To get back with her or not?

[Kageoni]

So basically i dated this girl for 16 months and the first year was great but then she started changing. She always used to prefer to stay in and read a book and want to talk to me. However she went out and enjoyed herself so she kept doing it and it just caused so many arguments cos she wasnt who i fell for.

 

Then i broke up and i regret what i said to her cos it wad really harsh and picking on her insecurities but she got with some other guy soon. I got pissed and punched a wall fracturing my wrist. However the next day i bragged about this new girl i met cos she was so pretty. She got pissed off and did no contact.

 

She went to meet this new guy on the saturday and on the sunday she went out with a old school mate and she was puting herself down so he kissed her and she kissed him. She told me and i forced her to tell her bf. Her bf didnt even react. She said to me though "id never do that to you, i truly love you". She also was saying i regret getting with him now cos i lost you and for cheating ive lost you for good.

 

So i said well ypur going a festival next year, how am i meant to trust you and that id get back with her if she didnt go but she insitent on it. She says she truly misses me and would really like to give us another shot cos we were happy and it was true love but i gotta accept the fact she going to a festival. Also she said if i permo break up with her she gonna suicide cos she dont wanna live without me. Id get back with her in a heart beat if she didnt go this festival but she wants to go :/

[january2011]

You don't mention why you don't want her to go to this festival.

 

Blackmail is not a great foundation on which to build a relationship. If she is happy being who she is then you need to accept that. Being able to adapt to changes is very important for the survival of a long-term relationship. You can't really expect people to remain as they are. It's unfair.

 

Suicidal ideation, rebounds, physical violence and blackmail make this relationship full of drama. You both might have strong feelings for each other, but your actions suggest otherwise. You had to break up with her and see her with another guy before you decided that you wanted her back. And she allowed herself to get entangled with at least two other guys.

 

Your interactions are full of hurt, anger and lashing out at each other. You are better off apart than together. Leave her alone once and for all. Let her go and be happy doing what she wants to do.