hurtnomorerika Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Does it hurt when you hear people make comments about sidechicks, homewreckers, etc,? If they make those comments not knowing that you are the "sidechick". I was on a social media site and there was a joke about sidechicks being lonely during cold storms, and cuddle season, even though I've broke it off with my MM, it still hurt my feelings and made me upset. Especially, when I didnt know my MM was indeed married, because he lied. However, I chose to stay when I found out because I had fallen in love with him. Anyways, how does it make you all feel when people joke and make comments about the other woman/man? Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 No. I couldn't care less what random people think about me, my life, or my choices. Since they didn't know my situation, the dynamics, and knowing that I was rarely home alone during cuddle times I wouldn't pay attention. Same goes with all sweeping generalizations. If it does seem to hit "home" I would examine why that is and what you think about it/want to change it. But someone's generalization is not a definition of you or your self worth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 If it makes you feel bad, there's a reason why. Maybe you're not proud of what you did, it makes you feel shameful. ? What does it matter now anyway? you say the A is over (you indicate exMM) so don't let what people say online upset you. If the A is over and you've moved on, do your best to focus ahead into the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 If it's too difficult to read things said about infidelity, then that means that you are ambivalent or conflicted about such a choice, and that choice is in conflict with your core values. Apparently, according to your post, you would not have gotten involved with him in the first place if you knew he was married because that went against your core values. I think reading the infidelity board is helpful to APs, because it may help them to get in touch with their core values that they may be trying to repress. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurtnomorerika Posted October 29, 2012 Author Share Posted October 29, 2012 If it's too difficult to read things said about infidelity, then that means that you are ambivalent or conflicted about such a choice, and that choice is in conflict with your core values. Apparently, according to your post, you would not have gotten involved with him in the first place if you knew he was married because that went against your core values. I think reading the infidelity board is helpful to APs, because it may help them to get in touch with their core values that they may be trying to repress. Right, I would not have got involved with him, but I did go along with being the other woman when I found out. I didnt want to, but my thinking at the time was not clear. To the other posters, I think the jokes, bother me because at one point until very recently I was the other woman, sideline, etc and it was true that he could not be with me at times that I wanted him. Now, Im ashamed and feel like a fool because I allowed this type of behavior. I just hope no one ever has to go through this because its hard, especially when I know what kind of woman I am. At the age of 26, Ive never been involved with someone else's husband or boyfriend until now. It hurts so bad, Geez. Link to post Share on other sites
SecretFlower Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 It hurts a bit. Actually, hearing one of those comments is what sent me to LS in the first place! I was with a group of women and they were joking and gossiping about OW and I felt so out of place. So, yeah, it can be uncomfortable but I made my bed and own that I engaged in an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
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