she wants to be with me still but she has to find herself

[bdavis]

my wife of six years just told me that she loves me but shes not i love with me any more !! our son is 21 months and i just came back from over seas i was in the service and suffered a injury now I'm home . she said that it's nothing to do with me it's just her and that she wants to be with me still but she has to find herself ? i asked her what does this make me? am i still your husband or what? do you still want me she said its just not the same it hurts her to say it to me . there is so much more to this like she had some guy calling her only on the days when i was at work (after 530 Tuesday's and Sunday's ) he was cool about it and said he didn't know and he would stop but she lied to me and said that he wasnt calling any more ! i love my wife and my family and im home to enjoy them now and every thing is falling apart i don't know what im doing wrong can any one help me please help me save all i have left

 

thanks

 

Bdavis

 

p's sorry for the bad writing im frantic

[firewife]

My husband is in the military as well,I've heard alot of stories about couples breaking up after a delpoyment.

You see, when our husbands leave,we have to continue our lives without them, become more independant. Sorry to say it, but alot of times we get so used to being on our own,that we start to feel we dont need our husbands. I mean, it's not on purpose, but it happens. Things change when you're gone, she has been on her own. she's not used to you being there anymore, you two have probably grown farther apart while you were gone.

 

It's a risky game to play, but I know that when my husband leaves, I have to let him go emotionally a little too, so it's not so hard for me. Otherwise, I dont think I could handle it, too much pain.

I think she just needs some time to get closer to you again, to know you again. It's almost like starting at the beginning, even tho you have history. Talk with her, thank her for waiting for you, tell her how much you missed her,how proud of her you are, for managing without you, taking care of the baby alone. Remind her she's not alone anymore, dont wait for her to ask you for help, just do it. Re insert yourself into her life,gently. Don't be the bull in the china shop. You have to get to know each other again, it may take some time, but I think she'll remember why she fell in love with you in the first place.

 

I hope things work out for you.

[bdavis]

we had a lone talk that lasted the past few days and i still dont know if we have resolved any thing .today she said that she still wants to be with me but is it possibile for her to date other people and keep me to! i said the night befor e that if thats what she wanted she wont be dong it with me around that either she's with me or not with me and if she want's to be with other people than thats her choice ! then she said i still love you but i miss being with other people and i qoute (you know that feeling you get when you first meet someone ) i said yes and sometimes i miss that but then i look at what i have now and relize every day is like the first day i meet you . then she said that she misses what it used to be like and that she doesnt want to lose me and doesnt want me to hate her ! good this is getting so out of control i dont know what to do at all !! i tried to get us in a marrage counsler but she didnt want to go and made up a ton of stuff to do so that we couldnt make the apointment then today we started talking again and she said that she feels like shes tied down !

i said i teel you what how about we lay down some ground rules so that we dont do thing s that make each other feel bad . i said if you want to go out with your friends fine just call and let me know your alive and what time youll be in .she said the same goes for you even though you already do it 1

2 if you going to have male friends i would like to meet them just to say hello

so i at least know who they are.

then she said well that one thing when i told my friend that she had to meet you she said what is this meet the parents ! wtf

i said wouldnt you want to meet who im going out with if i go she said yes i said its just simple respect right

then she said when i went to pick her up last night she felt like i was checking up on her because i was parked some where different and my lights where off (keep in mide that our son was asleep in the back seat and the parking lot was full so my normal spot was taken )

then when i asked her where her class was she said that i was trying to check up on her (i was trying to send her flowers in class )

she said her and her friend where saying they would rather have the money that we would have sent on the flowers so i gave it to her and she gave it back .

then she said i really want to be honest but i dont want you to hate me

i was quite and ask why ?

then she said i want to date other people and goe places with out me because she feels like in her best friend that she gets to bang and then she laughed .

i said thank you for your honesty

then she said is that posible for me to date other people and keep you (i was quite ) then she can and sat on my lap and said well ?

i didnt answer then she got mad and said she i cant even talk to you with out you getting mad ! wtf

she said what are you thinking about ? i said every thing she said like what i said like you wanting to date other people and me still be your husband.

i said would you want me to do that to you how would it feel she said NO

and that she is very sexually satisfied with our realtionship and thats its not about finding someone new ? wtf

 

and this is where im at today folks

can any one help me ??

 

signed help

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