dorkyloner Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 I am a sophomore in my college and a girl in my class recently came into contact with me, first on-line via fb and then we communicated via texts and even calls. She hadn't evinced any interest in me in the one year I had known her and her sudden inclination to converse with was a bit of a surprise. (She initiated the chat in the first place). I wasn't attracted to her and in the course of interacting with her, reckoned that she'd make a good friend. Inexplicably, for a friendship that was still at a nascent stage, she was quite open about her life which was contrary to her demeanour while in the college where she came across as a taciturn girl, unwilling to socialize for reasons that were frivolous to say in the least. Anyways, it so happened that she had been in a relationship with a guy a bit older than her for about 2 and a half years, and had just broken-up with him for being flirtatious with other girls...and here she was, flirting with me explicitly! One fine day, she said had patched up with her ex and I was like...Good for you! I was deliberating over why had she started conversing with me in the first place cause I am not a hunk, just an average joe...not unattractive though! Our interaction continued but we seldom, or rather never conversed "substantially" in person except for a few moments after college and whenever I expressed my desire to meet-up with her, She dismissed the suggestion with a rather unusual retort "Time will tell". What the hell was that even supposed to mean? Over the past two weeks, there has been a drastic reduction in our interaction,no texts or calls for 3-5 days at a stretch...which seems unusual because we chatted daily, for an inordinately long time I might add. I enjoyed talking to her and at first, when she went incommunicado for 3 days, I was distraught and morose, and i couldn't explain that feeling because it had only been a month of us interacting and that desperation was disturbing. I don't know whether to retain any form of interest in her since it has been 5 days, the last I heard from her. Should I even bother contacting her? Is she playing mind-games with me? she is struck in my head, which isn't what i want! This is my first-post, so please excuse me for being verbose and any other discrepancies that might have crept-in! Link to post Share on other sites
Jessiboo Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Nice use of vocab. Is that a thesaurus in your pocket or are you just jubilant to see me. Seriously though, I'm sort of going through the whole text withdrawal too, and I understand how frustrating, and hurtful and confusing it can be. Question: Have you contacted her at all since she last contacted you? If not, you could send her a quick, friendly message. It wouldn't hurt. If she doesn't reply to that, well, I guess you know. If you have been contacting her, and she hasn't replied, I'm afraid that's your answer, especially when you consider her reaction to your requests to get together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Yea. well.... uhhhh... tell me one thing.... YOu didnt text her with this serious vocabulary, did you??? lol.. just kidding. In my Opinion, she had an interest at heart, but the unawareness of the whole situation prompted her to stop dead on her tracks. In other words: She thought you were cute. she figured that you werent really interested. she liked the flirting and the attention. She decided that patching things with familiar territory meant stopping communication with her inconclusive conquest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dorkyloner Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 Nice use of vocab. Is that a thesaurus in your pocket or are you just jubilant to see me. Seriously though, I'm sort of going through the whole text withdrawal too, and I understand how frustrating, and hurtful and confusing it can be. Question: Have you contacted her at all since she last contacted you? If not, you could send her a quick, friendly message. It wouldn't hurt. If she doesn't reply to that, well, I guess you know. If you have been contacting her, and she hasn't replied, I'm afraid that's your answer, especially when you consider her reaction to your requests to get together. Guess, am just ecstatic to see you! Thanks for your post! With regards to your question, No, I didn't contact her in the meanwhile. However, upon perusing your suggestion, I sent an affable message; Lo and Behold! She calls in reciprocation and pours our heart out. Seems like she got into some kind of trouble with her on and off boyfriend who doesn't even live in the city. She was depressed and I consoled her and she limped back to normalcy. she claims to have broken up with him but I wouldn't be too sure. I just want to establish a lasting friendship with her and things seem to look alright. Hoping for the best, prepared for the not so good! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dorkyloner Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 Yea. well.... uhhhh... tell me one thing.... YOu didnt text her with this serious vocabulary, did you??? lol.. just kidding. In my Opinion, she had an interest at heart, but the unawareness of the whole situation prompted her to stop dead on her tracks. In other words: She thought you were cute. she figured that you werent really interested. she liked the flirting and the attention. She decided that patching things with familiar territory meant stopping communication with her inconclusive conquest. Thanks for simplifying the situation! You are a genius at uncomplicating things with such consummate ease. I conversed with her yesterday but her habit of giving out mixed signals is quite irksome. I just hope that she makes for a good friend! And yes, I do sometimes text her with precise words for the sake of lucidity. Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Thanks for simplifying the situation! You are a genius at uncomplicating things with such consummate ease. I conversed with her yesterday but her habit of giving out mixed signals is quite irksome. I just hope that she makes for a good friend! And yes, I do sometimes text her with precise words for the sake of lucidity. A great friendship can come out of pure honesty. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I am trying to stay detached in this situation. The thinking part of my brain knows or is at least aware that there is no chance of this becoming anything more. We talked and after considering everything know that it's probably best we just stay friends. (we work in the same building, our age difference, my issues, their issues...it would be allot to work through). We just don't act like utterly platonic friends. Every ounce of non verbal communication contradicts us being platonic. I have friends of both sexes and every gender, we don't look longingly into eachothers eyes, for example. I don't want to live in false hope. Is there any good way to go from being friends with latent sexual/romantic tensions to really truly just friends without having to go NC? Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii50 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Nice use of vocab. Is that a thesaurus in your pocket or are you just jubilant to see me. . bahahaa.. was thinking the same thing! "Wow, good vocab... occasionally, yeaaaaah gotta be a thesaurus... WHEN DOES THIS F'in PARAGRAPH END. Ops, lost my spot again." Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Sorry. I thought I was starting my own thread. Please ignore my last post. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts