whoknowswho Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 evening all, new to the forum so go easy on me, Ive been with my girlfriend for just over 2 years now, weve had a couple ups and downs but as a whole all good, weve done the normal holiday thing, we have friends as a couple, never lived together, she lives at home and is VERY close with her mum. she lost her sister several months before we got together, she occasionally has days when shes a bit low, and has problems talking about it, i understand this and respect it, but occasionally it gets to me. Tried to exlain a bit of history above. 7 months ago i moved from the sea side town she lives in back to the city i used to and now live in again mainly for work, i dont do the normal 9 - 5 job and quite often do 80+ hour weeks(which cant be helped unfortunately) so dont allways see her as often as we both like. shes willing to move up when she has paid off some debts, and is working on doing that, though my concerns are financial (shes never lived away from home) shes quite messy and lazy (cups and plates left in her room for days on end) Lately she has been allot more emotional and occasional low days are becoming more and more frequent. allot of the time she wont even tell me, and will just have a as her facebook status and i have to full on dig to find anything out, shes incredibly indecisive, it just feels more and more like shes pushing me away un intentionally, i also find her becoming more childish, i love the girl i really do, but im starting to wonder whether we are meant to be, i hope this hasnt sounded too negative - shes a great girl, just pointing out the concerns i have, i really dont know what to do. toby Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 You seem to have serious (and in my opinion well justified) doubts about whether it will be easy and fun once you live together. I'd find out with her, how she sees her future. Whether she thinks that her emotional state and her behavior are beneficial to the relationship and if she doesn't think so, whether she intends to change. But it seems it is hard to talk to her. Communication is key. So, I'm afraid it looks pretty bad. You might want to think about getting out of this relationship rather soon than later. It looks like you are settling for her. That's not a good basis, unless if you are willing to put up with a lot of what you are getting now already, while LD. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 You spent holidays with her, and that should give you a rough idea of what being with her is like. But if you want it to be even clearer, see if her parents are going away some time, and take that time to be with her in her house while they're not around, and what it is like. Can she do the laundry? Iron your stuff? Cook for you? Keep a tidy house? I'm saying this, as I'm pretty messy myself. But love and being in love can do wonders. So that's what you need to see. Link to post Share on other sites
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