christian dating

[UAcompression]

I moved this here from the dating forum.

 

So I was once an addict and sort of a degenerate gambler. However, I realized that the life I lived was absolute insanity and the only way I can get out of that compulsive state was through faith. I started doing a lot of research and came upon the conclusion that my childhood faith (which I abandoned) of Christianity is the only thing that can save me.

 

 

So i started to attend this church and met a very cute and petite girl who i developed interest for. However, I didn't talk to her that much because I didn't want others to think that I was going to church in the sole interest of woman and I am kind of a class clown/dork type of person. So I emailed as a way of saying hello. We see each other like 2 times a week from mutual events.

 

 

So i asked her out via email to get to know her more. Her response was that she was only interested to be friends. I guess we weren't really friends in the 1st place because i didn't communicate with her too much besides that one email and a hello here and there. After that I kind of threw a fit and told her about my life's story to show that I am willing to open up my heart to her. Her response was something like 'please understand that me not being interested has nothing to do with your past, that is an amazing story' so I pretty much just stopped talking to her altogether and don't even acknowledge her existence after that.

 

 

However, she has been staring at me a lot and also trying to say voluntarily say 'hi' to me. And a few times she walked up to me and said hi and walked away immediately which isn't normal for people in mid to late 20's like us. She laughs a lot at almost everything I say in a mutual setting (I am a funny person though) Should I start to show interest in her again or just back off for good? Also how do I make this not as awkward?

 

I want this to be a christian courting type relationship and save anything too romantic for marriage.

[pie2]

Should I start to show interest in her again or just back off for good?

 

First off, I'm so happy to hear that you've committed your life to the Lord!

 

Regarding your desire to date this girl, I don't think that you have to pick either option. It might be good to just pray about it for awhile, until God gives you an answer. You'll know what the right thing to do is, deep down. That might mean taking things slowly, cooling things off a bit for awhile, building more of a friendship with her, over time.

 

But please don't rush anything. The need for immediate reward, and making rash decisions, didn't prove fruitful in your life in the past. God often operates on a timeline that is much different than we would want, but it's all for the best in the end.

[todreaminblue]

I moved this here from the dating forum.

 

So I was once an addict and sort of a degenerate gambler. However, I realized that the life I lived was absolute insanity and the only way I can get out of that compulsive state was through faith. I started doing a lot of research and came upon the conclusion that my childhood faith (which I abandoned) of Christianity is the only thing that can save me.

 

 

So i started to attend this church and met a very cute and petite girl who i developed interest for. However, I didn't talk to her that much because I didn't want others to think that I was going to church in the sole interest of woman and I am kind of a class clown/dork type of person. So I emailed as a way of saying hello. We see each other like 2 times a week from mutual events.

 

 

So i asked her out via email to get to know her more. Her response was that she was only interested to be friends. I guess we weren't really friends in the 1st place because i didn't communicate with her too much besides that one email and a hello here and there. After that I kind of threw a fit and told her about my life's story to show that I am willing to open up my heart to her. Her response was something like 'please understand that me not being interested has nothing to do with your past, that is an amazing story' so I pretty much just stopped talking to her altogether and don't even acknowledge her existence after that.

 

 

However, she has been staring at me a lot and also trying to say voluntarily say 'hi' to me. And a few times she walked up to me and said hi and walked away immediately which isn't normal for people in mid to late 20's like us. She laughs a lot at almost everything I say in a mutual setting (I am a funny person though) Should I start to show interest in her again or just back off for good? Also how do I make this not as awkward?

 

I want this to be a christian courting type relationship and save anything too romantic for marriage.

 

 

Kudos to ya buddy,

 

 

I too have had an extensive history of denial about who i want and need to be to be happy and even then i have always been a prayer(a believer) i have always believed in god and prayed to him without being part of a church i didnt follow i used to gate crash church meetings actually got a lot of foul looks didn't join those ones...., didnt find the faith i truly believed in until maybe six seven years ago and i have investigated many..my heart leads my faith..fell away from the truth as i was with someone who fought me on it...not with him now and my truth found me this time interstate even ....smilin.....Havent been happier in my life than right now at this point......even though crap still happens i am more alive than i have been in a long time and calmer ...i accept the good with the bad always have....more so now.......

 

its tricky with dating and when you do have strong faith you want to be with someone who follows what you believe in otherwise its a set of problems i have already been through with dating someone who doesn't follow my value system.... not returning back it kills my heart.....so dating a christian who has that connection spiritually is big for me too....and its hard......i am still learning etiquette trying too without looking like a complete dork.....maybe the girl you like goes by the friendship first principle.i follow this belief...sounds like you do too maybe.......i agree with the other poster patience is virtue, praying and perseverance.......allowing your heart to lead you ...i don't know or can't name off the top of my head that is bad from enduring because even when you endure bad times and situations you learn, cancelling out any negativity along the way.........

 

 

patience comes with steadfastness also a quiet calm....that can come from praying whatever and whenever it does come from the highest source(your faith in god) to within you...its all good....

i think you should go ahead be a friend and move slowly, pray adn have hope, again the other poster gave great advice.....this is no sprint to the finsih line fro any of us .....take it slow when you want things to last longer to me that is logical not even a question of faith ..simple logic...god gave that anyway .forever is a long time...lol..try and enjoy everything you can including the journey , including the mistakes and the goofs you learn from....and i wish you the best through good times and bad....and the journey you are on .....smilin atcha ....deb

[UAcompression]

First off, I'm so happy to hear that you've committed your life to the Lord!

 

Regarding your desire to date this girl, I don't think that you have to pick either option. It might be good to just pray about it for awhile, until God gives you an answer. You'll know what the right thing to do is, deep down. That might mean taking things slowly, cooling things off a bit for awhile, building more of a friendship with her, over time.

 

But please don't rush anything. The need for immediate reward, and making rash decisions, didn't prove fruitful in your life in the past. God often operates on a timeline that is much different than we would want, but it's all for the best in the end.

 

Thanks, that was helpful

[UAcompression]

Kudos to ya buddy,

 

 

I too have had an extensive history of denial about who i want and need to be to be happy and even then i have always been a prayer(a believer) i have always believed in god and prayed to him without being part of a church i didnt follow i used to gate crash church meetings actually got a lot of foul looks didn't join those ones...., didnt find the faith i truly believed in until maybe six seven years ago and i have investigated many..my heart leads my faith..fell away from the truth as i was with someone who fought me on it...not with him now and my truth found me this time interstate even ....smilin.....Havent been happier in my life than right now at this point......even though crap still happens i am more alive than i have been in a long time and calmer ...i accept the good with the bad always have....more so now.......

 

its tricky with dating and when you do have strong faith you want to be with someone who follows what you believe in otherwise its a set of problems i have already been through with dating someone who doesn't follow my value system.... not returning back it kills my heart.....so dating a christian who has that connection spiritually is big for me too....and its hard......i am still learning etiquette trying too without looking like a complete dork.....maybe the girl you like goes by the friendship first principle.i follow this belief...sounds like you do too maybe.......i agree with the other poster patience is virtue, praying and perseverance.......allowing your heart to lead you ...i don't know or can't name off the top of my head that is bad from enduring because even when you endure bad times and situations you learn, cancelling out any negativity along the way.........

 

 

patience comes with steadfastness also a quiet calm....that can come from praying whatever and whenever it does come from the highest source(your faith in god) to within you...its all good....

i think you should go ahead be a friend and move slowly, pray adn have hope, again the other poster gave great advice.....this is no sprint to the finsih line fro any of us .....take it slow when you want things to last longer to me that is logical not even a question of faith ..simple logic...god gave that anyway .forever is a long time...lol..try and enjoy everything you can including the journey , including the mistakes and the goofs you learn from....and i wish you the best through good times and bad....and the journey you are on .....smilin atcha ....deb

 

I see, now that I think about it, all Christians should be friends first in starting a relationship. I didn't know that and kind of panicked thinking that she was just telling me I'm not anything that she would like or at her level.

[BetheButterfly]

I see, now that I think about it, all Christians should be friends first in starting a relationship. I didn't know that and kind of panicked thinking that she was just telling me I'm not anything that she would like or at her level.

 

I agree about being friends first. Quality friendship is something that sad to say some people do not deem a priority concerning their marriage partner. Most Christians who take their faith seriously believe that dating (if they date) leads to marriage. Marriage is a very serious commitment that involves work. Friendship and enjoying time together really helps!!!

 

My husband and I met online and for several months before meeting each other face to face, we talked on the phone almost everyday. That was a great blessing because we developed a great friendship and respect for each other which was not centered on appearances or sexual attraction. When we met, the chemistry was electrifying!!! Not only were we attracted to each other's shells (bodies), but our friendship and respect for each other made the chemistry even more powerful!

 

As for this girl, I would encourage you to just decide right now to be friends with her and see what happens. If God wills, it could develop into courtship or dating. One thing that is awesome to do in church single groups is to go bowling or to restaurants with a lot of other singles and just have fun! That is a great way to get to know people! Now, if this girl is not the one who God has for you, don't sweat it. Sometimes God brings the right people together after they have learned to wait. That has been my personal experience.