Ajheil Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 My girlfriend and I have been seriously dating for about a year and a half. Our relationship began very passionately and we couldn't keep our hands off each other. We had so much to talk about and we were always intertwined. We had sex for the first time about 6 months into the relationship and were very physically and emotionally intimate with each other from then on. We spend a lot of time together and even lived with each other over the summer. We came back to college and are now not living with each other. Since the beginning of the school year, we have not had sex and I became worried that she may not be attracted to me anymore. She says that she is still very attracted to me, but that her libido is just low or something. She is sort of unsure of what is happening. We still kiss and hold hands and I am in love with her. I am wondering if there is anything I could or shouldn't do in order to bring back the physical romance. Does anyone have any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 My girlfriend and I have been seriously dating for about a year and a half. Our relationship began very passionately and we couldn't keep our hands off each other. We had so much to talk about and we were always intertwined. We had sex for the first time about 6 months into the relationship and were very physically and emotionally intimate with each other from then on. We spend a lot of time together and even lived with each other over the summer. We came back to college and are now not living with each other. Since the beginning of the school year, we have not had sex and I became worried that she may not be attracted to me anymore. She says that she is still very attracted to me, but that her libido is just low or something. She is sort of unsure of what is happening. We still kiss and hold hands and I am in love with her. I am wondering if there is anything I could or shouldn't do in order to bring back the physical romance. Does anyone have any suggestions? kissing and holding hands is romantic i dont mean tongue down the throat kissing that is sort of like a drowning experience a bit hard to breathe...but soft kisses can be passionate even when they arent covered in saliva...massages can be romantic especially if they are neck massages..... holding hands can become even more romantic if you actually feel the hand you are holding...some people dont, they hold hands like paws because they think they have to hold that hand...but if you study the beauty of fingertips......the smoothness of skin and if you put your lips to the wrist and try to feel the pulse on your lips and if you get the erratic heart beat in that pulse......and the person knows you can feel it....trust me its romantic..proven by me....if your gf is holding off on sexual contact then i wouldnt push it ...the reason will be apparent when she tells you why and it probably wont be long before she does if you have a good relationship that is honest she will tell you..... romance doesnt have to include any form of physical contact...it can be in laughter shared good times....a dinner that was cooked by you especially for her...vice versa.......a conversation that is passionate can incite romance....a shared interest to be enjoyed together showing love towards other areas of your life and sharing that love with your partner can be romantic going somewhere spur of the moment off the cuff somewhere you both havent been before and exploring new sights and sounds together can not only be romantic but uplifting.....going grocery shopping can be romantic...if you want it to be....time spent together will be what you want that time to be....with a little effort and thought......it takes an instigator and a receptive partner.......thats all it takes......walking at night...i get romantic and i go solo...so i imagine if you took your partner walking at night looking at stars seeing gods green earth in violet how can you not feel romantic.....another thing....flowers are romantic there is a language that flowers hold god made them that way....its the scent...dont buy hydroponically grown flowers buy or borrow with your neighbours permission the prettiest scent you think she will like dont ask her just pick it(this is the romance part)....i love jasmine because it is one flower whose scent comes with night....find what scent your partner suits.......it will be more special because it isnt her flower of choice but yours for her......sex isnt romance....sex is an enhancement a bonding experience for committed and loving relationships....the tips i shared are for romance not sex..you asked about romance anyway....i wish you the best and loads of romance ......deb Link to post Share on other sites
M.I.A Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Hey Ajheil, I think what you describe as your beginnings is similar to many relationships. They start off with physical attraction or in other words lust, arousing your sexual desires. I think it’s important to point out before you were in a physically romance you were in a friendship with your partner which evolved to what you call now love. You say you love your partner and are willing to do things to better the relationship with her. However, I think it’s important to know that love is not only about the physical romance but the fact you’re being intimate, caring and committed to her despite not having sex is showing her more about how much you love her. I believe this might be the first time she has experienced the same thing as you are. She might be thinking about what it means to be in love. You are definitely beyond the passionate stage of love; we like to call the honeymoon stage. Things are becoming more serious and this may be the reason for the two of you not living together anymore. A woman is always looking for security in the future and I think it’s important to let her know you are stable, trustworthy, and kind. Your concern for the physical being an issue is less likely to be the problem and talk about how you can improve your relationship with her because in all reality she is the one who knows why. I wish you the best of luck. Again, it seems you’re willing to do what it takes to improve the relationship but talk to her first before making any decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
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