azndawg Posted August 1, 2004 Share Posted August 1, 2004 Hello all My g/f and I have been going out for about 16 months now and there have been some rocky parts to our relationship. I love her very much and I know she feels the same way. She is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with but there are some obstacles in the way. The main problem now is that she feels jealous when I'm with other girls and she hates feeling jealous. It's actually my fault that she feels jealous and doesn't totally trust me. It isn't because I cheated on her but because I conditioned her to feel that way. I had a misconception that jealousy equated to caring and that those who love each other will become jealous in certain situations. So everytime I was innocently with another girl I always made sure it was ok with her and was surprised when she didn't mind. Constantly asking her if she was jealous made her rethink and now she is jealous when I'm with other girls. I had wanted her to feel jealous and I got my wish but now I know differently and want to reverse the effects. I now realize that jealousy doesn't equal caring but that it equals mistrust. I trust her totally when she is with her guy friends and she wants to feel the same way with me and my girl friends. She doesn't like the person that I turned her into and it will make the relationship very hard to maintain if she doesn't trust me. Now I need to find a way to gain back that trust due to the stupid mistakes that I made. She is the greatest g/f that I could ask for and she puts up with so much negative stuff that I have given her. I don't want her to be angry and jealous at me anymore and I need some advice on how to change what I have caused. Link to post Share on other sites
ringo Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 to have some jealousy... we all do it, but hate to admit it. We want what someone else has... someone wants something that we have.... fear of losing what we have is what makes us jealous.... If you want her to trust you.... just ask her.... "how can I make you trust me", "what can I do to prove my love and fidelity to you and only you". Just ask her.... sit down and talk about it. Be honest with each other... Of course there is the usual therapy.... reading of self help books.... But you can't change anyone.... they have to want to change themselves.... just like you can't make her happy - she has to make herself happy.... Link to post Share on other sites
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