Author Mr Spock Posted August 13, 2004 Author Share Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by Grinning Maniac I never said Spock had to accept everyone's advice in order to post, but I can't be the only one who finds this "debate" a bit silly after 15 pages. I'm not even clear anymore on the current situation between Spock and this guy. It's not really a discussion of what's happening on a day-to-day basis anymore is it? That would be fine. It's turned into some angry, mutated "advise me" thread even though I'm doubting that's what she intended it to be. Feh. I suppose I just tire of madness. Carry on. Sigh. I keep getting my posts deleted. No PM though, so you probably deserved what I said. Whatever I decide to share is fine, grinning maniac. Not what you decide. It has become convoluded, but littleflowerpot has given up Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 given up what? my beliefs and my opinions? no. arguing with someone that thinks she is doing nothing wrong? oh wait, i mean arguing with someone that acknowledges she's doing something wrong but doesn't care? okay, yeah, i'll give that up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr Spock Posted August 13, 2004 Author Share Posted August 13, 2004 Sigh. I meant given up clogging the thread up with your beliefs and opinions. Unless you hadn't noticed the "patience is a virtue" references. Anyways, I'm currently pursuing this single (that I know of) man that I find incredibly cute. And he's taller than me. MM was all freaked out at our last meeting-something was throwing him off (not a clandestine meeting, just in a group setting)so I took it upon myself to call him at work and leave a message to contact me-so I can make sure he's OK..... Think he was rattled from our last encounter, and I also think he's jealous of the attention other men give me. Link to post Share on other sites
sinner Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 I'm currently pursuing this single (that I know of) man that I find incredibly cute. And he's taller than me. Height is attractive in guys. I'm 6" 2" and that's by far my most attractive quality. I suspect your MM will go ballistic when he learns of your pursuit. Jealousy is some powerful mojo. Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by Mr Spock Sigh. I meant given up clogging the thread up with your beliefs and opinions. Unless you hadn't noticed the "patience is a virtue" references. Anyways, I'm currently pursuing this single (that I know of) man that I find incredibly cute. And he's taller than me. MM was all freaked out at our last meeting-something was throwing him off (not a clandestine meeting, just in a group setting)so I took it upon myself to call him at work and leave a message to contact me-so I can make sure he's OK..... Think he was rattled from our last encounter, and I also think he's jealous of the attention other men give me. actually i don't pay attention much to patronizing people. i thought the "patience is a virtue" thing was just people focusing on shifting attention onto someone else. and once again, if you don't want people clogging up your threads with their opinions and beliefs then perhaps no one should visit the site except just your friends that tell you what you enjoy hearing. Link to post Share on other sites
kiababy Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 perhaps no one should visit the site except just your friends that tell you what you enjoy hearing. Hey, I resent that remark Littleflowerpot - I hope you're not implying that I'm encouraging Spock or anyone else to go out and get involved with married men. There are enough of you on this site telling her what to do, why do I need to give her advice....when I'm in the same situation? All I said was that she needed to feel good right now. You read way too much into that comment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr Spock Posted August 13, 2004 Author Share Posted August 13, 2004 LOL sinner-he does know about him-in fact, after our last group function when we got together he asked me why I didn't stay around to hang out with that particular single guy, since the single guy (in his mind) obviously wanted to hook up with me. I told him it was just another option for me. That's when he started to get into my headspace-trying to figure out what I was doing, with him, and in life in general. Also stated he thought that I had slept with another member of our social group as he knew we had in fact hung out for quite some time having dinner and beer after a group function. I had told people this-nothing to hide. For someone that told me they just like to have sex, no emotion, he certainly seems to be interested in what I'm doing. He seemed completely disjointed last night-perhaps it's because the single guy was talking to me with interest. I did something out of character, which was called his work and left a message to call as I'd like to make sure he's not weirding out or anything. I'm just not quite sure what to make of it. For being a pig (he IS a pig-and oddly enough, we're very similar) he's very very affectionate in private and oddly enough in public too. He also told me he's very self concious. Littleflowerpot-you would argue and argue the same point over and over again, with no results-and you were also arguing things that I hadn't even said. Just what you perceived. Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by kiababy Hey, I resent that remark Littleflowerpot - I hope you're not implying that I'm encouraging Spock or anyone else to go out and get involved with married men. There are enough of you on this site telling her what to do, why do I need to give her advice....when I'm in the same situation? All I said was that she needed to feel good right now. You read way too much into that comment. lol - talk about reading too much into something! relax, honey. no one said you were encouraging her to pick up married guys. why wouldn't you give someone else advice? that's what we come here for. and why should we always feel good? especially if we are doing stuff that we shouldn't feel good about? but WHATEVER. i really don't know what the purpose of this thread was about anymore. it seemed she was unhappy (go back and read the first post again) and was looking for support. but support is not always what we wanna hear or what will make us comfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
sinner Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Spock, without being overly analytical, are you leveraging a possible relationship with the SG to win back your MM? People do that all the time. As for divorcing sex from emotion, that's more easily said than done. If your SG is taller, younger and better looking than the MM, the MM may feel a tad insecure and jealous. And if you do hook up with SG and tout his equipment, virility and performance to MM, I guarantee the MM will be consumed by jealousy and envy. Live by the c#ck, die by the c#ck. Link to post Share on other sites
murasaki Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 I'm an unbiased observor of all this. I just notice that people seem to be talking at cross purposes here and you have to wonder what people hope to accomplish. Minus the nastiness, I somewhat agree with GrinningManiac. Spock, are you interested in discussing your situation, or are you just posting updates for people who care to read about your life? Littleflowerpot... it just seems kind of weird that you're so scornful and condemning of Spock, when you've elsewhere defended the OW/OM's right to post about their problems in this forum without being attacked. I've read some of your other posts, and this one seems to be especially relevant: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=264700#post264700 If I read you right, you're saying that the emotional intimacy you engaged in with this guy was more damaging than the actual physical stuff that happened. And I'd be willing to be a lot of women whose husbands/boyfriends are cheating on them are more upset about the emotional attachment than the physical stuff. So, following that logic, what Spock is doing is less harmful than what you did, but you're being very aggressive in condemning her. Isn't that weird? Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by murasaki I'm an unbiased observor of all this. I just notice that people seem to be talking at cross purposes here and you have to wonder what people hope to accomplish. Minus the nastiness, I somewhat agree with GrinningManiac. Spock, are you interested in discussing your situation, or are you just posting updates for people who care to read about your life? Littleflowerpot... it just seems kind of weird that you're so scornful and condemning of Spock, when you've elsewhere defended the OW/OM's right to post about their problems in this forum without being attacked. I've read some of your other posts, and this one seems to be especially relevant: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=264700#post264700 If I read you right, you're saying that the emotional intimacy you engaged in with this guy was more damaging than the actual physical stuff that happened. And I'd be willing to be a lot of women whose husbands/boyfriends are cheating on them are more upset about the emotional attachment than the physical stuff. So, following that logic, what Spock is doing is less harmful than what you did, but you're being very aggressive in condemning her. Isn't that weird? no, not weird at all. i could give a rat's ass if she sleeps with married guys or single guys. what i couldn't understand (and still can't) is how she could so easily say "i don't care if his family gets hurt as long as i am having fun." so i questioned her to try to understand. she gave glib answers and i debated it. and you say what she did is less harmful but less harmful to whom? my ex has no kids and you can bet that if he had i think the situation would have turned out far differently. also, i do regret my affair. i regret whatever pain his gf might have had to go through. my debate with spock was on the "i don't care" attitude. it's really hard for me to be supportive of anyone with that kind of attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr Spock Posted August 13, 2004 Author Share Posted August 13, 2004 Minus the nastiness, I somewhat agree with GrinningManiac. Spock, are you interested in discussing your situation, or are you just posting updates for people who care to read about your life? Both. Does it matter really? I appreciate people's perspectives on these kinds of things because I'm a very suspicious person, and I like to find out what less suspicious minded people think. Spock, without being overly analytical, are you leveraging a possible relationship with the SG to win back your MM? People do that all the time. As for divorcing sex from emotion, that's more easily said than done. If your SG is taller, younger and better looking than the MM, the MM may feel a tad insecure and jealous. Sorry to be so confusing sinner-this is the NEW mm that was trying to get into my headspace, I haven't talked to the exmm since I told him to stop contacting me. And actually, he just returned my phone call. And asked for my home number. Woo Hoo. He was in a bad mood because he was jealous. And not doing so well at the group activity. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 actually i don't pay attention much to patronizing people Ouch! . I'm sorry you found me patronising, littleflowerpot. Link to post Share on other sites
sinner Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 this is the NEW mm that was trying to get into my headspace, Spock, I'm surprised there's any room! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr Spock Posted August 13, 2004 Author Share Posted August 13, 2004 And an update for all you that are just DYING to read about little old me. (that was sarcasm. I'm fairly uninteresting as far as lives go) I do think he's jealous. We spoke on the fone for a bit after he had returned my call-chit chat. I expressed regret at not being able to attend a group function in the upcoming weekend (soley because of my gender) and he asked for my fone number so he could call me later tonight. I gave it to him, and he said that it was probably some guy's number. I insisted it was indeed real. This confirms to be that he is miffed at the idea of me interacting with other men. That combined with other factors explains the wiggy behaviour last other night. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr Spock Posted August 13, 2004 Author Share Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by sinner Spock, I'm surprised there's any room! Now is that because I've got an enormous brain or my mind is cluttered with junk....maybe a bit of both.... Link to post Share on other sites
kiababy Posted August 14, 2004 Share Posted August 14, 2004 Spock, I think all men, not just MM like it when a woman has other things going on in her life, and doesn't just sit at home waiting for them to call......unless of course, you're having TOO MUCH fun without them...or fun with another guy. Then they get jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr Spock Posted August 16, 2004 Author Share Posted August 16, 2004 Well it's Monday, it's hot out and I'm horribly depressed. Not about MM oddly enough but about this attractive single man I was chasing. Who has chosen to start "seeing" another woman. With my luck in life, that means NOW he'll become irresistably attracted to me. I hooked up with MM this weekend. He has expressed interest in joining a group function that I do-so I put together a group and included him. Really what I need to be doing is walking away from this. Instead I have called him at work and left instructions to return my call. Again. And he returned my call, and suggested hooking up. And that is an EXTREME boost to my self confidence right now. I can't refuse it. So in the space of writing ONE thread, with phone call, I've gone from almost wanting to cry to elation. I like who I am, I don't WANT to change anything about my personality. This is why I will always be attracted to people who LIKE the way I am-rather than those who think I'm brash, forward. Hence my current fling with MM. Link to post Share on other sites
kiababy Posted August 16, 2004 Share Posted August 16, 2004 I can totally identify with that feeling Spock - if I get stood up by a single guy, I feel awful (but of course I pretend I don't care).....until the next time I hear from MM who has NEVER STOOD ME UP, and like you said - likes me for exactly who I am. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr Spock Posted August 17, 2004 Author Share Posted August 17, 2004 I've come to the decision that my relationship with this man cannot continue the way it is-it's simply too risky. Last night he came over to my place while the fam was out of town-it was a lot of fun. But while I was waiting for his arrival I felt all the same feelings that I'd get when waiting for the my first MM to show up-anxeity,anticipation. And I don't want to do that again. So I'm just going to pretend all of it never happened. Quit while I'm ahead. I still don't regret pursuing the connection. I just think the safer smarter thing to do for ME is to let it drop. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr Spock Posted August 18, 2004 Author Share Posted August 18, 2004 I'm being emailed......what to do........if I keep stating that it's not important to me, eventually it becomes the truth. So, this whole "thing" is not important to me. Link to post Share on other sites
kiababy Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 What's he saying in the emails? Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Ignore the emails Spock. Keep saying, this thing is not important to me. Make it a mantra. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr Spock Posted August 18, 2004 Author Share Posted August 18, 2004 And chatting on MSN. Nothing in particular, but I spent the whole day stating that I didn't want to continue this dangerous situation and when I came home I saw he was on MSN and I jumped right on there. Emails? Well, I hate specifics but there was a occurence of nature during our tryst and I was sent something related to that. Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Ignore the chatting. I know you can do it; you are a strong woman. But, I can tell that it's already starting to hurt you somewhat. "This thing is not important to me." Link to post Share on other sites
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