pathetic1999 Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 I had a guy ask for my number Saturday after we talked for over 2.5 hours in a coffee shop, where he approached me! He made a big deal out of calling me too how he doesn't text etc so he will call not text. Now it's Tuesday night and nothing. I had another guy recently do something similar, I mean what the heck! Link to post Share on other sites
NYC-BigKat Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 I had a guy ask for my number Saturday after we talked for over 2.5 hours in a coffee shop, where he approached me! He made a big deal out of calling me too how he doesn't text etc so he will call not text. Now it's Tuesday night and nothing. I had another guy recently do something similar, I mean what the heck! These guys suck! I always call & text girls every day once I get a number. I think u should exchange numbers next time so u can try to call back. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 These guys suck! I always call & text girls every day once I get a number. Back it down, partner. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 That's just pathetic....sorry I couldn't hellp that response. Who knows. People do weird crap. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 (edited) I had a guy ask for my number Saturday after we talked for over 2.5 hours in a coffee shop, where he approached me! He made a big deal out of calling me too how he doesn't text etc so he will call not text. Now it's Tuesday night and nothing. I had another guy recently do something similar, I mean what the heck! Honestly, no idea. I think it might be an ego thing. I've had men do this to me too....I've stopped wondering why, and if I don't get a call/text within the next 2 days after meeting a guy, I delete his number and stop thinking about him/ the whole thing. 2 days is my maximum. I don't do 3-day contact rules, etc. No excuse for it in this day and age. If a guy is playing games to boost his ego, I am not going to entertain his mind games. Even 2 days is too much, but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt in case he got terribly busy or something happened, etc. Still, anything short of him being hospitalized for life-threatening injuries, does not excuse not calling or at least texting within 36-48 hrs. Seriously, how much time/effort does texting someone take? I get that calling might be unnerving for some guys who are shy, but a text too? Seriously? As a rule, if I like a guy enough, I will also get his number. I don't like being so passive as to just give him my #. I feel that I should also show some interest and have the option of initiating contact. I did this a few days ago with a guy who approached me. He didn't text me for 2 days, so I texted him saying I had a good time with him, and that it would be great to meet again soon, and suggested dinner. Left the ball in his court. He didn't reply for a full day after my text. Pissed me off. I deleted his number and just gave up on him. Then, a day and a half later, he texted me saying he would love to go to dinner with me... I'm gonna go, but honestly, he is not off to a good start with me. It's a big turnoff when a guy does this. I don't get along with guys who blow hot then cold then hot again then cold again. If you are interested in me, show some constancy. Edited October 24, 2012 by NoMoreJerks Link to post Share on other sites
CutieB Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 I had a guy ask for my number Saturday after we talked for over 2.5 hours in a coffee shop, where he approached me! He made a big deal out of calling me too how he doesn't text etc so he will call not text. Now it's Tuesday night and nothing. I had another guy recently do something similar, I mean what the heck! lml this never happen to me. every guy couldnt wait to call me after they got my number. thats how it is in hs I guess. forget those lame *******s. they just scared thats all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pathetic1999 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 He gave me his number, he put mine in his phone then called me so I would have his. But the thing is he said I will call you...So I feel stupid making the first move, I am not a shy person so normally it would not bother me at all, but being that he said I will call you I don't feel it's up to me. Am I wrong? And now it's been 3 days and tomorrow will be 4 so anything I text at this point would be LAME. sigh. He gave off a real down to earth guy vibe too. Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Same reason as why women give you their number but never answer/reply. They no longer feel interested/attracted to you. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Some guys go out with the mindset of approaching women just to get rid of their fear of approach anxiety. If on a PUA forum, they'll record their approaches--there have been many a time where a guy said something along the lines of "I approached this 5, she definitely wasn't attractive but I thought what the hell, it should be easy. I got the number but obviously not gonna call. Just gave me the confidence to approach the 7.5 I saw later on" Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 He gave me his number, he put mine in his phone then called me so I would have his. But the thing is he said I will call you...So I feel stupid making the first move, I am not a shy person so normally it would not bother me at all, but being that he said I will call you I don't feel it's up to me. Am I wrong? And now it's been 3 days and tomorrow will be 4 so anything I text at this point would be LAME. sigh. He gave off a real down to earth guy vibe too. OK, well, he said he will call, maybe he's not interested -- if you want to be sure, text him yourself (nothing wrong with that, you won't come off as being needy -- showing interest is not = showing neediness ) -- just say that you had a good time the other night, and would love to hang out again. See what he says, or if he responds at all. But honestly, at this point, I'd just send that text and delete his number. Even if he replies, I wouldnt' really take him seriously anymore, because clearly, I am only an option/fallback person for him. In this day and age, no one is too busy not to be able to call, let alone text, in 4 days... Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Generally speaking, a guy who has the balls to get your number from a cold approach like that has also collected several other numbers over the last week or two. If he didn't call you, it's because one of the others became a higher priority. Link to post Share on other sites
Leegh Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Not enough time has gone by. I've had guys call me after a month or more. I would say there is a very good chance he will still call. Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Honestly, no idea. I think it might be an ego thing. I've had men do this to me too....I've stopped wondering why, and if I don't get a call/text within the next 2 days after meeting a guy, I delete his number and stop thinking about him/ the whole thing. 2 days is my maximum. I don't do 3-day contact rules, etc. No excuse for it in this day and age. If a guy is playing games to boost his ego, I am not going to entertain his mind games. Even 2 days is too much, but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt in case he got terribly busy or something happened, etc. Still, anything short of him being hospitalized for life-threatening injuries, does not excuse not calling or at least texting within 36-48 hrs. Seriously, how much time/effort does texting someone take? I get that calling might be unnerving for some guys who are shy, but a text too? Seriously? As a rule, if I like a guy enough, I will also get his number. I don't like being so passive as to just give him my #. I feel that I should also show some interest and have the option of initiating contact. I did this a few days ago with a guy who approached me. He didn't text me for 2 days, so I texted him saying I had a good time with him, and that it would be great to meet again soon, and suggested dinner. Left the ball in his court. He didn't reply for a full day after my text. Pissed me off. I deleted his number and just gave up on him. Then, a day and a half later, he texted me saying he would love to go to dinner with me... I'm gonna go, but honestly, he is not off to a good start with me. It's a big turnoff when a guy does this. I don't get along with guys who blow hot then cold then hot again then cold again. If you are interested in me, show some constancy. You may have the luxury of deleting men after 2 days, but I think most average-looking women shouldn't be so quick to dismiss. I think women don't realize how often guys get rejected and their phone calls unanswered. While a coffee shop meeting is more "solid sure date" than being drunk at a bar; there are so many slightly drunk or flirtatious girls at bars that give out their numbers just to be 'nice' or get an ego boost but never answer or return calls. Just be happy that you don't get "stalker guys" who e-mail and call just after one meeting. There are just as many girls who complain about "stalker guys" coming on too strong than guys who never call. I think the longest you should wait is 7 days. People are busy during the week, with work, activities, etc. Its not always easy to call or plan a date. One of the safer "non-rejection activities" is inviting a girl to a big party. That way if she declines the date or doesn't answer back, its not as bad as being rejected outright. Also, girls don't realize that guys are a lot busier with work, sports, video games, tv shows, etc. and guys don't spend all day obsessing about calling a girl. But getting back to the OP, I think a coffee shop close is a more reliable sure thing, since the girl is obviously not drunk; but the guy may think she is just giving out her number to be nice or overly flirtatious. The maximum you should wait is 7 days. Two days is too soon because he may be busy with other things and doesn't want to appear too needy. If he is poor, he might not want to splurge on an expensive date, but want a casual hookup or he's waiting for the weekend to figure out his plans before committing to any dates with you. Depending on your looks, the guy just might not be interested. He might also have numbers from a few different girls, so its not like you are the only girl in his life at this time. I think guys are scarred and gun-shy because of so many rejections. Its really up to the female to call and get a solid "yes/no" answer these days as a feminist, instead of waiting by the phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pathetic1999 Posted October 25, 2012 Author Share Posted October 25, 2012 Just thought I would update had a super busy day at work today with a conference and training and all and honestly (surprisingly!) hadn't thought of him today, low and behold he texted me this afternoon! He apologized for texting said this week has been so crazy but would really like to meet up this week if I had time. I only had tomorrow night open so we are meeting up tomorrow! Link to post Share on other sites
GirlontheLam Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 I had a guy ask for my number Saturday after we talked for over 2.5 hours in a coffee shop, where he approached me! He made a big deal out of calling me too how he doesn't text etc so he will call not text. Now it's Tuesday night and nothing. I had another guy recently do something similar, I mean what the heck! This has happened a bunch to me lately too. Losers! Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 Generally speaking, a guy who has the balls to get your number from a cold approach like that has also collected several other numbers over the last week or two. If he didn't call you, it's because one of the others became a higher priority. Took the words right out of my mouth! For me asking a woman I just met for a number isn't easy so if I do rest assured I'm calling! Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 Just thought I would update had a super busy day at work today with a conference and training and all and honestly (surprisingly!) hadn't thought of him today, low and behold he texted me this afternoon! He apologized for texting said this week has been so crazy but would really like to meet up this week if I had time. I only had tomorrow night open so we are meeting up tomorrow! Busy, ambitious, charismatic men are generally not "long phone conversation talkers." Men are always in action and doing things. Men don't call "just to talk about your day." Men only call if they want to plan something to do. If you are complaining about a guy not calling after 2 days, then that says more about your insecurity; and it shows you're not a confident, independent, stable woman. I don't know your age, but only the women over 30 should worry about wasting time and days slipping away. You just met the guy, he's a total stranger, and you're acting like you're married to him for not hearing back after 48 hours. Also, you had his phone number. You could have called or texted him on day 2 or day 3, just to see whether he was interested or not. The most you should wait is 7 days or the weekend. Guys will usually call if they want to make plans with you for the weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 I think the guys who ask for numbers but don't call only ask because they think it would hurt your feelings if they didn't. It is also a way for them to end a conversation on a good note. It's wrong but some people are cowards. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 i think some men really do have a little black book that they collect and keep women's numbers in. Like those people who take pictures of all their meals. Makes them feel better when they look at all of them. I usually get their number. Takes the guesswork out for me. Link to post Share on other sites
MissJoness Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 I've had something similar happen to me. This guy would always compliment me everytime he saw me by telling me how wonderful I looked. He would say "wow everytime I see you, you always look so nice". Other times he would call me "sexy". So I asked for his phone number. I called it, and it was the WRONG number. When I saw him again, he gave me some b.s. excuse about his cell phone not working. I don't get it. Since then I always let the guy make the first move by asking me for MY number. Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 I think the guys who ask for numbers but don't call only ask because they think it would hurt your feelings if they didn't. It is also a way for them to end a conversation on a good note. It's wrong but some people are cowards. If the guy is good-looking, then the reason he didn't call is because he has a girlfriend already, and was just flirting and leading you on. Maybe he wanted an ego boost or was bored with his girlfriend and wanted to feel better. If the girl is good-looking, then most guys will eventually call in the hopes of one day hooking up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pathetic1999 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Share Posted October 26, 2012 Busy, ambitious, charismatic men are generally not "long phone conversation talkers." Men are always in action and doing things. Men don't call "just to talk about your day." Men only call if they want to plan something to do. If you are complaining about a guy not calling after 2 days, then that says more about your insecurity; and it shows you're not a confident, independent, stable woman. I don't know your age, but only the women over 30 should worry about wasting time and days slipping away. You just met the guy, he's a total stranger, and you're acting like you're married to him for not hearing back after 48 hours. Also, you had his phone number. You could have called or texted him on day 2 or day 3, just to see whether he was interested or not. The most you should wait is 7 days or the weekend. Guys will usually call if they want to make plans with you for the weekend. It's as if you didn't read anything I wrote... Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 It's as if you didn't read anything I wrote... My point is if you are going to have that much anxiety after 48 hours, I would be very surprised if you are able to maintain a relationship. Its good that he finally called you. Maybe you are the type of girl that is really sensitive and easily hurt. Maybe you are very young and haven't dated a lot. I was just saying, that a lot of guys are "Not gabby phone call talkers" and guys are much better "in person talkers" so its not always the easiest thing to call up a girl immediately, think of something to say, and plan a date activity. Guys are a little scared, but they're mostly clueless about "taking the lead in dating romance." Believe it or not, guys think very little about dating romance, guys don't watch 'romantic comedies' and have no idea how to impress a woman. The few men who have figured out "romance" become "Players" because they realize just how much better they are than 99% of the other lazy men out there, and can attract so many more girls that they don't need to be monogamous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 so true it hurts ^ not all guys, but yeah most. Thats why i'm glad i wasn't born with a cock. I'd be such a slut :) Link to post Share on other sites
Author pathetic1999 Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 My point is if you are going to have that much anxiety after 48 hours, I would be very surprised if you are able to maintain a relationship. Its good that he finally called you. Maybe you are the type of girl that is really sensitive and easily hurt. Maybe you are very young and haven't dated a lot. I was just saying, that a lot of guys are "Not gabby phone call talkers" and guys are much better "in person talkers" so its not always the easiest thing to call up a girl immediately, think of something to say, and plan a date activity. Guys are a little scared, but they're mostly clueless about "taking the lead in dating romance." Believe it or not, guys think very little about dating romance, guys don't watch 'romantic comedies' and have no idea how to impress a woman. The few men who have figured out "romance" become "Players" because they realize just how much better they are than 99% of the other lazy men out there, and can attract so many more girls that they don't need to be monogamous. I get it but no I am not young but I do have limited dating experience I was married for 11 years and then in another long term relationship for 2.5 years, it was never this hard with them! I prefer not to gab on the phone and just set up a date and go! I just have always heard if a guy is into you they will contact you right away (1-3 days) because they are excited to hang out. I suppose I do have some anxiety just because I feel new to all of this again and have no clue what to expect! Link to post Share on other sites
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