Mrlonelyone Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I am trying to stay detached in this situation. I don't want to live in false hope. The thinking part of my brain knows or is at least aware that there is no chance of this becoming anything more. We talked and after considering everything know that it's probably best we just stay friends. (we work in the same building, our age difference, my issues, their issues...it would be allot to work through). We just don't act like utterly platonic friends. Every ounce of non verbal communication contradicts us being platonic. I have friends of both sexes and every gender, we don't look longingly into eachothers eyes, for example. Is there any good way to go from being friends with latent sexual/romantic tensions to really truly just friends without having to go NC? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 I suppose I could just limit our contact as much as possible. No chit chat, avoid eye contact, pay them less attention than anyone else, spend no more time at the office than is absolutely necessary, just freeze them out as much as possible. Make them a friendly acquaintance, we can't be more than that. Link to post Share on other sites
kamani Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 I don't think you can be friends with her again. Specially, when both of you have feelings for each other. Continuing friendship knowing that you can't have her will cause more pain, more troubles as well. Don't call her a friend, you have feelings for her. "Every ounce of non verbal communication contradicts us being platonic. I have friends of both sexes and every gender, we don't look longingly into eachothers eyes, for example." Well, this sounds disastrous. You are likely to ruin your committed relationships. "Is there any good way to go from being friends with latent sexual/romantic tensions to really truly just friends without having to go NC?" Not possible, I'm sorry. No contact is the only way. I have been there, so don't go there. We didn't go too far, never talked about it, never called each other during office time, other than for duty. But the whole process and the end was so painfull. The longer you get wrapped in this fantacy, the more painful will be the end. One of you have to take the firm decision to change workplace. Even, the sight of each other, with no verbal communication would do no difference. Step back, immediately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 (edited) Well, this sounds disastrous. You are likely to ruin your committed relationships. Neither of us are in committed relationships. We are both playing the field right now. Neither sitting at home sulking, nor dating one person exclusively. So why don't we take the next step and try to make this more? We both have reasons, fears really. Writing that makes me feel foolish...to write off a possibility due to fear. Edited October 24, 2012 by Mrlonelyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted October 26, 2012 Author Share Posted October 26, 2012 After the way we interacted today I just can't do it. Not much was said but it's not the ammount it's the quality. We are at least on the road to being true friends if not lovers at some point. I like this person too much to cut them off totally. Link to post Share on other sites
ses Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 Is there any good way to go from being friends with latent sexual/romantic tensions to really truly just friends without having to go NC? From my personal experience: No. I tried being "just friends" with my best guy friend and we ended up fooling around due to the sexual tension and situational circumstances. If you want to be friends with her, don't put yourself into a situation where things could escalate into something more, unless you both desire it. Don't be overly flirtatious in your words or actions. However... if you want to pursue her romantically then do it. See how she responds to your advances and then proceed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 ses I think you are right. It feels like if we were close enough together and alone we would fly together. Link to post Share on other sites
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