I'm hoping that someone will understand

[Abilicious]

Dear all

 

I'm new here and would like to explain my situation.

 

I asked my partner to leave a week ago and although its hard I know deep down I've done the right things.

 

We had been together for 7 years. I have a son whom is 10 from a previous relationship and we have a 3 year old daughter together.

 

He is a cannabis addict and after years of him saying he was going to quit and living with a very volatile character that didn't like contributing towards bills and not taking must interest in the children. I had been called awful names the c word, a sl*g and a other horrendous things over the years and sometimes in front of the children.

 

The last straw was when my son broke down to me and said he didn't want him there any more and that he wasn't "worthy" of me. From that day I asked him to leave.

 

I've had no contact other than him threatening to come up and take our daughter when I have told him he needs to calm down before we discuss those types of things. He sends me texts asking about her and I have let me see her Sunday (at his parents) and have been trying to reach agreement about access. Once I think its sorted he leaves it and then text me again changing the goal posts. He demands I text him straight back however when I do reply he doesn't respond to my reply?

 

I know Ive have totally done the right thing and I am proud of myself that I have plucked up the courage after all this time. Cant stop that feeling going away in my tummy either though. He hasnt asked for me back and I don't think he will as I have thrown him out and to be honest I wouldn't take him back, but secretly I hurt he hasn't realised what he has lost.

 

Feel better to write it down, thank you for listening x

[njturnpike]

Good for you for ending it. However, custody issues can get VERY messy. You don't want issues surrounding your child being used to manipulate you. I would suggest meeting with a lawyer and drawing up some official custody documents. If your ex is already trying to change things up on you I really think this is in you and your child's best interest. Good luck!

[todreaminblue]

Most of the people i know and have known smoke cannabis....every single one of them has had their mental capacity diminished they say they have it under control and they are fine the fact is if they continued to smoke constantly they would be fine they of course would need more and more to have the same affect...its when they don't have it problems occur......its a drug that to me causes more damage to family relations than any other as it is merely the first step in avoiding reality and relationships are firmly embedded in reality all relationships.....so they dont gel....i am glad you made the choice to say goodbye, aggression from pot abuse can be pretty vicious......at the moment i have two people in my house who smoke it...not in my house...i fi ask one to go the other has too go too...the other has my daughter involved and i dont want her to go ...so i am at catch 22....i am feeling my way around with eggshells in my way........i have to move slow to make it right....without me going crazy......i am involving my daughter more in the church i go to and giving her a haven i didnt have

 

a refuge when the storm hits, and it will ,it never gets better with drug abuse only worse

 

my faith keeps me going and i am on track....my heart tells me what to do and it tells me to be careful...my life is a work in progress, as is my responsibility to ensure the happiness of my children that they might live and adhere to a drug free environment...good on you for obtaining this dont let him back in....that is my promise........to myself once these influences are out of my home my life and something i dont have to deal with.......they will never reside with me again.........ever......so i can move slow.....i am making permanent changes that will be life long.......deb

Edited October 26, 2012 by todreaminblue