J0N Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 I have a question for everybody: How long did it take you to get over your first love? I can say that while my current ex was not the first girl I ever dated or slept with, she was my first true love. It has been a little over two years, and while I wouldn’t say that I am 100% over her, I am pretty close. I still think about her and miss her sometimes, but I can honestly say that I don’t want her back and I wouldn’t have a problem with her dating other people. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 i don't think true love is something you ever get over. I am still in love with my ex. He is a wonderful man. And i think about him often. I hope he's doing great and i'm very happy he was in my life. I am forever changed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted October 26, 2012 Author Share Posted October 26, 2012 i don't think true love is something you ever get over. I am still in love with my ex. He is a wonderful man. And i think about him often. I hope he's doing great and i'm very happy he was in my life. I am forever changed. Why did you break up? We're you the dumper or dumpee? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 i'm the dumper. Both times. The first time i was young and stupid and started slipping away from him. He then got violent. Not with me but broue me so i knew i had to let him go so he could be happy again. The second time, years later, i realized wasn't in it as much as he was. So i left him so he could find someone better. He never would have left me. I don't regret my actions. I know he's happy with his current lady. I still completely love him in a way i have never experienced before or since. Maybe what did was selfish. But i feel like i gave him an opportunity to do better than me. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 I have a question for everybody: How long did it take you to get over your first love? I can say that while my current ex was not the first girl I ever dated or slept with, she was my first true love. It has been a little over two years, and while I wouldn’t say that I am 100% over her, I am pretty close. I still think about her and miss her sometimes, but I can honestly say that I don’t want her back and I wouldn’t have a problem with her dating other people. A month. But only because he treated me like **** and abused me. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamesblame Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 8 months after the 3 year relationship. Residual anger and jealousy may flash up every now and then, but once you realize and internalize that you don't want to be with that person and that there was no way you'd ever be happy together....well it gets much easier. Then you just get pissed about wasting the time you did with them, and later on you accept it. All the pain you feel during the mourning period is the concern and fear that you'll never be loved, don't deserve to be loved, or the fear that you can't be as happy as you were in the relationship. once those misconceptions are stripped away in pain and grief, you'll find yourself standing there with new friends and a better life. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 'Get over' is a relative term, IMO. Each of us defines it uniquely. For myself, my path to 'acceptance', which is how I define 'get over', took many years and being psychologically open to accepting reality, both of circumstance and person. Some people move on from their first loves like one changes underwear. For others, it is a life-long space filled with emotional memory. For others, something else. What I discovered upon the path to acceptance was that what I missed wasn't her, rather it was missing who I was when I loved her. I'm OK with that. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Just over a year. It took seven months of strict NC before I was mostly over him. I did have somewhat of a setback when he contacted me to inform me that he had a girlfriend who was pregnant with his kid. But after a month or so I got over it. I can honestly say I don't love or miss him anymore. I do think about him from time to time and wonder how he is. But I don't feel inclined to reach out or anything. I thought I'd never get over him the day he dumped me - - this was a guy I seriously contemplated taking my own life over. But now all those feelings seemed to have dissipated... Link to post Share on other sites
spaniard Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 (edited) It took 1,5 years. She was my classmate, we met every day, so it was really hard. Funny, that it was she first who wanted to go out with me but I said no But this was like 8 years ago. We are friends now UPDATE: A few weeks ago I re-read my blog I used to write that time. It was all about her. About how perfect she was etc... now since that I have had a lot of girlfriends... every single one of them was better than her in almost every respect. Edited October 30, 2012 by spaniard Link to post Share on other sites
KansasChica Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 I feel like I'm still getting over mine and whereas I'd love to stay hopeful about the future, it keeps waning as I move forward. My ex was the first person I really let in and truly truly loved. He broke up with me unexpectedly when things were starting to get serious and it's hard to move on from that. I am now dating casually and just no one makes me feel as happy as he did. It's frustrating. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 I would say a year and a half fully. Could have sped up the process a lot sooner if i'd got on with my life sooner. It was travelling that knocked him out of my head and my heart Link to post Share on other sites
Daniel Kaiser Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 Like someone said above, to get over is something very relative. It's gonna be a year soon, from the day we broke up. You can break up with someone for a number of reasons, and it's a lot easier to let go when you get out with the feeling that it was the right thing to do, but it's a whole world of confusion to get out of a relationship you can't even understand why it's ending... Still, even though I still have this truckload of warm feelings whenever I think of her, I can accept the fact that it had to end when it did, even though I don't understand how it came to that, exactly. Otherwise, my life wouldn't be as it is now, and so it goes. But yeah, whenever I see that flowing, beautiful dark hair, those deep dark eyes, that glowing, soft smile... I can't help but notice that this is probably as far as I will go into getting over her In other words, it will always be hard to understand that we can't possess someone forever, it's a lifelong lesson, I think, but you can choose if you are gonna feel sad and gloomy or warm and loving, when you remember the one you loved so much! Hope this helps. Hugs! Link to post Share on other sites
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