Will I ever win my friend back?

[IrlaVine]

My best friend caught her now ex bf and me last year (not sex but it was getting close) and well I regret doing that to my best childhood friend. My parents know her parents but none of them know why we weren't talking too much on last week family & friends reunion; nothing more than hi and what's new. But then we just started talking to other people.

 

Well she said she forgives me but is not the same again (though I'm still on her facebook we have become more like acquaintances now; while I'm trying to get that friendship back). I'm really sorry. What else would I have to do to prove her I won't ever do something like this again?

 

Though my parents won't know this, my mother has lately comment on how it's weird that we are distant now and is suspecting something happened. We've been best friends since 4th grade till our sophomore year in college. This is when I got stupid. I made one of the biggest mistake in my life. Been trying to get her friendship and trust back since. Any thing else I can do besides apologizing which I have already many times? I was single then too.

[skywriter]

All you can do is try and have a heart to heart with here. If she needs to unload on you how you betrayed her and all the pain she felt because of what you did.

 

You should be quiet and let her do so. She may not ever be able to let herself be that vulnerable trusting friend to you. You can understand why and respect that.

 

If she can't, at least you know that you tried, and just tell her, you understand and will always leave the door open.

Edited October 31, 2012 by skywriter

[Darren Steez]

Friends since fourth grade, so you were more like sisters right? How would you feel when the two people closest to you betray you like that?

It changes how a person perceives you because if you could do that to her what else throughout the time you've known each other have you been insincere about?

 

She cut him out of her life, if you weren't so close she would have cut you out too but you can't force friendship or force trust rebuilding, you call it a stupid mistake but you knew you were messing around with your best friend's guy and it wasn't a spur of the moment thing and you didn't stop it because you felt you had to do it for your friend, you only stopped because you got caught.

 

Maybe it's best to just let her be, if she's ready to open those lines of friendship again then let her do it at her own pace, but I doubt you'll ever be as tight again.

[raea]

I have to agree with most of what has been said. It may not be possible to get the same type of friendship back. At least she is being civil.

 

When I was younger, I was great friends with a small group of girls. One night, one of them had a house party. I went, but left at a decent time to work early. It appeared my boyfriend went over there to hang out with the other guys, and ended up having sex with one of the girls. When I found out, I was livid. I hated her for a long time, and I found it difficult to fathom being friends with her. We got to the point where we became okay around each other, but we never really spoke again.

 

She did the same to another friend, and after they worked it out, they remained really close. She ended up even being the MOH at the friends wedding to the guy she had cheated with! I couldnt ever understand how they got to that point, but they did... I think it took a lot of openness on their part and working through a lot of resentment, but I do believe it was the girlfriend who initiated.

 

Point is, you can let her know how you are feeling and that you messed up and that you are there if she chooses to talk... however, I don't know that the relationship CAN ever be the same with you two.