dyermaker Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 If you trust that he's not contacting these girls, there's nothing wrong with looking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 2, 2004 Author Share Posted August 2, 2004 i trust that he's not contacting these girls, and i know it's normal to look, but when you intensionally go online and find attractive girls to look at....thats my problem w/ him. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 I don't understand how you're okay with porn but not with looking at clothed girls on the internet. When you look at porn, you're intentionally going online to find girls to look at as well. The difference with looking at singles profiles is that there's an option to contact them. If you trust that your boyfriend won't contact them, there's no cause for alarm. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 2, 2004 Author Share Posted August 2, 2004 well if you've been reading along here, i said a while back that i know porn is used as a tool. What's the purpose of lookin at clothed/semi-clothed cute girls tho? Just good ole' harmless male enterntainment? Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 3, 2004 Author Share Posted August 3, 2004 i asked my b/f last night if he was sexually frustrated, if thats why he does what he does, b/c some other girl had brought that option to my attention...but he responded w/ this.... (11:57:09 PM): I get what I want and when I want it from you (11:57:18 PM): you provide me with more than enough! Link to post Share on other sites
Artifact Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 ...while he is instant messaging you, he is searching the Yahoo Profiles He just likes women a lot I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 3, 2004 Author Share Posted August 3, 2004 i'm gettin really scared and i'm tryin to find a positive side of this. There's ppl who see nothing wrong w/ it, and there's those who don't, and i dont know what to believe. I guess I have to go by my own judgement b/c i know him as a person...the ppl that i've got advice from, dont. (11:53:25 PM): you ought to know that by now (11:53:44 PM): I'm not going to put our relationship on the line (11:53:48 PM): I don't want that (11:53:51 PM): we've been there.. (11:53:55 PM): and I don't want that... Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 don't change who it is you are. That's the problem with lots of relationships...people give up pieces of their core and that's not good. There are some things you can give up...as in the core, those things that are on the surface...the minor things. Don't sacrifice who you are for anything because there are lots you can obtain by being completely you. 6 billion people on this planet afterall. Some people will settle for those that don't want them completely, that I'll never understand. Don't you (asking the audience ) want that one person who wants you and only you? Not wants you and likes looking at tons of others? It is all the same, the mind and the heart...sure their heart might be with you but their mind is only half there. ....delay reaction for EC....lol Link to post Share on other sites
mørkt selvmord Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 okay.. i think i speak for everyone when i say 'ew' i saw the pic u have as your avatar so im assuming one of them is you.. both woman are attractive.. so i dont see what the problem is there.. you seem to be nice.. no problem there either (dont bitch me out guys.. just making a statement) if hes looking at certain pretty girls online or w/e.. then why the hell does he have a gf who has things he doesnt want? why not go out and talk to these girls? why stay with someone he doesnt like or w/e? he may say things like he loves you.. and your pretty.. and so forth.. but do you think that he really thinks that? maybe you dont have what he wants or w/e i think you need to sit down with him and have a LONG talk about this Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 well my b/f and I talked about this tonight on the phone...he said he's gonna not do it anymore *he didn't do it on a regular basis to begin with* but he said he thought it was his mistake and he was sorry. He said he'd still have the urge to do it, like any other guy, but he's not goin to. I asked him that if i did all this, only w/ men, if he'd be offended...he said no. btw morkt selvmord, if you read my quote, i'm the girl on the right in the pic Link to post Share on other sites
mørkt selvmord Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 yes i know.. lol.. i saw that after i posted and i was like.. yeah.. w/e.. i aint editing it you are very pretty btw Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 i asked my b/f if he'd look at pretty girls online w/ me, and he gave me a big YES. So if he'd do it w/ me, then he obviously wasn't meaning any harm by it. I asked him why, and he said it's just enterntainment and fun, and that he doesn't and isn't tryin to contact these girls. He said he cares NOTHING about them, other then to look, thats it. Link to post Share on other sites
Artifact Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Don't you (asking the audience ) want that one person who wants you and only you? Not wants you and likes looking at tons of others? Yes! Yes! Me! Me! Good luck on your relationship, the_opposite_sex. I'm glad you are talking! Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 yeah we discussed it on the phone last night for about 2 hrs. It sounds like i have/had nothin to worry bout. And I talked to his best friend too, and he said i have nothin to worry about. I'm coming to the conclusion that it's just my own insecurities. *still taking ppl's opinions though* lol Link to post Share on other sites
mørkt selvmord Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 let me just ask this...is lusting ok, as long as it's taken to a certain extent? like no contact or anything.... my b/f admitted he was wrong in that sense, to lust, but that he's still gonna have the urge to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 .....he said that what he does or did do, has NOTHING to do w/ me. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Everyone lusts. There are attractive people in this world. It's completely normal as long as you don't act upon it while in a committed relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
mørkt selvmord Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 child lock his computer sorry.. couldnt help myself if you get suspicious.. say ur comp broke and have him link his to yours (you can do that.. me and my brother did it so he could fix mine) and look in his history.. but thats kinda mean.. but what he dont know wont hurt him Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Originally posted by mørkt selvmord have him link his to yours (you can do that.. me and my brother did it so he could fix mine) and look in his history.. but thats kinda mean.. but what he dont know wont hurt him What he doesn't know *can* hurt him. When you break somebody's trust, even if they don't know it, you withdraw emotionally in your own mind. You abandon the role of girlfriend and assume the role of detective, and that's not fair to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 nah i dont wanna go snoopin into his business. i've just never had to deal w/ stuff before w/ a guy, this is all new to me as far as lusting over women on the internet and stuff goes. Link to post Share on other sites
mørkt selvmord Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 true.. but if your doung it bcuz you think hes up to something.. then there are benefits.. the one thing everyone has to worry about is trust.. i just think its stupid that everyone breaks it.. whys there trust when its always broken? why does everyone keep on hoping? it all ends the same Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Originally posted by mørkt selvmord true.. but if your doung it bcuz you think hes up to something.. then there are benefits.. No, if you think someone is 'up to something', then you don't trust the person. You don't belong in a relationship with someone you don't trust. And when you snoop, you're focusing on finding evidence instead of rebuilding the relationship. the one thing everyone has to worry about is trust.. i just think its stupid that everyone breaks it.. whys there trust when its always broken? why does everyone keep on hoping? it all ends the same Do you think it's trustworthy to be the kind of person who violates privacy? Isn't that, in and of istelf, a breach of trust? Doesn't he trust that you won't be looking through his things? Link to post Share on other sites
Artifact Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 You either believe him or you don't, and you either trust him or you don't. If you think your boyfriend is telling you the truth, then accept it and move on. The more you poke at him, the less it's going to matter what the real problem is. You will both just see it as this annoying thing you keep rehashing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_opposite_sex Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 yeah if there's one thing he hates most, it's bringing up the same thing over and over again b/c he and I both know we end up fighting about it ALL over again. And I believe him 100% when he says that all he's doin is looking. If he wanted more, then why would he have "dragged" me along for the ride, for 3.5 yrs?? Link to post Share on other sites
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