ringo Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 Ok... define "damaged goods"..... is this a person who is divorced once, twice, three times??? Is this a person who may have several children.... or several children by different mom's or dad's? What is it really? I feel in my own experince... I've been divorced once and we had two daughters together. I remarried and my husband and I have a son together.... So if I were to ever divorce my husband... would I be considered damaged goods? I've asked men this before for their insight... they tell me all the good stuff... possibly just to get a chance with me... but honestly... how do you define a person as "damaged goods"? Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 I had my tubes tied when I was twenty-seven years old. I told my husband that he had to keep me around because I was "damaged goods". His reply, "No, you're just new and improved!".. Silly story to give you the context of the one and only way I would use this phrase. As a joke. Something to create a little mirth. I would never use this as a serious label and I would probably think less of someone that did. It is life. It's not a game and no one is perfect. We make our own choices and we all have different responsibilities. As long as you can love someone you're never "damaged goods". Link to post Share on other sites
sinner Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 The usually pejorative phrase describes someone who has been traumatized or grievously harmed by adverse life events to the point where they're not capable , or are perceived as not being capable, of entering, or sustaining, a mature loving relationship. A bad life experience is a necessary but not sufficient factor. The adverse life events also must be perceived as interfering with someone's capacity to love, to be loved or to form close intimate bonds. It's a harsh term. It's probably more indicative of the user's ageist bias than the relationship issues involving the person being labeled. Cynically, it's another person's low assessment of one's market worth in the marriage/relationship meat market. Link to post Share on other sites
havNfun Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 I agree with sinner, that "damaged goods" is a harsh term and referres more to someone who is psycho or unable to participate normally and lovingly in a relationship because of so many past, bad experiences. This said, it is certainly not the ideal for some of us men - the position you bring up. I would be unlikely to voluntarily adopt two ex husbands into my life, 3 children from two families, and the rest of the baggage that could come with all of that. It is a lot to ask of someone to own if they themselves are a first timer etc; however, for most every divorced woman their must be a divorced man out there right? So I would bet the pool is not so bad of people in similar situations. There are always exceptions. If you are this amazing, perfect, gorgeous lady etc. then your qualities might make up for what you take with you. It is tough though because most will look at two divorces and fear there is something not so perfect there. Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 I don't think I would ever use the phrase "damaged goods" to refer to a person. It seems cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
mronederful Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 one persons junk is another's treasure. my ex called herself damaged goods because she didn't think she would find another guy that could "make her toes curl" well, it didn't take her long to find him. damaged goods is usually in reference to someone who has baggage not damage, but again, damage is in the eye of the beholder, BTW everyone say hi to honey, she's my new farm girl friend. Link to post Share on other sites
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