TheFemaleVoice Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 :lmao:Ok so for those of you who have seen my last post, my husband and i have become way distant. He works alot and when he gets home its straight to the bedroom or to the xbox to play with his bestfriend who is now living with us, despite the fact my husband did not ask me what i thought about it! Anywho, i feel so incredible distant from my husband and the lack of sex and conversations are really changing my feeling towards him, i mean of course i love him, he is my husband after all, but i feel like hes more of just "my friend" than my husband. We have an 18 month old son who i stay home all day and watch, but after the long hours of no adult conversation, he gets home and does not reallt talk to me at all...him and his friend are just always together!! im going insane here, i have no clue what to do and i dont want to look like im totally selfish but sheesh he could be spending sometime with my son and i....i dont know....theres alot more to the story...but the moral is..Im going insane..i have talked to him so many times but nothing is changing,,,now were moving and the best friend is moving in with us!! were never gonna be alone...........what do i do?!?? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Time for a conversation with your husband.. and kick the friend out... Any person coming between a married couple needs to go.. I'd bet anything his friend knows he is coming between you.. Talk to him, and show a clear boundary with him spending time with you and helping with the baby.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Make friends with other young mothers. Ask your husband out for a date. You both need time away from a toddler. Make an effort to communicate your feelings. Beyond that, your options are clear. Not defending his actions in any way but some men are not enamoured with babies or toddlers. Feeding time can be pretty gruesome. I have a buddy who took his wife out on dates but ate at the club with buddies until his son was four. Holidays and occasionally he ate dinner at home but otherwise no. He and his professional wife worked it out. Strong "medical" marriage, great kid, solid relationship with his son. Each parent brings strengths at differing times in parenting. They actually have two boys now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheFemaleVoice Posted October 29, 2012 Author Share Posted October 29, 2012 the problem with that is that my husband does not like to go out on dates, but yet he will take his friend to get a beer at a bar afterwork, stuff he wont do with me he will do with he friends...and as far as getting him to voice his emotions..id have better luck getting a mute to talk to me ....i know that he loves me, but there is just so much that is driving me nuts.......his only day off which is today..he has spent with his friend instead of me Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Are you able to support yourself and child w child support? What's preventing you from setting boundaries? Why is this situation dragging on? Any chance your husband is gay? Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 How old are you two? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheFemaleVoice Posted October 29, 2012 Author Share Posted October 29, 2012 Well like i said talking to my husband is very hard to do, its like talking to a brick wall and im always "making an argument" so i mean i dont know what else i can do. He is def not gay lol, but the 2 of them asct as tho they are married, and it is quite annoying. im 22 and hes 26 and we have been married for 3 years and plus i have known him since i was 4 so we grew up together. We have had our arguments dont get me wrong but its since gotten worse since his friend has moved in here with us. Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Well have you done anything that was suggested to you in the other thread, or is it talk with no action? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Well like i said talking to my husband is very hard to do, its like talking to a brick wall and im always "making an argument" so i mean i dont know what else i can do. He is def not gay lol, but the 2 of them asct as tho they are married, and it is quite annoying. im 22 and hes 26 and we have been married for 3 years and plus i have known him since i was 4 so we grew up together. We have had our arguments dont get me wrong but its since gotten worse since his friend has moved in here with us. When YOU take ACTION that SHOWS your H that you are leaving - he might get the message that you're not going to settle for the non marriage you're living in. Start getting your plan together to move. It may take him realizing that he's going to lose you for him to change things...and begin to listen to what you say. He won't believe it until you DO something different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheFemaleVoice Posted October 29, 2012 Author Share Posted October 29, 2012 ok folks, so i tried the whoe "Sit down" thing in bed last night and it was completely USELESS!! In one ear and out the other and every response was.."uh-huh" or "i dont know" or "ya"....Its my fault because all i do it start fights and pout all day...the reason im acting like this is because hes spending no time with me or the baby! I cant take it anymore, i feel so emotionally dettached from him and i let him know about it last night...he says we have no problems thats hes fine with us, that im the one making problems...how am i suppose to take that?? I am going NUTS! i dont want to end my marriage, but whats the use if he not putting his 50% in on trying to make us work? I know he works and i do appriciate that, but time with him is precious to me and to our son....i dont know what to do anymore i am completely and utterly distraught! Link to post Share on other sites
albr2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Set boundaries. Start going out with a friend when he gets home. Set it for 2x a month. You need to get out. You have your hands full - I've been there. Set up play dates with friends who have kids. You can get adult conversation that way. Get off the computer. GO on outings - the zoo, jump houses, anything that your 18 mo. old will like. Make new friends. Join a mom's group. Talk to your H and set some ground rules NOW or nothing will ever change. Make time for YOURSELF. GO to the gym, take aup a new hobby with your frinds. Get a job 1 day a week. You need to get out! I hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Agaun FV..all you did was talk...with no action. Nothing is going to change as long as you do nothing other than talk and complain...now act!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts