phone calls

[sparkle]

hello everyone,

 

this isn't a big issue, sort of insignificant but it's been bothering me since last night. I just wanted to see your opinions regarding talking on the phone while you're with your bf/gf.

 

My bf and I were sitting there in the car after going out to dinner, cuddling and talking about our new relationship and our feelings etc...when his cellphone rings. he decides to answer it, so i'm just sitting there while he's having a conversation, waiting for him to get off.

 

I thought that was kind of rude, but I'm not sure if I'm making a big deal out of nothing. but i didn't say anything to him about it. well cellphones are pretty loud and i could hear that it was a girl talking.

 

so he gets off the phone after a few minutes, and says it was his ex-girlfriend, she was returning her call b/c he'd called to wish her happy bday earlier.

 

I didn't let him know that i was bothered by him talking on the phone while sitting with me..on top of that, talking to an ex-gf.

 

What's the etiquette/manners regarding this? Does it seem rude? Or am i blowing it out of proportion? I wanted to say something, but we've only been dating for a few weeks and I don't want to seem like a b*tch about it or that I'm getting jealous or something.

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "i'm just sitting there while he's having a conversation, waiting for him to get off."

 

You make it sound like he was having phone sex. And why would you want to wait for him to get off with his ex??? Just kidding, sorry, couldn't pass that one up.

 

Yes, he was RUDE as hell, really rude. When he is with you, the cell phone should be OFF. Having a cell phone on while he is with you implies that there may be someone or something out there to do that is more important than you.

 

Before I make business lunch appointments with people, I ask them if they are bringing a cell phone. If so, I let them know it has to be turned off during lunch. If they say it's important for it to be on, then I just conduct our business on the phone. If they go to another call while they're talking to me, I hang up and never talk to them again.

 

No, you are NOT blowing this out of proportion. It is just plain rude to talk on a cell phone. But taking a call from an ex and talking to her in the middle of you cuddling and talking about your new relationship is just plain sickening. And why did he have to wish his ex a happy birthday??? She is his ex and she can look elsewhere for birthday greetings.

 

You tell him straight away, if he doesn't leave the cell phone behind when the two of you are together, there will be no relationship. There is just no way you could ever feel special if a guy is going to take all kinds of calls, from his ex or not, when he is with you.

 

I don't care how long you've been seeing him, you need to let him know how you feel about this...and let him know that Tony from the LoveShack feels 100 times stronger about it than you do. If I was his new girlfriend and he pulled that crap, he would have a cellphone antennae stuck in his ear.

[sparkle]

You make it sound like he was having phone sex. And why would you want to wait for him to get off with his ex??? Just kidding, sorry, couldn't pass that one up.

hehehe funny..you made me laugh.

 

thanks for the advice, you're *RING* right, it is rude for *RING* him to have his *RING* phone on and ringing in the *RING* middle of *RING* our conversation.

 

 

actually i'll have a talk with him tonight.

[Tony T]

When you have your chat tonight, make sure he turns off his cell phone.

 

Every since I answered your original post, I have been thinking about the people who talk on cell phones in restaurants, in church and all sorts of other inappropriate places. Does it make them feel important? This misuse of cell phones pisses the hell out of me.

 

I NEVER leave my cell phone on. I only use it to call out and I NEVER EVER take it to social events, to restaurants...as a matter of fact it is under the front seat of my car if anyone wants to steal it. It's insured.

[Maxie]

Well look on the bright side, at least he was honest and told you he was talking with his ex.

 

Maybe he simply forgot to turn the phone off. Don't give him too much of a hard time, just make sure he's learned his lesson and won't do it again.

 

Happy *RING*-ing.

When you have your chat tonight, make sure he turns off his cell phone. Every since I answered your original post, I have been thinking about the people who talk on cell phones in restaurants, in church and all sorts of other inappropriate places. Does it make them feel important? This misuse of cell phones pisses the hell out of me. I NEVER leave my cell phone on. I only use it to call out and I NEVER EVER take it to social events, to restaurants...as a matter of fact it is under the front seat of my car if anyone wants to steal it. It's insured.

[sparkle]

i didn't have a chance to talk to him about the phone call.

 

now i need to talk to him about acting like he's my bf and returning my phone calls, which he's not doing. so i don't think the phone thing matters right now.

 

i'm ---

[Tony T]

At first I got the impression this was a pretty new relationship. Is it official that you are boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

A guy who has recently broken up with someone and who is not over the breakup yet may find it very hard to be real lovey dovey with someone else so soon.

 

Not returning phone calls is extremely rude, no matter how long you have been seeing him. Not returning phone calls to someone you know is rude in all cases.

 

I think you are better off cutting your losses short here. If this guy was really into you, he wouldn't have talked to his ex in front of you and he would be returning your calls.

 

You can do better than this dork. Even if he hasn't gotten over his ex, there is just NO excuse for rudeness.

[Deejette]

He was honest, and that is good, but he was rude and insensitive. What crap about talking to his ex about her birthday! I wouldn't take it at all. This thing of keeping contact with exes on birthdays and holidays really gets to me. I have seen it so often in posts. Why do you tolerate him carrying on with his ex? He is either with you or with her.

Well look on the bright side, at least he was honest and told you he was talking with his ex. Maybe he simply forgot to turn the phone off. Don't give him too much of a hard time, just make sure he's learned his lesson and won't do it again. Happy *RING*-ing.

[sparkle]

Actually the ex he was talking to was an ex from 3 or 4 yrs ago, so I'm not too worried about her. I do know he ended a 2 yr relationship in january, and he doesn't talk to that ex anymore.

 

He did ask me out and he told me he wanted us to be committed to each other. Everytime we talk or hang out, he's very charming. But when he tells me he wants to meet at a certain time, and I end up changing my plans around, but then he always ends up working late and having to postpone plans. I think his career is his #1 priority, this guy is

 

always working.

 

Maybe it's the fact that he's 26 but I'm only 21 and I'm just a college student, so maybe I don't understand how important his career is. And maybe he gets tied up at work, and isn't able to call me until after a day or so.

 

I'm thinking about calling him up today, and asking him to hang out this evening. If he can't make time for me, then I'll call him before I goto bed and tell him...

 

"i'm really attracted to you..i like you a lot..i enjoy your friendship, and there's a lot of chemistry between us. but passion alone shouldn't be the basis of our relationship, this isn't what i'm looking for" and end it.

 

But I don't know if I should say end it or if I should just stop calling him, and let him make the effort to get in touch with me...maybe if I don't act like I'm sitting around always there for him.

[Nick]

The impression I get from your posts is that you are "hung up" on this guy (pardon the pun!). I can tell you really like him.

 

This phone stuff with the ex bothers me. Just how chummy are they? Even if they are "just friends" he should have had the class to tell her (or whoever called) - "I'm busy" or "I can't talk now"..."Bye".

 

If you two are going to be "committed" to each other, then he needs to show a little more of it. Be careful. The deal with the phone call and the missed meetings have already gotten your attention and they should be red flags of warning.

 

Good Luck,

 

Nick