Am I ready to date again?

[domple]

Hi everyone, I have been single for a couple of months (1 month no contact) and a big part of me says yes and another part says no one wants you.

 

I literally turned 31 and a half yesterday, never married or children (always wanted). I know I am not over the hill or am old. But a few life changing things happened which have me questioning who I am.

 

Turns out I was bullied for years in school and became introverted and a little anti social. I grew out of it but I discovered recently that many of the friends and relationships I've been in we're with people who didnt care about me.

 

I discovered a month ago I have/had a hero complex and tend to like people who have needs as I want to be needed. I know know this and looking back on my life I am a little repulsed of the kind of people I let into my life. For example my first girlfriend left me for another woman ?honestly didn't see that coming, the next one became depressed from outside sources and didnt care about herself and I should have ended it earlier, the. Next had relationship issues and broke it off making up the most bizzare reasons and the last had PTSD (didnt know much about it so I didn't give it much through) and she broke down saying how awesome I was but can't be around me.

 

Right now with the few true friends I have who have their own lives I feel alone and miserable. My family are getting sick of my negativity but I am trying to keep up beat write down my goals and be focused.

 

Ironically my therapist (the one helping me through some of these issues said I should be actively trying to date as its not me but those I've been around. She said when I meet the right people I will click so it should be fine. I have tried church and online dating for the past few weeks but no luck yet. Has anyone been through a process of restarting everything? I'm not a loner and want to be around people with the same valuaes and I will do whatever it takes to get me on track.

[january2011]

Rather than focus on dating, focus on friendships. Try meetups (google it), volunteering and adult education classes. Rediscover your faith in people and their goodness. Then, try dating again.