don't know anymore

[promod33]

my wife says she does love me anymore and wants out of our relationship.we have been married 11 years to gether for 18 years she says that i made her stop loving me by the way i act. she says she has wanted to leave me for a while ,but never said nothing to me we have 2 children and also had a son who passed away at 3 years old 6 years ago.i don't know how to save my marriage she went to england for work and when she came back she did not show me any pictures from trip i asked her and she said they were at work but when i went to her purse for money i found 14 pictures that were separated from the others.there was nothing out of the ordinary in these pics but i asked here why were they separated and in her purse she got angry.of course we argued and then today i was trying to talk and she said she liked being on her own in england and did not want me any more ,i pushed a little more and now come to find out she has feeling for a guy she works with she says he does not know and nothing physical has happened,but that her feeling gave her the kick to want to end the relationship with me. so what do i do i love her and said i was willing to go to seek help for us but she said no ,so now do i just let her go or do i keep fighting for her

[LolaLopez]

I have been married 6 years. I have gone thru what you are describing your wife as going thru. I don't know about her, but when this happened to me, I was feeling very neglected. After a while, I had to harden myself to my husband to keep from getting hurt from being neglected, and this allowed me to develop feelings for another man. Nothing ever happened btwn us, but we did once admit to each other our attraction. This made me feel great: someone had noticed me. I thought I did not want to be married anymore (we have 2 kids as well, so not an easy decision) or love my husband, but he put his heart on his sleeve and made me remember how we used to feel about each other. Think about what has been going on in your relationship. Have you been giving it the attention it needs? I know your wife is saying no to therapy now, but don't give up if you love her. You have to remind her why you are together, make her feel the way you used to make her feel. Sounds like you need to give her more attention.

I also have a friend who recently went thru this. His wife did actually become physical with the other man. He gave her a little space and now they are in counseling. He never gave up on her. Good luck to you and I hope things work out for the best.

Lola