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I still think about finding my rapist


WaterlilySue

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If I ever saw the man that raped me 12 years ago (now I'm almost 20), it would be hard for me to walk away from that and not jujitsu him.

 

Just recently, a couple hours ago to be exact, I really thought I found him and said something like ''You didn't think I would find you did you?''only to realized it was the wrong guy as he looked at me as if I were crazy and told me to find a shrink.

 

I know his name and remembered what he looked like and what he was wearing. Still having no luck in finding him.

 

In this case, if I found him can I go jujitsu on him?

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Not even with his name?

 

 

I the Jujitsuin' him is the veryververyverveyrvery least you can do. hiyah!

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I the Jujitsuin' him is the veryververyverveyrvery least you can do. hiyah!
That's the only person I want to hurt so badly and I could if I found him and wanted to.

 

Did I asked to be raped at an early age? Because of him, I'm always on the watchout and distrustful by nature. I know who is a creep and who isn't.

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todreaminblue
If I ever saw the man that raped me 12 years ago (now I'm almost 20), it would be hard for me to walk away from that and not jujitsu him.

 

Just recently, a couple hours ago to be exact, I really thought I found him and said something like ''You didn't think I would find you did you?''only to realized it was the wrong guy as he looked at me as if I were crazy and told me to find a shrink.

 

I know his name and remembered what he looked like and what he was wearing. Still having no luck in finding him.

 

In this case, if I found him can I go jujitsu on him?

 

 

No you cant go karate him..... and you cant take him to court either...there's no use thinking like this you are returning his power and control by allowing yourself to feed him with the fact he has caused you ill....feelings of aggression towards another is a reaction and you are reacting, your rapist wants to know he has had an affect on you changed your life made you hate.....that's control over someone for how many years he would orgasm over that with the black eye you gave do you want that??????....let it go...its over....reclaim the night fellow survivor...i reclaimed mine, reclaim your integrity your surviving skills celebrate...your strength to be forgiving and allow god to exact justice on his butt......if he changes his life around and takes up his license to be saved.........he has done nothing now to affect you .......and if he has been reborn....he will never do that to someone else and someone wont cop what you have ....pray for that and let it go..fidn peace in these facts....justice is swift to those who hurt others innocents...believe that.......God sees all........knows all....and your rapist will stand accountable if he doesnt change his ways....pray that he has....for others not only yourself who may suffer at the hands of cruelty that belong to your rapist...hope he has changed....not that you see him...it would not do you any favors....hugs from me to you..deb

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Yea I know the feeling. :(

 

So how did you know him?

 

Oh no that means u was only 8 years old :sick:. So so sorry for u. How did he even get close to u? Was he a friend of the family & took advantage of u?!

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Yea I know the feeling. :(

 

So how did you know him?

I stupidly answered the door one night instead of looking through the little doorhole.
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Oh no that means u was only 8 years old :sick:. So so sorry for u. How did he even get close to u? Was he a friend of the family & took advantage of u?!
Nope, he was a complete stranger. I thought it my cousin stopping by for a visit with her parents.

 

I think the stranger came to rob but since I answered the door, he raped me and didn't care when I started screaming and told him no many times.

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Oh no that means u was only 8 years old :sick:. So so sorry for u. How did he even get close to u? Was he a friend of the family & took advantage of u?!
I was 7 then.
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Nope, he was a complete stranger. I thought it my cousin stopping by for a visit with her parents.

 

I think the stranger came to rob but since I answered the door, he raped me and didn't care when I started screaming and told him no many times.

 

wooooowwwww thats sad. where was your parents? why was u all alone like that?

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Nope, he was a complete stranger. I thought it my cousin stopping by for a visit with her parents.

 

I think the stranger came to rob but since I answered the door, he raped me and didn't care when I started screaming and told him no many times.

 

He's a pedo!! Dont worry he'll rot in hell forever after what he did to u :mad:.

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wooooowwwww thats sad. where was your parents? why was u all alone like that?
They were going to drop of something at my aunt's house. They weren't even gone for too long and that's when that happened.

 

Ever since then, they never left me alone for one second and I could hear both of them kept blaming each other.

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They were going to drop of something at my aunt's house. They weren't even gone for too long and that's when that happened.

 

Ever since then, they never left me alone for one second and I could hear both of them kept blaming each other.

 

soooo ****ed up sorry to that happen to you. and he is a pedofile! did he even say anything at all to you? did he leave or take any stuff?

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soooo ****ed up sorry to that happen to you. and he is a pedofile! did he even say anything at all to you? did he leave or take any stuff?
He left after it was done; as if it meant nothing to him.

 

While I was screaming, he kept saying Shut the **** up already.

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He left after it was done; as if it meant nothing to him.

 

While I was screaming, he kept saying Shut the **** up already.

 

omg this sounds like a planned attack or something. maybe he knew you was alone because you say he just left afterwards. pedofile!!

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I was 7 then.

 

I'm sorry. XO

 

Did your parents file a police report? When you went to the hospital did they get a semen sample?

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I'm so sorry to hear what happened. I'm not surprised you want to find him and kill him. It seems completely natural to me that you'd want to (a) punish him and (b) make sure he's not still walking the earth.

 

However, have you had any counselling to help you with all this? I'm not saying any of your feelings are wrong, not at all. I'm just thinking counselling might help you to cope and give you some outlet for your feelings. What an awful thing to have had to deal with at such a young age. I do hope you can find some peace and that his guy is caught and dealt with.

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