Man's mother acting strange

[Rachel]

My long distance boyfriend's mother sounded really wierd on the phone the other day and I don't understand what is going on with her.

 

My boyfriend had told me to call him at his mother's appartment (where he keeps a room)at ten in the morning a couple of days ago because it is cheaper for me to call long distance overseas to a fixed phone rather than on his cellular phone, as he doesn't have a fixed phone.

 

I called on Sunday morning (in Israel Sunday is like our Monday) and his mother answered the phone telling me he had already left to go to work at eight in the morning. She sounded angry with me, and told me not to call him in the morings because he has to go to work and he never answers his cell phone.

 

I told her that he was the one who had told me to call him there at that time, and she kept stressing this point about not calling him in the morning. "Do you understand?" she kept saying over and over again as if to underline a point.

 

I asked her why she was angry at me, and she told me she wasn't angry at all, but I sensed something strange and alarming in her voice. She advised me to call him in the evenings as opposed to mornings, then said, "This is not his appartment. He doesn't live here. It is not a gift. I am here alone. This is his offical address, but he doesn't stay here often."

 

Then, as if forgetting that in my country it was Saturday night, she asked me, "Don't you work?" (as if to say 'Don't you do anything in life?') and I told her what I was doing.

 

Then she reminded me one more time not to call him in the morning, and ended by saying,

 

"All the best, happiness and health to you," and hung up on me!

 

This is so strange because in the past she was always so happy to talk to me. This time I felt as if she was trying to push me away or something.

 

Right after that I called my boyfriend on his cell phone and he apologized for not being there on time, but that he had gotten an early call for work. He didn't say a thing about not calling him in the morning and when I asked him why his mom had acted so strangely over the phone he told me she wasn't feeling well and had bronchitus, but to me her voice didn't sound like she ahd bronchitus.

 

There is something really fishy going on here with these two people and I don't get it. Obviously the first suspition to think is that he has someone else and the mother doesn't want me to call him at "her" place on her son's phone if he is there some mornings. Why is she so protective of him? I just don't get it.

[Tony T]

Jewish moms can sometimes be overly protective of their offspring in this way.

 

Give her some time to get over the alleged bronchitis. If she stiil behaves in an unfriendly way, confront her and ask her if you have offended her.

 

A radical change in the way somebody reacts to you can signal illness or it can be a sign of a major change in the relationship.

 

It is very possible that he has someone else. This kind of long distance relationship is highly impractical, especially if your guy is very hormone driven. Also, if you aren't Jewish, in most cases you would be doomed.

 

If you really love this guy, plan on making a trip to Israel fairly soon. If you aren't so much in love with him, plan on forgetting him fairly soon.

 

You have got to get to the bottom of this. I, too, smell a lot of fishy stuff surrounding this whole thing. You don't need it.

[Deejette]

You could solve the problem by having him call you and just not calling him again. His mother obviously thinks you are intruding in her life. I don't think it is because he has another woman, I just think that some old-fashioned women don't believe it is the woman's place to call a man.

Jewish moms can sometimes be overly protective of their offspring in this way. Give her some time to get over the alleged bronchitis. If she stiil behaves in an unfriendly way, confront her and ask her if you have offended her. A radical change in the way somebody reacts to you can signal illness or it can be a sign of a major change in the relationship. It is very possible that he has someone else. This kind of long distance relationship is highly impractical, especially if your guy is very hormone driven. Also, if you aren't Jewish, in most cases you would be doomed. If you really love this guy, plan on making a trip to Israel fairly soon. If you aren't so much in love with him, plan on forgetting him fairly soon. You have got to get to the bottom of this. I, too, smell a lot of fishy stuff surrounding this whole thing. You don't need it.

[Rachel]

Jewish moms can sometimes be overly protective of their offspring in this way.

 

I know that, but in the beginning she treated me like I

 

was part of the family! In fact, she even confided

 

personal things to me that her son didn't tell me about

 

the family, and confessed that she didn't like his past

 

girlfriends, said that I was the best.

It is very possible that he has someone else. This kind of long distance relationship is highly impractical, especially if your guy is very hormone driven. Also, if you aren't Jewish, in most cases you would be doomed.

 

I am Jewish, even more (in practice) than they are.

If you really love this guy, plan on making a trip to Israel fairly soon. If you aren't so much in love with him, plan on forgetting him fairly soon.

 

He is supposed to come to come to the US in December for

 

work and to visit me. In the mean time, it seems

 

impossible for me to find out if he really is fooling

 

around because I know he is a typical man in the sense

 

that he wouldn't tell the truth. I see other guys over

 

here too, but don't have sex with them. I still wouldn't

 

mention it to him and I can understand that he wouldn't

 

mention the same things to me, but I think he is really

 

too busy with work to have time to seriously fool around.

[Deejette]

It doesn't sound like a rock-solid relationship if you are wondering whether he cheated on you or not and the only reason you think he is not cheating is that he is too busy with work.

I know that, but in the beginning she treated me like I was part of the family! In fact, she even confided personal things to me that her son didn't tell me about the family, and confessed that she didn't like his past girlfriends, said that I was the best. I am Jewish, even more (in practice) than they are. He is supposed to come to come to the US in December for work and to visit me. In the mean time, it seems impossible for me to find out if he really is fooling around because I know he is a typical man in the sense that he wouldn't tell the truth. I see other guys over here too, but don't have sex with them. I still wouldn't mention it to him and I can understand that he wouldn't mention the same things to me, but I think he is really too busy with work to have time to seriously fool around.