After years of being a recluse, stepping out next week. Could do with some tips!

[dmmm]

Hi

 

So I'm finally about to take a class after years of basically living as a recluse.

 

I'm so nervous. My social skills are almost none existent!

 

Anyone have any advice? Anything I can work on the next few days to prepare myself?

 

Any help would be great!

[Balzac]

Congratulations! My recommendation is to expect anxiety and have a plan to deal with it. Set small goals. Perhaps make a trip to the class location and reduce anxiety.

[Jamesblame]

Congratulations on the big step.

 

First off, don't be too nervous. It'll be strange, but it won't hurt you.

Be sure to be friendly and try to talk to at least one person.

Participate in class discussions to get your feet wet.

 

Focus on making just one friend at a time.

 

Also, consider going to a counselor who can help you work on your social skills. For one reason or another plenty of people aren't at the level of social development that they'd like to be. Low income social workers/therapists can offer just as good a job as a more expensive one.

 

Remember that you're doing this for you. So the only person you have to be concerned about is you, and whether or not you're enjoying the experience/learning something new.

 

Look at all the people on here with problems. Who are are the public to judge you?

[River Rain]

Good for you! I'm doing something similar in January, back to school!

 

Yes, I would expect some anxiety, but try to change the word "anxiety" into "excitement"...a little trick to put a positive spin on it. I don't know what you think of natural remedies, but I take passionflower before I have to go out with the humans and it helps reduce my anxiety tremendously.

 

Maybe some really vigourous exercise before you go out too, work out the nerves a little.

[todreaminblue]

Hi

 

So I'm finally about to take a class after years of basically living as a recluse.

 

I'm so nervous. My social skills are almost none existent!

 

Anyone have any advice? Anything I can work on the next few days to prepare myself?

 

Any help would be great!

 

 

 

i so know how you feel....i have in my life lived most of it as a recluse i have met friends because they walk through my door or when i was working......or through my kids friends i have made two best friends who are female.....i am a mix though and have confidence when i absolutely have to....i dont catch public transport ill cab it....i caught a train a couple of times lately yay....smilin......i am still struggling in certain situations...but i am out there now....i still like walking at night less people......i have initiated conversations straight......i am actually friendly.....just different and i dont let too many in.....i attribute the strength i have through following my heart and my faith...even when i am nervous i cover it with humour.....at my church i am opening up more met some great people they make me feel more comfortable....still not totally myself......god cant help me in every aspect of my psyche i feel a warmth when i am scared or down.......thats enough to keep me centered.......i make my own choices i have free will and i pray that i make the right choices...one reason why i have been reclusive is consistently having bad experiences......i do alot of self analysis and am going to do some counselling next week through the church i love.....so feel safe with that......its all about accepting for me ...accepting i am going to struggle and to still keep trying is my main aim...i cant go back ...i have to go forward....and onward...kamikaze alert...i try to think of all the kamikaze things i have done in the past that were good.....all the good influences in my life th elove my family has for me the acceptance i have gotten from my church and try not to listen to voices that are negative...thats hard...but i keep trying...and accepting myself....and knowing i make a difference.......i only want to be a positive influence to anyone....and this is what i try to do.......i use my ipod as a buffer and a soothing influence.....music is universally able to be positive.....its a gift......you will feel anxious you will feel nervous.....you will survive thats what i tell myself......deb

[dmmm]

Thanks everyone for the replies.

 

I'm going to try to look at it more as a massive opportunity to change my life. Or at least take the first real step towards it.

 

Trying to let the excitement of this beat the nervousness!

[january2011]

Bare minimum: get there early. Then smile and say hello to everyone as they come in.

 

Goal: chat to your neighbours. Find out their background and why they joined the class.

 

Stretch goal: during class answer one question the teacher asks or ask one question about something you don't understand.

 

Next few days: practise smiling and saying hello to everyone you come across in your daily life. If you can't do this with everyone, set a goal to do it with at least three people per day. If you go into a retail outlet and do it with a retail assistant, that's one done already.

[Hawaii50]

1. It's all in your head.

2. wear sunscreen.

 

It's going to be pretty shocking to be in a classroom again, as I'm sure you do in fact go out in public from time to time so seeing people isn't absolutely foreign.

 

Be prepared... the teach is going to make everyone stand-up and tell a little about yourself.. I assume.

[mercy]

Hi

 

So I'm finally about to take a class after years of basically living as a recluse.

 

I'm so nervous. My social skills are almost none existent!

 

Anyone have any advice? Anything I can work on the next few days to prepare myself?

 

Any help would be great!

 

So many people are feeling the exact same things you are. Relax, enjoy.

 

Take time to connect with nature, look around, be aware. Take a deep breath in and slow breathe out. It's a beautiful life and a wonderful world we live in. Look up at the sky, it's a whole new day and you're off to a great start.

 

Face your fear, challenge it, you control it, it doesn't control you. And smile, you own this day. And what lies before you is hope, hang onto it. You're going to soar!