Str8Finesse Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Hi, I am new to this so plz excuse my punctuation and the paragraphs that are not perfectly indented. ((BACKGROUND)) I ve been in a relationship of 6 yrs with 1 child being the result. Recently in the last couple yrs the guy whom I was with began to be unfaithful and questionable in character. He even had a 2 yr relationship on the side. So many hurtful things I couldnt even began to explain. We are still in a living situation together for our son. We often argue and it seems as if we literally hate each other. During our realationship I was faithful with a bit of tit 4 tatt even physical fights. I found mysrlf drained and seeking love somewhere else. I found myself attracted to my exes brother N law:confused: and I felt a somewhat compelling attraction coming from him as well. Dont get me wrong im just like everyone else "morally ethic" but he is also in a similar situation having married a woman for 10+ yrs who has done acts of infidelty as well as leave him to care for their 3 children for 10 mos. A great guy with a government job saving others lives. Their house built custom from ground up. I wondered for yrs if this woman was aware of the powerhouse of a man she had, when other women only dreamed of those type guys ((FASTFOWARD)) recently he reached a boiling point and we began conversing heavily til 2am sometimes and 2wks ago we became physical.It was totally passionate to love songs intense hours of eyes locked ....freedom all my pressure points felt unlocked and we fit perfectly. This was no one night stand we been craving each other every two days going to restauraunts, movies, and bars hand and hand finishing each others sentences and following this strong vibe. He is in the middle of getting a divorce since they are losing their house she hasnt been home in wks and he begs me to come hold and cuddle affection that he dosent get. Im falling for him and the things he says cues me he is falling too especially since he is a sag and pretty straight up Link to post Share on other sites
Author Str8Finesse Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 Hi, I am new to this so plz excuse my punctuation and the paragraphs that are not perfectly indented. ((BACKGROUND)) I ve been in a relationship of 6 yrs with 1 child being the result. Recently in the last couple yrs the guy whom I was with began to be unfaithful and questionable in character. He even had a 2 yr relationship on the side. So many hurtful things I couldnt even began to explain. We are still in a living situation together for our son. We often argue and it seems as if we literally hate each other. During our realationship I was faithful with a bit of tit 4 tatt even physical fights. I found mysrlf drained and seeking love somewhere else. I found myself attracted to my exes brother N law:confused: and I felt a somewhat compelling attraction coming from him as well. Dont get me wrong im just like everyone else "morally ethic" but he is also in a similar situation having married a woman for 10+ yrs who has done acts of infidelty as well as leave him to care for their 3 children for 10 mos. A great guy with a government job saving others lives. Their house built custom from ground up. I wondered for yrs if this woman was aware of the powerhouse of a man she had, when other women only dreamed of those type guys ((FASTFOWARD)) recently he reached a boiling point and we began conversing heavily til 2am sometimes and 2wks ago we became physical.It was totally passionate to love songs intense hours of eyes locked ....freedom all my pressure points felt unlocked and we fit perfectly. This was no one night stand we been craving each other every two days going to restauraunts, movies, and bars hand and hand finishing each others sentences and following this strong vibe. He is in the middle of getting a divorce since they are losing their house she hasnt been home in wks and he begs me to come hold and cuddle affection that he dosent get. Im falling for him and the things he says cues me he is falling too especially since he is a sag and pretty straight up Im a gemini but I need feedback is this relationship not possible since he is my exes sister husband idk I feel like breaking all the rules with him :/ Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 The fact that he's married to your ex sil should mean nothing, If there divorced then what's the big deal. Find happiness where ever you can and if it feels right then go for it. I recently had a family member tell me that my relationship wasn't acceptable by society but I dont' care what others think. Opinion's are like *********s we all have one and I suggested if she didn't like my choices then that's her problem not mine. I'm old enough to decide what's best for me and I'm not looking for approval from others. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
woinlove Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 (edited) My view differs from cp's in that I think you need to listen to your own feelings and not ignore the fact that you think you are breaking all the rules. You will benefit from examining those feelings and determining if this is how you want to behave. Some people have no qualms about getting involved in secret As with married partners, but many do. You need to determine if you are one of the many who do. Second, as for finding happiness, the key point is to understand want brings you happiness. Some immediate feel-good could bring you tremendous unhappiness for a long time or it may not. For me, I know carrying on a secret A would not bring any sustained happiness and I would want to resolve that by having one of the relationships end, the M or the A. As to why it feels so right, it sounds like you both are in a vulnerable position with poor relationships but without taking clear action to end them or improve them, and so some needs are being filled. I think finding a new romantic interest is only a temporary way to fill them. I think it would be better for each of you to sort out yourselves and your existing relationships without bringing a new romantic interest into the mix. However, a new romantic interest can be a bit like a drug and the easy fix can be so much more enticing than doing what is needed to be happy on your own. If you succumb to the drug, your problems will still be there to be addressed in the future. I think children can have a healthy upbringing even if their birth parents do not live together and often this is preferable than having two people who hate each other living together. Especially when it is leading to such destructive behavior as physical fights and cheating. If you look deeper, there may be some internal issues that keep you in this bad R and you may learn it is not in the best interests of your son. Also, I can't tell from your post if the MM is related by M to your son's father or not. If so, you need to consider the effect of strained family relations on the two of your properly parenting your child. If not, and you have no family ties through your son to MM, then this is not an issue. Edited October 31, 2012 by woinlove 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 The fact that he's married to your ex sil should mean nothing, If there divorced then what's the big deal. Find happiness where ever you can and if it feels right then go for it. I have to respectfully disagree. The idea of finding happiness in others is hopeless. It cannot be done. The concept of "if it feels good do it" is also a bad idea. The genitals do not have neurons. She must use her brain to think instead of her genitals. OP has fallen out of love and if her story is accurate rightfully so. So OP is highly vulnerable to seek happiness elsewhere. This may seem like the right move, but it does not work. She needs to be single for a while, just as her guy needs to be single too. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted November 1, 2012 Share Posted November 1, 2012 Sounds like a train wreck. You have a broken man picker. So, do I. If he has this great income, why is the bank taking his house? If he is so near divorce that he lives elsewhere, when is his final court date? If you aren't married to the guy your with...why not move out? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts