jcauto66 Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 It looks like after a very rough six and a half years, my wife and I are finally going to get a divorce. There was no abuse or anything. We met when I was twenty and got married after dating for four months. It's just not working out. The problem is that we live in Maine, and my wife wants to take the kids (ages 4 and 1 1/2) to Atlanta to be with her mother and start her life over again. One concern is that my wife is a stay at home mom and has no money saved up. She hasn't worked in three years. I told her that she welcome to take the kids for a visit for a month or so while we figured out what we wanted, but she made it very clear that when she leaves, she's not coming back. We bought a house in a small town a bit less than a year ago. My daughter is supposed to start kindergarten next month. We have roots here (my whole family, not to mention the house and my job). She has nothing in Atlanta except her mother, who basically abandoned her as a child. She keeps telling me that she has nowhere else to go, but I have been begging her to stay in our house with the kids and I'll move a couple of hours away and stay with my parents while we get things sorted out. She tells me that she doesn't want to be anywhere near me, because she thinks that I'll try to cajole her into not leaving (which is probably exactly what I'd do). Tonight she is at my parent's house and I'm at our house, alone. I'm ready for a divorce, too. It's just that I don't like the idea of her taking off with the kids and going a thousand miles away to no job and no future just so she can be apart from me. This house is full of kids' toys and is safe. It's their home, for crying out loud. They should be here. If she wants me out, I'll gladly leave if it means that my kids are home safe. What should I do? I was planning on filing for divorce on Thursday, hopefully beating her to the punch. Should I file tomorrow? Is there some sort of law or court order that prevents her from leaving the state if her intention is to take our children and never return? Should I get an attorney? I was hoping to just divorce amicably via mediation, but my first goal is to protect my rights as an invloved father.
saintfrancis Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 You definitely should get an attorney. I don't know about Maine, but I believe in some states you can indeed prevent her from leaving with the children. Not sure though. Get an attorney! :-)
brashgal Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 Each state is so different regarding laws about taking the children of divorce out of state. You really need to talk to a lawyer. Don't worry too much about the expense, for all you know all the lawyer needs to do is advise you of your rights and you may still be able to take care of most of this through mediation. Some states require divorcing parents to go through counselling (kind of a parenting class) to make sure that they both continue to work in the best interests of the children. Some will allow the custodial parent to move if they determine it is in the best interest of the children (better quality of life). I'd make an appt tomorrow if I were you. Why spend several days worrying about this?
overseas2004 Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 Yes you should get a lawyer. Good luck in finding one. Make sure they specialize in family practice. Make sure the lawyer is respected by the court. Since I practiced family law for many years I will tell you that you should file right away and raise the issue of her wanting to depart with the children. This way the court will issue a stay to not permit her to leave until the matter is resolved. You may even indefinately stop her from leaving. You may be able to get the children in your custody. Or you can work on a joint custody agreement where they would be with you for six months and with her six months. Of course, this can be extremely disruptive. Try to get a self help book on divorce. They are extremely helpful and they will assist you in making decisions ahead of time. It will raise some issues I bet you haven't even thought of yet. And remember a good divorce is a well planned divorce..... try to get all that you need out of it. Regards Overseas
bellejolie Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 I would definatly get a lawyer... you can't risk it when you have kids. I mean you're their father and you obviously know what is best for them, and know that running away to Atlanta is NOT right. It seems to me that you're also concerned about the well being of your wife... seeing that she has no money or job. But don't hesitate to talk to a lawyer, you obviously love your children and I think that you need to do everything possible to give them the best life you can. Best of luck!
Recommended Posts