignore him for the most part. Why are you getting in touch with him twice a month? Have to because of children. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Have to because of children. Who has custody? Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 They do because it makes them feel good about themselves. Not all people are good, and he is indeed getting happy at the idea of making you miserable. Stay out of it as much as you can, because with history he knows what buttons to push. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 For those who still have to have contact with their abusers, do any of you have experience with WHY that after all is over and done...they have inflicted pain unto you. By the time you have half way recovered, they stick the knife in again for no reason, just for the fact you are still breathing. I do not need to be told how worthless, less educated, stupid, how pathetic my life is and so on...why? We are not together, I may have to contact because of children once or twice a month and he rampages on, "why am I bothering him ALL the time." Making huge lies out of this....I never contact him unnecessarily and taking this verbal beat down is taking it's toll on my healing. Why can he not find someone else to unleash this on? He has zero empathy, and i believe watching me destruct is somewhat amusing to him. He only does this when i am apparently doing well. I am ashamed that I am allowing this (it feels I cannot control it putting me down in a really bad place internally again) to affect me so much. Right when I am in the in control, getting strong and have a careless attitude, the lightening comes striking down:((( The best analogy is that of a parasite. If you remember from high school biology, a parasitic relationship is +/-, meaning one organism gains while the other loses, and one porganism's life enery is increased while the other organism's life energy is drained. An example would be a mosquito, who sucks the blood out of its host. I always used to think that everybody in the world, while imperfect, still tries to improve the lives of others and have fulfilling relationships. But after my experiences, and after reading a book by an expert on Borderline Personality, I now know that some people find satisfaction out of dragging down others and creating chaos in their lives. This was a huge revelation for me. I always used to think, "This person wants to have a good relationship but they just had a rough past...or they are misunderstood...or they just need to be unconditionally loved and it will go away." Then I realized some people WANT to have chaos and spread the chaos to other people. It's truly pathological. Don't try to understand it. The only think you can do is completely disengage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 After my ex broke up with me for the second time,he tried to talk sweet to me and saying he will do anything to make me happy for the rest of my life.Days later,he says I am pressuring him and said we should forget it. Six months later, I get another email but this time he say he will never do it again and that he will pay for me to come and visit him.Which he did.I got sick on the trip and he left me in the hotel and blamed me being sick on not listening to his advice.After I got back home he would hardly talk to me and kept asking me if I have saved any money and paid off my credit card.Then he dumped me again. They do this because we let them! I am so glad that arsehole dumped me and that I will never hear or seem him again.Keeping in contact with a abuser means you will never heal. Link to post Share on other sites
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