The Break Up Email and Craigslist Post

[michellew]

For those of you that have been following the thread I started yesterday, I want to say thank you for helping me get through this! It's only been 36 hours since I ended things, but I am seeing things from an entirely different view now. I was tempted to text him last night, but instead I posted in the "Missed Connections" section of Craigslist, knowing he will never see it. (Silly I Know, but whatever works! ha)

 

People's stories here are what inspired me to end things and are helping me through this. I do not want to be that woman that withers away for years while waiting for something she will never have. We are better than that! If your MM sees something "amazing" in you that he just can't resist which led him to the A, then there are other people out there that are single, available, and feel the same way about you! I am going to paste the break up email and CL post below, in hopes of reaching someone who needs that extra push to leave their MM or MW. From reading, you will see that my situation is no different than yours and you need to stop making excuses for your lover. As I read my CL post, I realize how pathetic it is that I am the one worried about HIS feelings.

 

BREAK UP EMAIL:

Love Monkey,

 

As I drove to work this morning, a song came on that I hadn't heard in

ages and in an instant, my eyes were overrun with tears and I've been

thinking about it ever since. This particular song reminded me of the

beautiful person I am on the inside, not just the exterior; a person

that never would have imagined herself in our situation three months

ago, a person that deserves someone who can give her more, a person

who doesn't settle for being someone's 2nd pick. I don't know what

I've become over these past few months, but I know I'm not a

masochist. A masochist loves the pain; I love the PLEASURE that you

bring me when we are together. Being with you, laughing with you,

holding each other, EVERYTHING feels so good.

 

I have fallen so deeply in love with you and I only see myself falling

even deeper if we continue on this path. At the same time, I also

foresee the pain of having to let you go becoming even more unbearable

as time passes. Every time I try to let you go, I keep telling

myself, "just one more day with him, one more memory." That day passes

and I tell myself, "one more weekend, a few more laughs." That

weekend passes and it's "one more getaway with him, something amazing

to remember our last days together". Then when I finally get up the

nerve to really end this, I try to rationalize and justify what we

have and I always go back to, "lets just enjoy every wonderful moment

we have together until he leaves." As I watch you jump to reply every

time wife texts (which is constantly while we're together), run to

the other room and close the door to talk to her when she calls, or

read erotica about "loving wives", I realize that the only one

enjoying themselves is you. I try my best to believe that your

marriage is horrible and sexless and that I am the only one who makes

you happy these days, but I am starting to see that you have the best

of both worlds and all I have is her bread crumbs. I know you love me

and your feelings for me are real, as are mine, but I also know that

this is all I'm ever going to get from you. There's no Cinco Terra.

There's no Seoul. There's no love lock fence. You will return home

permanently in a few months, work things out with her, and I will

be left with nothing but a broken heart, shattered into tiny little

pieces. Do you know what I do on the nights you are with your family?

I read blogs and message boards from women in my shoes, searching for

a glimpse of hope, thinking maybe one of them will say they finally

got everything they wanted and lived happily ever after. How pathetic

is that???? Even sadder thing is, I have never found that glimpse of

hope because it NEVER happens in real life. It is stupid of me to

think it will ever happen to me. Instead, these women wither away,

waiting months and some even years, for something that will never be

theirs.

 

For these reasons and the obvious others, I think we both know it is

time to let each other go even though it is going to rip our hearts

out and hurt like hell. Even just writing this is excruciating, as

the tears pour down my face at the thought of never seeing you,

touching you, kissing you, or looking into your eyes ever again

crosses my mind. Knowing me, I probably won't even hit "send" until

tomorrow or next week or next month or next year. I can't let you go,

but I know I have to. For this reason, I need you to respect my

wishes and just let me move on. Please don't fight me on this or try

to win me back. I am not strong enough to do this on my own. I know

you hate ultimatums, but I am going to pose one anyway, which is "if

you truly loved me, you'd let me go."

 

I love you so much. Thank you for coming into my life and

allowing me to experience what it truly feels like to be in love. I

don't regret any of this for a second and I know I will think about

you every day, until the day I die. It feels like I am dying now as I

say goodbye to you and I know you are hurting too, but the longer we

wait, the harder it will become and I can't live like this anymore. I

am so sorry baby. I'd give anything to say goodbye to you in person

or for one last grip in your arms, but we both know that would turn

into another amazing night or weekend together. I meant it when I

said you were my best friend which makes this all that more difficult.

I am going to miss you so much. I already do.

 

We usually leave each other with a song that expresses our feelings,

but this time I would like you to listen to the song that brought all

of this on this morning on my way to work so that you can understand

where I am coming from. I know you aren't a huge fan of Christian

rock, but this is one of those songs that tricks you into thinking

it's a regular one until you actually listen deeply to the words. The

part that got my attention was "You are made for so much more than all

of this....you are more than what is hurting you tonight". As much

as I love you, I have to love myself more right now.

 

 

Goodbye *****. My love monkey.

 

CL POST:

I am not sure how you are feeling right now, but if it is anything close to what I am experiencing, you are not doing well at all. I imagine you are angry with me for suddenly pulling the rug from under your feet when things were going so well. This was not an easy choice and it's taking every bone in my body not to take it all back and run to you. I am in so much pain and slowly dying without you. I haven't eaten or slept in 24 hours. I miss you terribly and I hope that when you get past the anger, you put your selfishness aside and see why I had to do this. I still love you and always will. Sweet dreams.

[heartinlove]

So impressed. I could have said alot of what you said myself.