How do I become a mature adult?

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I know I have some serious maturity issues (it has been brought to my attention a lot on here). I want to be mature soon so then I can be mature and have mature feelings and meet a mature guy and have a mature relationship and be mature enough to have babies and be in a strong relationship. If nothing else I should at least be mature for myself so I can not be so all over the place with my emotions. I want to become mature but I don't know what I am supposed to do? I don't have forever and a day for these emotions to happen you know?

[CarrieT]

How much of an intellectual are you? I mean that in a way of, "how much research and study might you be willing to do?"

 

In that regard, I would suggest you start reading books about healthy, mature individuals. Emulate those who are mature and strong and are role-models. Have those people in your sphere and influence.

 

When I was about your age, all of my friends were in their 40s because I didn't want the 20-something lifestyle of parties and booze and one-night-stands. So I went to lectures and concerts and museums. I hung out with mature people and was told I was worldly beyond my years.

 

To be something you are not takes work; research, investigation, introspection, and practice. It is just like those who want a smoking-hot or built body = you can't have it overnight, but you can have it with daily work and exercise. And it takes patience....

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

How much of an intellectual are you? I mean that in a way of, "how much research and study might you be willing to do?"

 

In that regard, I would suggest you start reading books about healthy, mature individuals. Emulate those who are mature and strong and are role-models. Have those people in your sphere and influence.

 

When I was about your age, all of my friends were in their 40s because I didn't want the 20-something lifestyle of parties and booze and one-night-stands. So I went to lectures and concerts and museums. I hung out with mature people and was told I was worldly beyond my years.

 

To be something you are not takes work; research, investigation, introspection, and practice. It is just like those who want a smoking-hot or built body = you can't have it overnight, but you can have it with daily work and exercise. And it takes patience....

I know how to do research, I can do it I am willing to do it. Does it mean I have to immediately give up going out and partying? I've kind of just started having fun. Do you have any suggestions about books or anything?

[eleanorrigby]

Arn't you like 19 or 20? I've read that we don't get our adult brains till we are 25 or so.

[CarrieT]

I know how to do research, I can do it I am willing to do it. Does it mean I have to immediately give up going out and partying? I've kind of just started having fun. Do you have any suggestions about books or anything?

 

In my opinion, you can do one of two very polarized and different things:

 

1. Learn patience and stop the desperate act for motherhood and a relationship and maturity and enjoy being the age you are. All of that will come when it is time. Continue partying and going out. Have flings and one-night-stands and FWB. Abuse your body and your soul and mind. Realize you only have a few years to be irresponsible and enjoy it.
   
2. Stop partying. Stop going out and, instead, act like a 40-year old. Buckle down on your studies, read The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, and The New Yorker. Read all of the religious texts; the Bible, the Torah, the Pali Canon and Mahayana Sutras. Become deadly serious about EVERYTHING. No drugs. Nothing illicit. Only do those things that will improve your mind and your soul. And before you know it, you will be incredibly mature. Here are suggestions on books for emotional maturity.
   

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Arn't you like 19 or 20? I've read that we don't get our adult brains till we are 25 or so.

 

21years old

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

In my opinion, you can do one of two very polarized and different things:

 

1. Learn patience and stop the desperate act for motherhood and a relationship and maturity and enjoy being the age you are. All of that will come when it is time. Continue partying and going out. Have flings and one-night-stands and FWB. Abuse your body and your soul and mind. Realize you only have a few years to be irresponsible and enjoy it.
   
2. Stop partying. Stop going out and, instead, act like a 40-year old. Buckle down on your studies, read The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, and The New Yorker. Read all of the religious texts; the Bible, the Torah, the Pali Canon and Mahayana Sutras. Become deadly serious about EVERYTHING. No drugs. Nothing illicit. Only do those things that will improve your mind and your soul. And before you know it, you will be incredibly mature. Here are suggestions on books for emotional maturity.
   

 

So if I pick to do the first option it won't make me bad as a person? And I can still eventually mature right? I know I seem totally stupid here asking all these questions but I really want to improve. I think I can stop being desperate (with the help of therapy) and I can just focus on school and friends. It's hard for me to do that because I get overwhelmed. I will feel like "ok I can do this" then someone I know will get engaged or pregnant and I'm like "omg omg I need a boyfriend and as soon as I get him I'm getting pregnant like immediately!" Then I calm down and I'm like ok I can be ok with out those, it's a never ending cycle.

[taya]

I know I have some serious maturity issues (it has been brought to my attention a lot on here). I want to be mature soon so then I can be mature and have mature feelings and meet a mature guy and have a mature relationship and be mature enough to have babies and be in a strong relationship. If nothing else I should at least be mature for myself so I can not be so all over the place with my emotions. I want to become mature but I don't know what I am supposed to do? I don't have forever and a day for these emotions to happen you know?

 

 

yeah i ear ya hun am only 21 but am pretty mature i have done some very inmature stuff in the past tho and have act very inmature in the past too but what i do is learn from my mistakes ..i try not to let history repeat its self ..exmply i dated a guy that cheated lie and called me names and left me for another girl then come back to me and i took him back.. i finaly wake up one day and show him the door for good ..guess what now know guys can treat me like garbage again ..i have in the past beg and cry over a guy and made a fool out of my self for a guy lost all my self respect over a guy ..not any more if a guy leave me what i do now is set him free i dont run after him or beg i may cry but he wont see it and i may feel the pain but he wont ear it ..beacuse i have learn from my mistakes ...dont make stuff keep happening to you over and over again .thats how you be a mature woman

Edited October 29, 2012 by taya

[xxoo]

I can just focus on school and friends.

 

Good idea

 

It's hard for me to do that because I get overwhelmed. I will feel like "ok I can do this" then someone I know will get engaged or pregnant and I'm like "omg omg I need a boyfriend and as soon as I get him I'm getting pregnant like immediately!" Then I calm down and I'm like ok I can be ok with out those, it's a never ending cycle.

 

Maybe a better question than "how do I become mature?" (which happens naturally with time, but does not necessarily require reckless behavior), is the question "how do I learn to chill out and enjoy my youth?"

[darkmoon]

there's alot to be said for thinking about what you say before you say it, and figuring out the impact of what you decide to say, too, if in a spot slow down, just say "i'll think about it" and do think, or just to stop somebody else try "i've said my piece" so no more jumping in and getting carried away by how you feel

Edited October 29, 2012 by darkmoon

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Good idea

 

 

 

Maybe a better question than "how do I become mature?" (which happens naturally with time, but does not necessarily require reckless behavior), is the question "how do I learn to chill out and enjoy my youth?"

 

I definitely want to do that too. I just really worry about getting pregnant. That is what I care about more than anything. It's so weird my friend is my age and when we talk about the people we graduated with getting pregnant she's like "god I can't imagine being pregnant right now I would hate it" and I agree but I don't mean it because I would love it more than anything. I would have done anything to be pregnant by my ex. I just am obsessed and no one gets how obsessed I am they pass it off like "oh wait" but I need a baby like I NEED it. I can't explain it.

[xxoo]

I definitely want to do that too. I just really worry about getting pregnant. That is what I care about more than anything. It's so weird my friend is my age and when we talk about the people we graduated with getting pregnant she's like "god I can't imagine being pregnant right now I would hate it" and I agree but I don't mean it because I would love it more than anything. I would have done anything to be pregnant by my ex. I just am obsessed and no one gets how obsessed I am they pass it off like "oh wait" but I need a baby like I NEED it. I can't explain it.

 

Do you seek the attention that the pregnant girls get? The unconditional love of a baby?

 

They don't stay babies. Soon enough, you have a child, needing a stable home and mature parents, so that he can grow up to be a healthy adult. A child who will say "NO!" and embarrass you and demand more patience than you ever thought you could muster. A child whose needs will come before your own, requiring you to sacrifice sleep, dating, sex, time with friends, and material goods.

 

Enjoy your freedom from responsibility while you have it. Get a puppy and dress it up

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Do you seek the attention that the pregnant girls get? The unconditional love of a baby?

 

They don't stay babies. Soon enough, you have a child, needing a stable home and mature parents, so that he can grow up to be a healthy adult. A child who will say "NO!" and embarrass you and demand more patience than you ever thought you could muster. A child whose needs will come before your own, requiring you to sacrifice sleep, dating, sex, time with friends, and material goods.

 

Enjoy your freedom from responsibility while you have it. Get a puppy and dress it up

I don't think I necessarily want the attention of being pregnant, I get a lot of attention (not to sound vain or anything). I would like to have the unconditional love and it's weird I just want to experience it more than anything. I am really afraid either my time will never come or when it does what if I can't get pregnant.. THAT freaks me out. I have had unprotected sex before and haven't gotten pregnant, mind you I did take plan b a few times and so obviously that would make it not happen but if I wouldn't taken it would I have gotten pregnant? It just scares me. I do know I need to wait lol

[mercy]

Have you ever done any volunteer work or gone on any mission trips with your church?

 

The holidays are coming, volunteer at a soup kitchen. Give up your Christmas or Thanksgiving and give to others.

 

If you have a pediatric hospital near you, volunteer there, they always need people to give their time. Read a story to a terminally ill child. Nothing puts your life in perspective as a sick child does.

 

Give of yourself, give your precious time to others. Reap the rewards.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Have you ever done any volunteer work or gone on any mission trips with your church?

 

The holidays are coming, volunteer at a soup kitchen. Give up your Christmas or Thanksgiving and give to others.

 

If you have a pediatric hospital near you, volunteer there, they always need people to give their time. Read a story to a terminally ill child. Nothing puts your life in perspective as a sick child does.

 

Give of yourself, give your precious time to others. Reap the rewards.

 

My church doesn't really do mission trips, I have never volunteered actually helping people, I have for political campaigns lol even though I'm sure those don't help people much.

I could see myself volunteering at a pediatric hospital (there is one pretty close to me).

[whichwayisup]

I know I have some serious maturity issues (it has been brought to my attention a lot on here). I want to be mature soon so then I can be mature and have mature feelings and meet a mature guy and have a mature relationship and be mature enough to have babies and be in a strong relationship. If nothing else I should at least be mature for myself so I can not be so all over the place with my emotions. I want to become mature but I don't know what I am supposed to do? I don't have forever and a day for these emotions to happen you know?

 

It just happens with life experience too, but work on "you". Focus more on being a good person, being more open minded, give more and take less.

 

Are you a responsible person? Are you able to make decisions for yourself without involving your parents?

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

It just happens with life experience too, but work on "you". Focus more on being a good person, being more open minded, give more and take less.

 

Are you a responsible person? Are you able to make decisions for yourself without involving your parents?

 

I am kind of responsible. When it comes to getting my school work done and stuff like that but personal issues I always ask my parents. I hate when I disappoint my mom so I always ask her what she wants or thinks I should do. Some stuff I have done I haven't told her though but those are things I regret of am embarrassed about