2 Years Later

[J0N]

Well it has been just over 2 years since me and my ex split up. This whole experience really changed me; it even surprises me how much I have matured in these two years. I have not spoken one word to my ex since she dumped me, nor have I seen her. Shortly after the breakup, I slammed the digital door shut (not in a psycho way or anything) I blocked her on FB, and deleted her number. I never called her again. As far as she was concerned I fell off the planet. I figured this was the best thing to do as she seemed to have her mind made up, I felt trying to get back together would have only caused further damage.

 

I was planning to propose to her during the holidays of 2010 until she dumped me. I used the money I had saved for a ring to move to a new city and jump start my new life. As a result I got a great job, and I now live in an awesome city and I can honestly say that things have worked out career wise. I have been on a few dates here and there, but I have not felt any spark with anyone new, but at this point I am in no rush to get into anything serious. I have actually enjoyed being single, I have saved a ton of money, and now I am at a point where if Mrs. Right did come along, I would be ready to rock and roll (settle down).

 

When we first broke up, I blocked her and all mutual friends (who I had become friends with as a result of dating her). Last year on the 1yr anniversary of the split, I took these down. I figured it was a little crazy and at that point I just didn’t care anymore. A few of them I have reconnected with and told the story of why I did it, for the most part they understand. On Sunday (2 yr anniversary of split) I finally unblocked my ex; I figure that if I cannot handle seeing pictures of her happy with someone else after two years then I probably never will. As far as I know though she is still single, either way I am ok with it. I just hope she finds somebody who can make her happy. I feel that at least for me that this is a big step forward (as cheesy as it seems).

 

At this point if she reaches out to me, I will be respectful and hear her out. I strongly doubt that this will ever happen, I don’t think she has the depth or maturity to ever face me again. After everything I did for her and her family, the way she dumped me (for no real reason) was incredibly childish, like something a 12 year old would do. At this point I am primarily focused on (continuing to) move forward and putting this part of my life past me once and for all. If I said I didn’t still have dreams or miss her, I would be lying, but I have gotten to a point where I am at peace with it.

 

Frankly after a lot of deep thought on the matter, marrying her would have been a mistake… I think her dumping me turned out to be a blessing in disguise after all.

[PYTpisces]

It sounds like you're doing great and are reaching a great place in your life! Is there something us readers might be missing about any encouragement or insight you are looking for?? if so, let us know! Otherwise, congrats and KEEP GOING!!

[Sugarkane]

So a blessing when they do it this way. I think I'm also about 2 years NC. I haven't run into him or talked to him. Sometimes I wonder if we did the right thing doing strict NC.

[J0N]

So a blessing when they do it this way. I think I'm also about 2 years NC. I haven't run into him or talked to him. Sometimes I wonder if we did the right thing doing strict NC.

 

Yes, so true. There is definitely a part of me that wishes she was still in my life. I was mostly looking for opinions on the FB thing, maybe if anybody has done anything similar.

 

Honestly though, I do wonder myself if strict IRON CLAD NC was the best move. I guess I will never know.

 

One night me and my dad got to talking about her and our relationship. He made a great point, he said that breaking up (being dumped) is a lot like getting fired. You are not really going to be friends. Take for example my previous ex, I dumped her in a similar way (I was young and immature). I ran into her at a bar about a year ago and we had a long talk. I told her I was sorry for everything I did and how immature I was. I picked up her tab, gave her a hug and left. We are 'friends' again, she occasionally comments on something I put on FB or whatever, but neither of us go out of our way to hang out. That night at the bar was great closure for her. I was honestly pretty over it shortly after we broke up (the relationship ran its course, and I didn't really see a future with her)

 

I feel that I am ready for my current ex to do the same thing. But like I said she will never do it.

 

She was really awful to me, after everything I did for her and her family. I do still have some contempt for her because of this. I really do feel like I deserve an apology from my current ex, but I am not exactly sitting by the phone waiting for it. I also have no desire whatsoever to reconcile with her.

 

Idk, the fact that it has been two years and I still even entertain these thoughts really drives home the impact that this girl had on me. This was literally the most difficult thing I have ever dealt with in my life (emotionally). I am so much stronger now because of it.

[J0N]

Another thing, one of the main reasons I did the fall off the earth thing is because of something that had happened to her sister. She had a crazy ex bf who slashed her tires and even broke into her apartment and beat her up. I took turns with my ex's brother to stay at her place and make sure she was safe after that happened.

 

For the last summer we were together (I was looking for a job at the time) I spent several thousand dollars commuting to where her sister lived to keep her company. Much more than my ex did.

 

My ex's father was a big shot lawyer and eventually screwed that kid to the wall.

 

I would have never hurt my ex, and I made it clear to her when we broke up that I would never harm her or her family.

 

I still do not understand what exactly caused the sudden change of heart on her part. As far as I/her friends know she wasn't cheating, and she hasn't really been dating since our relationship. Something had to be going on, she did move to CA right after she dumped me. Maybe that was it. I was determined to let her do what she wanted and not interrogate her or ask to many questions. After all I loved her (past tense) and I wanted her to be happy even if it was not with me.

 

who knows... :/

 

Either way I have moved on, FORWARD!

 

Another thing that bothers me, I met a great girl who lives in the state that I am from when I went home a few months ago. Sparks were flying when we were together. Of course that would happen. Very frustrating.

[Sugarkane]

I still don't think that's an excuse to be a major Ahole, while dumping someone. I wondered about the same things, but have never ran into my ex. Sometimes I wonder about that.