Met someone online, unexpectidly, don't know what to do.

[whichwayisup]

Heres my situation. Met someone online not too long ago. We met at support group website. We instantly clicked, even before we actually spoke, when reading his posts I felt something. Wasn't thinking or aware of it though at the time. Then one night there was a general chat. We both were there, lots of ppl there too, and we clicked.

 

Met afew more times in the chatroom, I realized I felt something for this guy. We ended up talking alone one night in the chatroom and I had to ask him if he felt it too. He said he did, that it blew him away on how he felt about me. How could 2 people who've never met face to face fall for eachother like this???!!!! We talked at length about everything, realizing all sorts of strange coincidences with eachother, birthdays, family, upbringing...Then we talked about our relationships. We knew we had feelings for eachother, but knew this 'new and special' friendship was gonna go nowhere! We decided to focus our feelings for eachother into our relationships. It's been 4 months now or so.

 

We still talk once a week or so, less because of nice weather and our family life.

I do love him, I know I won't ever leave my hubby for this guy. But I am totally inlove with this online guy. he is my soulmate too. WE know where it stands though.

I miss him alot when he's not online, but recently he has been backing off from me. He says one thing, but then does another. We've always been open and honest. I realized recently that when he says he's busy and not online, i find out later that he has been, just not talking to anyone and still on ocmputer. but he says he isn't into the computer thing as much. Says it has nothing to do with me, but I do tke it personally. Like my ego I guess is hurt! wHy woouldn't he want to talk to me?? I'm here, why are'nt you sort of thing. I knowtaht's stupid and stuff but it is the way I feel sometimes. I know he cares about me. We did cool things down not too long ago...but things were picking up abit again...Now he's just acting weird. Still emails me but isn't as intense towards me.

 

We are wonderful friends though ontop of this...that to me is much more important...But how do I deal with him not wanting to be online with me, when I need him right now? I feel like he has control over when we do/don't talk...I know myself and won't be able to not talk to him if he comes on...We do IM's now finally. Took us long enough to do that.

 

I"m confused, hurt and even though I lvoe my hubby so much, sometimes he just doesn't get me. I do have guys as friends, doesn't bother my hubby at all. He knows I do talk to this guy and has no problems with it. He just doesn't know all the details.

 

Most of the time this guy and I just talk about our life probs, share thoughts and laugh alot! But the feelings are still all there. We met for a reason , we know that, just hoping one day it won't end..because I want him in my life forever.

 

I know so many people who have online friends for years. I would be crushed if we were never to speak again.

 

Any thoughts would help. Please no nasty rude replies...If you don't like what you've read then please don't reply to my post. Thanks in advance.

 

WWIU

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

This is just a couple of things to consider. First, how would you feel if your husband was doing to you what you are doing to him?

Second, are you willing to risk your marriage and become another divorced statistic? Third, your husband is not worried about you talking to other guys because he has trust and respects you and this is the way you deal with his trust and respect? Fourth, you know this internet guy is already a liar and a deceitful person.

Finally, continue on this self destructive path and your will lose everything you have for a person you do not really even know.

 

You are in a fog and when you wake up you may well have lost everything. Maybe you should try connecting with your husband. This is an addiction and it will poison your relationship and your marriage with your husband. End this now and concentrate on your marriage or again you will be another divorce statistic. Imagine your husband finding out and leaving you. Imagine your husband finding someone else and marrying them. Is this what you want because if you continue this behavior this is what you will get. The choice is yours.

[moimeme]

How could 2 people who've never met face to face fall for eachother like this???!!!!

 

They can't. They can love the aspects of the other person that they know - and that only assumes that what they know is true. But people have many sides, qualities, characteristics and you cannot truly say you love someone in his entirety until you know the whole of him.

 

He could be nothing like he says he is and you "talk about our life probs, share thoughts and laugh alot" which is what you should be doing with your husband or gal pals. You are having an emotional affair - looking to another man to fill gaps in your own relationship. Bryanp is right; this can only lead to no good. Go see a marriage counsellor with your husband and get the elements you need out of your own marriage.

[Kitty1123]

hmmm...what i dont undestand is how people develop feelings through a screen?!?! it makes no sence..its like falling for the idea of something..besides you have alot more time to contemplate whats being typed..its easy to be witty, funny, ect. through a screen..i wouldn't put my energy into an online romance..i know people do, but a) you have a husband b)there are things that need to be considered here..what if this guy is not who he says he is ?? beleive me i think all 3 of you would be better off if you just left this guy alone.

[whichwayisup]

Thanks for all the replies...I know what you all said, trust me I know.

I guess I never really honestly looked at wtf was really gonna take place. It was so special, that instant connection and energy. If we had met face to face instead of online it would be the same feelings involved. Kitty you haven't expereinced it, so you dont understand. I am also wear my heart on my sleeve and get emotoinally attached to my friends, male and female, online and LIVE friends too.

 

So much has happened in the last few days, not good I tell you. But my feelings for this guy has been halted thanks to a sh*tty email that p*ssed me off. Right now I couldn't care less if we ever spoke. A week from now I may feel different, but right now there is no way things are gonna heat up again between us. I can say right now that whatever brought us together was a higher force of nature...We learned from eachother, shared cries and laughs, helped eachother through some really rough times...I will always love him and he'll have a special place in my heart, but I know wht's what now and got my head on straight. I think that expression, say "when"

well, I am about to say 'when' meaning I have almost had enough. Hurts like heck, but it's my own fault for allowing someone I don't know as it was pointed out to me in moimeme's reply. You are right, he showed me what he wanted to show me. I know he's up and down somtimes but honestly don't know for sure anything any more...My trust is shaky with him...And I don't think I'll get it back. I would love to chat with him and figure out what is wrong and why. Eventually we will, but I now need my time and space to heal my heart and let him go. I know what's infront of me and even though I've only shared a small part of my life here, noone has any idea of my own life, my probs and my husbands prob. either. It's easy to sit back and judge, be mean and say whatever, very rare someone actually could understand and be open minded, spirtual about what's going on. Everyone here has their share of probs. none of us really know what's going on other than what is put in the posts. I guess writing thoughts, honesty can be good and bad on feedback.

 

WWIU