BetrayedH Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 It's over. It's officially over. Too much anger and resentment from both of us. She implies OM is in her life forever and she even semi implied marriage. Just keep your wits about you. Someone has to be strong for your daughter and you need to avoid giving your wife any ammunition. Have your attorney start taking divorce action. Do you have a mandatory separation period? I would drive my attorney to get moving on things as quickly as possible. Keep your wife behind the curve. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheVoski Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 (edited) She's begging me thru texts to understand where she is coming from she's stating she isnt being selfish and she's not doing it at the expense of me. She just implied for us to divorce so she could do what she's gotta do which sounds like she will marry OM just so she can have our daughter over there. She was like I will never be with you again even if we were the last people on Earth and we had to populate it. Even saying we'll never be on terms to which we can talk like how was your day Her anger shows that she isn't over the relationship but her straight disregard to everyone and everything but her own wants and needs makes me not want to be with her. She states OM doesn't want to take the kid from me or try to play daddy. That's hes a really good guy, which he really isn't. This relationship shes in screams doom EVENTUALLY because she's livig in a fantasy bubblr and itll pop I see her regretting her this but it'll be too late. Edited November 5, 2012 by TheVoski Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 She's begging me thru texts to understand where she is coming from she's stating she isnt being selfish and she's not doing it at the expense of me. She just implied for us to divorce so she could do what she's gotta do which sounds like she will marry OM just so she can have our daughter over there. She was like I will never be with you again even if we were the last people on Earth and we had to populate it. Even saying we'll never be on terms to which we can talk like how was your day Her anger shows that she isn't over the relationship but her straight disregard to everyone and everything but her own wants and needs makes me not want to be with her. She states OM doesn't want to take the kid from me or try to play daddy. That's hes a really good guy, which he really isn't. This relationship shes in screams doom EVENTUALLY because she's livig in a fantasy bubblr and itll pop I see her regretting her this but it'll be too late. I think you're right that this relationship will fail eventually. Statistically, relationships that start as an affair survive about 3% of the time. Second marriages end in divorce about 75% of the time. Your patience level is your choice. Personally, I hope you're done. What else are you supposed to do? You've done what you can. It's time to start seeing her as an adversary. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Then, I would start going dark on her. Start protecting yourself and start to disengage from the marriage. Let her phonecalls go to voicemail. If it doesn't pertain to your daughter, then don't return the call. Even if it does, text a response or e-mail. Don't engage in a conversation with her. Start redecorating the house. Pictures of you and her off the wall. New paint, move furnature...everything. Make it YOUR house. Make it look completely different. And go for full custody. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheVoski Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 (edited) My lawyer laughed because shes obviously not knowing whys going on and her lawyer hasnt explained it to her; her lawyer sent papers over agreeing or such that my parents keep our daughter temporarily and we take drug tests. Which I'll pass. She had no clue of this from the conversation we had but I told her on phone how it is and sea acting like she knew and if I don't care why am I giving her ultimatums. Life is going to hit her in the face during court. She wants a non contestant divorce but I'll only sign if it says adultery. I had to tell her that our daughter won't be over there staying the night and I can't have women Over staying the night that's why she kinda implied marrying OM. We started texting and I hit this point to no response back from her: Last text from her: i agree but im begging you to think, look, and understand my situation at hand and know i am doing all i can do for the well being of both shelbee and i and im not doing it at the expense of you. i plea with you steven i really do to understand im not being selfish and i am looking out for shelbees bestinterest. im willing to work with you if your willing to work with me. I replied: I've been working with you. You just seem to think otherwise. I don't keep her from you or you from talking to her. You haven't even thought that one day she's at home with both of us to next day she's somewhere else with you and someone else. She's a little child, she can't digest that in just a month. I'm not controlling your life or even want to. I do what I feel is in best for Shelbee to cope with this. Like she said Wednesday she wants to come home but she assumes home is the Chapman house - how do you explain that to a four year old with her actually understanding? That's what I keep in mind, her emotions. Edited November 5, 2012 by TheVoski Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Sounds like you are starting to snap out of your betrayed spouse fog to me. There comes a time when you have to stop trying to preserve the marriage at all costs because it costs too much. And while you are trying to save the marriage, you end up at a disadvantage in the divorce as they quietly scheme to screw you. Glad you have been active with your attorney all along. ETA: you might want to consider starting a new thread in the separation and divorce forum. This is less about infidelity now and you might get more/better advice there. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 She's begging me thru texts to understand where she is coming from she's stating she isnt being selfish and she's not doing it at the expense of me. . Not sure why you're even replying Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheVoski Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 I don't know. I guess I was just hoping. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheVoski Posted November 7, 2012 Author Share Posted November 7, 2012 Again. Thank you all for the support, advice, and everything. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 How are you holding up today, bud? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheVoski Posted November 7, 2012 Author Share Posted November 7, 2012 (edited) How are you holding up today, bud? A little better each day, I suppose. I go out a lot now at night just to try and meet people and mingle. I guess the lonliness is the worst part for me. Today and tomorrow are off days for me so I'm cleaning out my house, looking for a gym to join, and really start the 180 FOR ME. Me and WS haven't texted or spoke since the last post of that text. Which is weird because she called to get her furniture and now hasn't made the attempt to get it. Oh well, she's setting herself up for failure in court. Hasn't called our daughter in 4 days or more, been almost 3 weeks since she seen her (besides Halloween). Edited November 7, 2012 by TheVoski Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheVoski Posted November 10, 2012 Author Share Posted November 10, 2012 Oh, lawd .. my wife be CRAZY. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 What did she do now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheVoski Posted November 11, 2012 Author Share Posted November 11, 2012 What did she do now? Accusing my father of molesting our daughter, went up there to get our daughter and my parents gave her to her, like I've said from the beginning no one is keeping her. Then calls me an hour and half after getting her asking if she could drop our daughter off to me. Also, stating I beat her and our daughter the entire time. Claiming I'm some big kingpin drug dealer. Saying I broke our daughter's arm, when she's never had a broken arm! All this off the wall crazy, crazy stuff. Claiming she never had an affair and this guy is a friend. .. Just pure craziness. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 Accusing my father of molesting our daughter, went up there to get our daughter and my parents gave her to her, like I've said from the beginning no one is keeping her. Then calls me an hour and half after getting her asking if she could drop our daughter off to me. Also, stating I beat her and our daughter the entire time. Claiming I'm some big kingpin drug dealer. Saying I broke our daughter's arm, when she's never had a broken arm! All this off the wall crazy, crazy stuff. Claiming she never had an affair and this guy is a friend. .. Just pure craziness. Good grief. Just stick to your game plan. Her actions are designed to throw you off of it or get a reaction. Document everything. Keep a journal to remind yourself. I assume you have proof of the infidelity (I can't remember). Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheVoski Posted November 11, 2012 Author Share Posted November 11, 2012 She told the people across the street from where I live that she thinks she's pregnant with OM baby and that they had unprotected sex once. We had sex to have a baby at the end of September 2-3 times. How can she claim no affair and be pregnant with his baby? Also, she stated to them "it is what it is". Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2012 Share Posted November 11, 2012 She told the people across the street from where I live that she thinks she's pregnant with OM baby and that they had unprotected sex once. We had sex to have a baby at the end of September 2-3 times. How can she claim no affair and be pregnant with his baby? Also, she stated to them "it is what it is". Ask your neighbours if they will be a witness if need be, if this D goes to Court. She can't spout off like that and then deny she had an A. DNA test is probably a good idea. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheVoski Posted November 12, 2012 Author Share Posted November 12, 2012 I don't know how she automatically say this is the OM baby with what happened with us trying less than a month and a half ago. He saying its his also proves she had and is in an affair. This would be a worse case scenario for her. My friend believe she is lying and told neighbors in hope it would get back to me. He said who goes and says I believe I'm pregnant when pregnancy tests are negative especially in her situation. He says she's gonna say its his, then pull it might be mine, then miscarriage is his prediction. Link to post Share on other sites
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