jerryinva Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Things for the last few weeks had been going well. The "ex" and I have (had?) been able to make the "friend" thing work. However...there are certain subjects that are "off-limits" to us talking about...like the "us" thing, or my work. I got sucked into the trap yesterday when she asked me what was bothering me...I tried to avoid the question...but she was persistent....so I told her it had to do with work...and she asked me more questions..but then had the nerve to tell me that I had broken my word to her...and what good was my word? ARRGHH We just never clicked yesterday...and it ended up with her hanging up last night...saying I am done...I will talk to you tomorrow (today.) But, of course, she hasn't called..so I called about an hour or so ago...got voicemail...tried to leave an upbeat message... She keeps telling me one of these days, she is going to get tired of it...and say no more. Ironically, the other day, she was commenting on a couple she knows. The husband never stands up for the wife to his parents..who put her down. She made the comment her husband better step up and let his parents know what the ground rules were if that happened with her.. Interesting...because I did that very thing...which ultimately got me kicked out of my house, where I had been staying with my mother. How can I make this better? Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted August 1, 2004 Share Posted August 1, 2004 Sounds like some ground for the ex are in order. Like, I promised not to bring up certain things, but if you bring them up it is implied that you are changing your mind about the rule. Just walk away for awhile, she's not ready. I went thru this same exact thing with my ex. What's going to happen is that she's either going to change her mind, or some outside pressure (another guy) is going to start telling her that you are bad for them and she's going to toss you aside for awhile. While you still have a good image in her mind, start playing the no contact/reduced contact game. Let her know that you aren't her lapdog. Be too busy for her sometimes. etc.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted August 1, 2004 Author Share Posted August 1, 2004 I actually try not to be available when she calls, all the time... she knows when I am "distancing..." I called yesterday..no reply....so I am not going to call again... she says I bring her down... Link to post Share on other sites
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